Friday, July 15, 2011

The Worst Restaurant in All of Eastern Asia or the Entire World?

You know, it's pretty hard, nearly impossible, to be the very best. Many strive for it, few can accomplish it. Being the best takes years of arduous effort, determination and talent. Our society glorifies the best, as we should. It must be wonderful to be called the "best."

Professional male model Ken Nishikawa posing in front
of "the worst restaurant in Eastern Asia"

But what about the worst? You know, if you really stop to think about it, it is pretty darned hard to be the worst too. I mean, thee worst. The epitome of awful. The dungest of the dungheap. The absolute pits. A real shister-meister!

Like the best, it takes a real effort and a special "talent" to be the worst. But I think I found one example of the worst. Oh yes. And today, I submit to you a restaurant that I vote for the "Worst restaurant in Japan!"

I believe that I have found the worst ramen restaurant in all of Japan. Possibly the worst restaurant in all of Asia. Nay! This could be the very worst restaurant in the entire free world.

This is the worst run hotel in all of Western Europe! 

Funny thing is, even though I walked in to take these fine gravures that are eye-candy to even the most passive observer, I have never eaten at this restaurant. I don't think I have to. Just by looking at it, I can imagine the taste of the establishment's fine fare. In fact, I'll bet that, after reading this article, you won't have to go to the restaurant to see for yourself either. I'll bet nearly everyone will agree that this place must be the dregs.

I wonder if those are wax displays?

If you ever go to Shibuya station on the platform heading towards Shinjuku, towards the rear of the train, you'll see a restaurant called "Donbei"(どん浜街). "Don" means "bowl". "Bei" is an old word from the Edo period that doesn't really mean anything. It's like the "ko" in girls names. "Bei" is a friendly name for something that is for "regular people."

The part that is so "special" about this restaurant is that "Donbei" is actually the name for an instant ramen product. Yeah, that's it. You know, like in instant ramen that you just pour hot water into.

I always look for an immaculate kitchen. Usually the 
sign of a great restaurant... But there are exceptions.

And that's the "appeal" of Donbei. Because that's what Donbei serves: Instant ramen. Just like the same stuff you buy at the convenience store excepting that this fine eatery, they pour the hot water into the Styrofoam container for you! Then they pour it into a proper bowl so that, ostensibly, it will "taste better."

Ummmm. I can smell it now! Piping hot water into the instant ramen Styrofoam container. Let it steep for one minute and you've got a real meal right there!

This place has been packed with customers
every time I've been by... Oh look! There's one now!

Ugh! Now, like I said, I've never eaten at this place and doubt that I ever will. Instant food like this is poison. I'll bet that their secret formula can even be worse for your health than that other fine eatery you westerners have, what's it called, "McDonald's"?

Wow! This article is making me hungry and looking at these pictures of this fine repast make my mouth water. 

Anyhow, you've been forewarned. The worst restaurant in Japan has been located and it is probably a safe bet that, just like the Fukushima nuclear reactors, you should probably keep a safe distance away. 

Notice the line of people waiting for a table!

But, then again, maybe you should go there and eat it at least once. It's not everyday that you can say that you've eaten at the worst restaurant in the entire free world. And, if you do eat there, it might just make you appreciate the fact that there are many other places that are crappy too.... But never as crappy as this. After all, you only live once. Eating at Donbei might just make you appreciate life a bit more.


Murasaki Shikibu said...

I have had ramen that tasted worse than the instant stuff. Impossible though it may seem, it is possible.
Speaking of bad restaurants, my partner worked for about a week with a British establishment on the Costa del Sol. It's slogan was: Freshly prepared on the premises.
Basically, they were microwaving frozen meat pies among other things in a microwave on the premises, which means that they weren't lying. They were just being misleading.
I am sure there are tons of restaurants like this all over the world. We just need to avoid them.

Andrew Joseph said...

Mike... you owe it to us readers to eat at this restaurant! Seriously. You and your comedian buddy have a few beers and then try this. This is Japanese kitsch at its finest! Or worst! Whatever! Just do it, my friend. Then, after you get out of the hospital, write a real review on the place and trash it to your heart's content.

Majid Ali said...

Please for humanity's sake please do it once
I have made a blog at Since i have added a google adsense in the blog but haven't made a penny with this. I need your help and support to help me make some money to PAY MY Tuition Fees.
What you have to do is follow these simple steps

1.go to and search "Kwotz-Golden Words of Life"
2.then visit my blog from the the search results.
3.Remain on the page i.e Kwotz for one minute or so and do some random surfing
4. click ONE of the ads that APPEALS to you from ADBoxes and visit there.
5.remain on that page for one minute or so and do some random surfing.
and that's it.

IMPORTANT:DO NOT visit the blog directly. Visit through google and my twitter/google profle. Only ONE click is needed.
I will be grateful to you.
I really need your help