Sunday, April 15, 2012

Doomsday Condos Go on Sale! 2012 is Absolutely the End of the World!!!... Or Maybe Not so Much...


"By the time you hear the thunder, it's too late to build the ark." ~ Unknown

"It takes a lifetime to build a reputation and only a few seconds to destroy one." ~ Unknown

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." ~ Mark Twain

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries." ~ Jesus Christ 



Did you ever see that sixties movie where the guy was diagnosed with a deadly disease and told that he only had a short time to live? He took all his money out of the bank and maxed out all his credit cards and lived the high life for that short time. Then, to his shock, he found out that it was all a misdiagnosis and that he was actually perfectly healthy? I can't remember the name of the movie but when he found out he wasn't going to die, he realized that was in deep doo-doo and was in debt waaaaaaaay over his head? It was a pretty funny movie.


I wonder why these people today who think we're doomed any minute now don't borrow all the money they can and live the high life if they really do think we're all going to die any day now? Maybe it's because these people are a bit twisted and being twisted is all relative to one's financial status? Meaning they have no money...


I mean, everyone knows that poor people are crazier than rich people, right?


...Or are they?


Yesterday I posted about how so many people worry too much about too many things. Please refer to: Worrying Too Much About a Worse-Case Scenario is a Sign of Serious Mental Illness and Paranoia....


Really, these people who worry constantly? I don't know how they can stand themselves. Isn't just trying to survive on a daily basis enough to worry about for most people? It is for me. I have my hands full worrying about taking care of my family and paying the bills and making sure they are happy and healthy (and other sh*t like, "Is there anything to eat in the refrigerator?") without having to worry about things that I cannot control, like the end of the world. Here's a short list of those world ending things! Things like: 


1) Fukushima ending life on this planet as we know it
2) Nuclear War ending life on this planet as we know it
3) Out of Control Government Spending ending life on this planet as we know it
4) Terrorists killing us all
5) Inflation destroying our lives
6) Rogue nations killing us all
7) China taking us over (I don't speak Chinese!)
8) Crime killing us all (or just me)
9) Tomorrow - will there be one?
10) Life on other planets and will there be alien invasions
11) Will Global Warming/Cooling or even Global Moderate Temperatures end life on this planet as we know it
12) Who is going to be the winner of the next American Idol, Dancing with the Stars or "Survivor Nicaragua"?


Of course I write about these things (it gets them off my chest) but trust that I do not run around thinking about them all the time. 


Girls just wanna have fun, ya know?


I actually met Cyndi Lauper at a Okonomiyaki in Osaka once!


By the way, you're far more likely to die of heart disease, cancer, emphysema, stroke, accident, alzheimers, diabetes, the flu, suicide, chronic liver disease (drinking yourself to death), high blood pressure, parkinsons or pneumonia than anything on the above list of 1 ~ 12. (Although if you do care about #12 and watch too much TV, why don't you just kill yourself and do us all a favor?)


Well, now I found an article that I thought might give you a moment to pause and think and relax if you are one of these people who worry all the freaking time. If you are one of these people (especially) who are foaming at the mouth and screaming "If the water pools at Fukushima collapse, then life on this planet will end as we know it!" (as if you have somewhere to run and/or something that you could do about it if that were to happen) then, read on. This is for you.


It seems that this sort of nuttiness hasn't a financial basis. I mean to say that being this sort of paranoid crazy may not have such a big correlation to eating junk food. Why? Well, I have anecdotal evidence that rich people can be just as crazy as poor or middle class people. Yep. 


I have this weird idea that rich people don't eat as much junk food or processed food as poor people do. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's a notion that I entertain. Well, my friends, here's proof that some rich people are getting caught up in the Zeitgeist of the end of the world too! I remember in the sixties that some people had nuclear bomb shelters... It struck me as odd, even then, the existence of these shelters. I mean, if the world comes to and end and there's deadly radiation everywhere, how is staying in an underground bunker going to matter anyway? Won't that just prolong the inevitable? Won't the end of the world and the radiation kill you soon after anyway? Someone help me out here.


Anyhow, folks, here you go. If you are really worried about the end of the world, then I have a suggestion; work your ass off in the next few days and save up to buy one of these. Or, if there's no way that you could make a few million by day after tomorrow, then if you really are worried about "life ending on the earth as we know it" then take all of your savings, max out your credit cards, and buy all the lottery tickets you can afford. Then, if you win, buy one of these apartments:


It won't matter that you go into debt up to your ass, right? The world is going to end anyway, right? And, when it does, you'll never have to pay off the banks! Everyone is happy!


Check out what the lunatics on the other side of the tracks are buying... The Daily Mail reports in "Doomsday Shelter Being Built Below Kansas Prairie where millionaires will be able to sit out the Apocalypse in Style":


When you buy a house, you end up feeling like you will be paying it off until the world ends.


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
The doomsday condo - What? No free parking?!
Well, how about one of these luxurious condos, which come with all the mod-cons, as well as a pool, a movie theater and a library - oh, and a guarantee that it will survive Doomsday if and when that fateful day comes.


For these luxury flats, deep below the Kansas prairie in the shaft of an abandoned missile silo, are meant to withstand everything from economic collapse and solar flares to terrorist attacks and pandemics.
Naturally, there will be no one around to phone if the guarantee fails - but at that point, the insurance will probably be the least of your worries.


So far, four buyers have thrown down a total of about $7million (£4.4m) for havens to flee to when disaster happens or the end is nigh.

This developer is a smart guy... But anyone who buys one of these needs to see a psychologist. 


Don't worry though, even if the psychologist is $195 an hour, rich people - who could afford one of these apartments - can afford it. 


Wow! Is that a load off my mind. I can't wait to move in. I hope the neighbors are nice!


Mit der Fuhrer dein Fuhrerbunker 30. April 1945

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