Thursday, September 15, 2011

My New Favorite Blog

Recently I have been reading a blog by a guy named James Altucher. I like what he writes. A lot. What he writes sometimes bothers me because he hits too close to home.


Let me flatter myself by saying that we often cover the same material excepting his writing is better than mine because he is even more self-unconfident and paranoid than I am. 

James is also Jewish. 

Being Jewish seems best for having a paranoia or guilt complex. Just ask one of my favorite comedians and movie directors, Woody Allen, about that! 

There are girls like this running around in Tokyo!
They give me an awful "victim complex."... Oh wait,
"victim complex" isn't what they call it....

I am half-Japanese Hillbilly American so I never had a guilt complex or such bad paranoia. And, considering the Japanese economic miracle, pretty Japanese girls, sushi and Ichiro Suzuki, I guess having Japanese blood doesn't work too well as a vehicle for having a guilt complex in order to get laughs. 

Woody Allen and the Monkees can complain about people like, say, Auntie Grizelda... I don't think complaining about Auntie Katsuko has that certain ring that makes people laugh. 

I had always thought that since I was 1/2 Japanese I was somehow superior (maybe like some mustached Germans did). 

People reading this blog are Homo Sapiens. Being half-Japanese made me believe that I was Homo Superior. I still think that 1/2 people, be they 1/2 Japanese American or 1/2 Chinese British, or 1/2 Korean Canadian are somehow Homo Superior if only because we have some idea about two cultures. Don't they say that two heads are better than one?

If somehow I were half-Jewish and half-Japanese then I might be the Ernest Hemingwitz of the modern age. Alas, I am not.

Too bad my dad wasn't Jewish, then I could be an insecure little Jewish nutcase, that I should have been, writing hilarious vignettes for millions of dollars a piece. Now, I am just a regular nutcase. No big deal. There's lots of those.

NOTE: That's weird. I don't want to write about Jews, Gays, Nazi's, or people who are crazy, yet that is the way this blog has turned recently. Perhaps my recent trip to the USA did screw my mind!

Anyhow, back to the point. I found a new blog that I really like. It's quirky and might take a while to get used to but I highly recommend it.

His name is James Altucher. One of my favorite blog posts of his is "Dealing With Crappy People". In that post he talks about his methods of dealing with jerks and the four types of people. I will probably lose you as a reader, because his writing is better than mine, but please go and read that. It's a wonderful post.

If I lose you as a reader because you find James' blog more satisfying then that's OK with me. It just might help me with my new schtick: Loser Paranoid half-Japanese guy.

Think I can sellout Las Vegas shows with that? 


Andrew Joseph said...

Mike... I like the photo of that Japanese woman with the great big eyes. I used to 'date' a few women like that in Ohtawara. They are out there... but are apparently waiting for dumb gaijin like myself to show their ugly face in Japan again.
Of course that may have all been in an alcoholic stupor.
I miss Japan and copious amounts of alcohol, but promise I will visit again in a couple of years. We'll hang out and do lunch.

Zanchito said...

Why haven't they hired you already at the tourism ministry of whoever deals with forign promotion there?

And thanks for the pointer to James' blog, it's quite neat!

Anonymous said...

I don't see the connection between sexy Japanese girls making a half-Japanese man less dorky.

From my experience, people around the world, especially those who have stayed in Japan soon have found out that there's a great disparity between Japanese men and women. Many women are sexy, open-minded, interested in other cultures, while the men are often complex-laden, weak, dorks who try to work against their image as being weak and effeminate by developing a fake, unbelievable self-confidence and cockiness.

Most Japanese women, once the social inhibitions are loosened (by alcohol) will start to complain how ridiculous Japanese men are. I often hear the complaint that "Japanese think they're the shit, but once they leave Japan they can do absolutely nothing".

So, as a half-Japanese man, you might actually have an edge over Woody Allen. Even if you lost 50Kg, because at least Allen is not a fatty.