Friday, August 31, 2012

Six O'Clock Hitler! Talking Dogs and Nazi Urinals!


WOAH! This "Six O'Clock Hitler" stuff is getting really heavy! To see the radio show homepage, click here


Anyway, this is a radio show "corner" that talks about the real, true stuff, that is quite bizarre about everyone's favorite dictator; Al Hitler.


We had two wild (but true) stories today!


Years of research by DR Jan Bondeson of Cardiff university has revealed the bizarre but true account of Hitler’s Nazi dog academy.
Even more bizarre are the reports of the school’s successes; dogs writing poetry, stating preferred political candidates and imitating human voices. When asked who Adolf Hitler was, one canine apparently answered ‘Mein Fuhrer’.
Regular dogs just point. Those German dogs asked questions!

Hitler ordered his army to investigate the possibility of using educated dogs in the field, enabling Nazi animal psychologists to create their ‘talking dog’ school. They were part of a tradition that believed dogs were nearly as intelligent as humans.
Hitler’s long term hopes were that dogs would be able to communicate with their SS commanders and free up guards in concentration camps by taking over their duties.

Dr Bondeson reveals the history of Hitler's hounds in his recent book "Amazing Dogs: A Cabinet of Canine Curiosities." He describes the findings as a "really remarkable and fascinating insight into a hitherto unknown facet of Nazi Germany". And also ****ing hilarious.
His book also includes chapters on acting dogs, travelling dogs, turnspit dogs (a dog bred to run on a wheel in order to turn meat...) holy dogs and exceptionally faithful dogs.
It's only May and I already know what I want for Christmas.

The next story is shocking in it's simplicity.
You know how men's urinals are always dirty because guys don't stand close enough and they pee on the floor? Well, this is a big problem and companies and government's spend hundreds of millions of dollars a year on toilet cleanup?   
So much money is spent that toilet manufacturers are always coming up with ideas to make guys stand closer so they don't pee on the floor. 
Like little red dots that get redder if you pee right on them?  
Rumor has it that the world's biggest toilet maker, after years of investment and research, have come up with a urinal that cuts down dribble by 98.7%! And the idea is so simple! It is a hitler urinal sticker to put in men's toilets that would make Hitler's face turn red if you peed directly on him. 



The plan had been on hold as the the words "Hitler and Toto" sound too much alike "Hitler and Tojo." 

But you got to admit it. Just seeing this makes you want to go pee and pee more often. If this doesn't make one stand closer, nothing will.

3 comments:

Andrew Joseph said...

A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed."?The man says, "But this is a special dog -- he talks!"?"Yeah, right," says the bartender. "Now get out of here before I throw you out."?"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it." He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"?"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.?"Listen, pal..." says the bartender.?"Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question." He turns to the dog again and asks, "What's the opposite of soft?"?"Ruff!" exclaims the dog.?"Quit wasting my time and get out of here," says the bartender.?"One more chance," pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"?"Ruth!" barked the dog.?"Okay, that's it!" says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.?Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, "Maybe I should have said Joe Dimaggio?"

Andrew Joseph said...

Mein dog Damien the Rottweiler walked up to me and asked for his own papers. He then peed on them.
Not sure what to make of Hitler's dog academy. Mein hund kampf.
Did he only use German sheppards? Did they attack French poodles who gave up w/o a fight? Where they afraid of British Bulldogs? American pitbulls? What about those sneaky Russian Blue cats? Canadians... we have the Labrador... though Newfoundland & Labrador didn't join Canada until 1949.

ernährungsplan said...

very good post