Monday, April 15, 2013

Mt. Gox Provides Bitcoin Humor

Here's what Mt. Gox's new catch copy should be: "Reliability! Spelled 'We Lie Ability!'" (Just say this as if it is a Japanese who has trouble with "Rs" and "Ls.")

Mt. Gox is the world's largest Bitcoin dealer. To read their webpage is good for laughs. These people reek just like some slimy used-car salesmen. I laugh at how the spin the news. Total propagandists.

People need to be rationale and realistic. Read this stuff on their own webpage and tell me that this doesn't sound extremely "fishy."

Humor from the Mt. Gox webpage:

At the very top of their page they say that Bitcoin is a good currency because....

"RELIABLE We're always on. Buy and sell Bitcoin anonymously 24/7/365 with the world's most sophisticated trading platform."

Really? "We're always on"??? Not true. They arbitrarily shut down service for three days starting last Friday (April 12th, 2013). Please refer to: Bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox suspends service following huge swing in trading price:

Mt. Gox, the largest exchange for buying and selling bitcoins, is temporarily shutting down following an uptick in activity on the site sparked by a massive drop in the digital currency's price.

The Tokyo-based exchange is suspending trading until 10 p.m. Eastern Time as it allows the market to "cool down," Mt. Gox announced Thursday morning. People may still cancel their pending and open orders, the site said.

Facts don't need to have any relation to the sales pitch, right guys? Then, back to the current webpage, in their news page it has an article that says

"Since yesterday, we are continuing to experience a DDoS attack like we have never seen. While we are being protected by companies like Prolexic, the sheer volume of this DDoS left us scrambling to fine-tune the system every few hours to make sure that things don’t go beyond a few 502 error pages and trading lag."

Wow! This is the language we are expecting from the new currency? "...we are continuing to experience a DDoS attack like we have never seen." Really, I mean, like dude? That's like, totally rad like!

They were attacked? Really? Well, no. That's not true either. Their most recent news post says

"First of all we would like to reassure you but no we were not last night victim of a DDoS but instead victim of our own success!" (sic)

"we would like to reassure you but no we were not last night victim of a DDoS" Thank god these people aren't teaching English to the Japanese. This grammar and punctuation is worse than mine! Why don't they add: "Yeah and we're so screwed up that we can't keep our story straight.... Wanna buy a used car?"

Then, to top it all off, after they make an admission that they lied (and try to somehow spin that into a positive) they add: 

"...please note that we may have to close the exchange for two hours in the next 12 to 24hrs to add several new servers to our system." (sic) 

Rank amateurs. You know they are freaking out and are screwed up. 

Oh, no! I get it! "We're always on. Except when we're not." 

People want to call this a currency? I know even my shitty fiat currency is acceptable anywhere anytime even if the power is off.

Mt. Gox is not reliable and if this sort of "exchange" is what Bitcoin is depending on, then Bitcoin is in trouble. Mt. Gox is run like a shady fly-by-night used car dealer. I don't expect them to be in business for very long. 

How could they be?

Uncle Mike grading a Bitcon... Er, I mean "Bitcoin"

If people want a reliable and trustworthy Bitcoin dealer, contact Uncle Mike's... Tell them I sent you!

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