Saturday, January 26, 2013

Now You Can Kill Just Like the President Does! Hilarious! Toy Drones on Sale on Amazon!


There's a hilarious new toy on sale on Amazon that has got to be making president Obama grimace. It's a toy Predator drone and it's just like the real thing! That's right! Now you can be the Decider and you can act out your own fantasies assassinating bad guys and American citizens just like the president does! Wow! What fun for the whole family! 

You know, this drone is a mini replica of the kind of drone the leader of the Free World, the president of the USA, uses to "Take out the trash!" (execute "terrahists," civilians - old men and women, pregnant ladies and small children too!) in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen and who knows where else? Your imagination is the limits!



Well, actually, I don't think it is really on sale. Someone has spoofed the system and put the item on sale, but it is listed as "Currently unavailable" (sold out!).


Product Features Includes: 
*US Air Force Medium Altitude, Long Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator with Display Stand (Dimension: 6" x 3-1/2" x 1") 
*Detailed authentic replicas with display stand Die cast metal and plastic 1:97 Scale (Dimension: 6" x 3-1/2" x 1") 
*For age 3 and up

This is brilliant satire. What's even funnier are the customer reviews!

Here's just a few of my favorites:


1,127 of 1,165 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's like i'm sitting right there in the White House! January 4, 2013
Durability: 5.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 5.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars   
This is the best toy ever. Finally, I can pretend that I'm a winner of the Nobel Peace Prize!
It's like I'm sitting right there in the White House with my very own kill list!
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1,922 of 1,998 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Helped me teach my son about the Imperial forces December 17, 2012
By Rambone
Durability: 5.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 4.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars   
My son is very interested in joining the Imperial forces when he grows up. He says he's not sure if he wants to help police the homeland or if he wants to invade foreign countries. So I thought a new Predator drone toy would be a nice gift for him. These drones are used both domestically and internationally, to spy on people and assassinate them at the Emperor's discretion. He just loves flying his drone around our house, dropping Hellfire missiles on Scruffy, our dog. He kept saying that Scruffy was a terror suspect and needed to be taken out. I asked him if Scruffy should get a trial first, and he quoted Lindsay Graham, Imperial Senator: "Shut up Scruffy, you don't get a trial!" I was so proud. I think I'll buy him some video games that promote martial law for Christmas.
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252 of 266 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Educational and fun!
I really wanted to show my toddler that it's okay to murder people and still come out a "hero" as long as you're in an air conditioned trailer remotely operating a Predator Drone 10,000 miles away in Pakistan.

I mean, if the government sanctions murder, it must be ok, right?
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Wow, my dream come true!January 25, 2013
By 
mcdopper "mcdopper" (Upstate South Carolina) - See all my reviews
= Durability:3.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:4.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:5.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Maisto Fresh Metal Tailwinds 1:97 Scale Die Cast United States Military Aircraft - US Air Force Medium Altitude, Long Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator with Display Stand (Dimension: 6" x 3-1/2" x 1") (Toy)
Like all good Americans (and to a lesser extent, Canadians, Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, and others) I have been waiting for a way to show my patriotism with a wonderfully detailed flying death machine, and here it is. Now, it's not like a regular military aircraft toy, oh no, this wonderful drone is multifunctional, it kills taliban and people we think might be taliban but we're not really sure but they had on weird hats so let's get em), but it has the added bonus of being able to fly and spy on those horrible other "americans" who, you know, pay for things with cash, or have a little extra food in a pantry, or have listened to talk radio. Why, my neighbor the other day, a retired navy fellow, said something unpleasant about the TSA, so I called the tip line, and, well problem solved.

Oh, my only problem with the toy is that the domestic spy package costs extra, but, so worth it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for WeddingsJanuary 25, 2013
= Durability:5.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:5.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Maisto Fresh Metal Tailwinds 1:97 Scale Die Cast United States Military Aircraft - US Air Force Medium Altitude, Long Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator with Display Stand (Dimension: 6" x 3-1/2" x 1") (Toy)
Loads of fun! Set up a pretend wedding with your other toys, and then bomb the joyous occasion into ruin! Next, set up a pretend funeral for the imaginary victims and bomb the funeral too! Collect a Nobel Peace Prize after the body parts have finished raining down from the sky and show your friends!
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242 of 247 people found the following review helpful
Durability: 3.0 out of 5 stars    Educational: 5.0 out of 5 stars    Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars   
You've had a busy play day - You've wiretapped Mom's cell phone and e-mail without a warrant, you've indefinitely detained your little brother Timmy in the linen closet without trial, and you've confiscated all the Super-Soakers from the neighborhood children (after all, why does any kid - besides you, of course - even NEED a Super-Soaker for self-defense? A regular water pistol should be enough). What do you do for an encore?

That's where the US Air Force Medium Altitude, Long Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator from Maisto comes in. Let's say that Dad has been labeled a terrorist in secret through your disposition matrix. Rather than just arrest him and go through the hassle of trying and convicting him in a court of law, and having to fool with all those terrorist-loving Constitutional protections, you can just use one of these flying death robots to assassinate him! Remember, due process and oversight are for sissies. Plus, you get the added bonus of taking out potential terrorists before they've even done anything - estimates have determined that you can kill up to 49 potential future terrorists of any age for every confirmed terrorist you kill, and with the innovative 'double-tap' option, you can even kill a few terrorist first responders, preventing them from committing terrorist acts like helping the wounded and rescuing survivors trapped in the rubble. Don't let Dad get away with anti-American activities! Show him who's boss, whether he's at a wedding, a funeral, or just having his morning coffee. Sow fear and carnage in your wake! Win a Nobel Peace Prize and be declared Time Magazine's Person of the Year - Twice!

This goes well with the Maisto Extraordinary Rendition playset, by the way - which gives you all the tools you need to kidnap the family pet and take him for interrogation at a neighbor's house, where the rules of the Geneva Convention may not apply. Loads of fun!
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And finally, my favorite review:


By USS LIBERTY
My Ritalin®-fueled first grade son thought it would be so much fun to play "Drop the Hellfire missiles". But when he brought it to school, the taxpayer-funded armed guard overheard him say the word "Hellfire" during recess. The principal immediately assigned him to indefinite detention. Then she called the media, and shamed him at the national level. Now he's depressed and taking Zoloft®. Where did we go wrong? Oh well, at least my new husband and I can finally take that 7 million dollar vacation to Hawai'i! Talk about change... "Yes we did!"

Read more reviews here.


5 comments:

Andy "In Japan" said...

Thanks to Mike for posting this, not just because it's humorous. Actually, it's good for the soul to hear that there are other people out there who think the same about the drone murder campaigns engaged in by Obama and his gang.

I just spent 2 weeks in the good ole USA and heard nothing but neo con regurgitated pap. Cheering for more death, more torture, and more government crushing of freedom. And that came from both right wing Republicrats as well as left wing Demoplicans.

Admittedly, hearing the constant stream of cruel mindless pro-death, anti freedom opinions made me hate America, hate Americans, and not feel so good about people in general. After reading Mike's post, I feel better.

Anonymous said...

Go luck at handing with al-qaeda then.

mikeintokyorogers said...

"Go luck at handing with al-qaeda then."

What? With toy airplanes? Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Andy, you Canadians are all the same. Huge chip on your shoulder about Amerika. Get over it! We're bigger and more important than u.

mikeintokyorogers said...

Anonymous, all you Americans are the same... America bigger and more important than Canada? Probably Andy would agree with you. Considering that he IS an American and all (meaning he is born and bred in the USA).