I woke up this morning with a hangover - as has been happening far too often recently.
My wife was mad at me.
She said, "You have an alcohol problem." That's the first time she's ever said that to me. Really.
Now, usually, abusers of drugs and alcohol, of which I am/have/am been both, deny accusations.
This denial is bad and prevents the possibility of any recovery.
According to an interesting blog, "denial" (as everyone knows - or has been programmed to know) is the first line of defense for any druggie or alcoholic.
According to the Hazelden Betty Ford (so I guess Betty Ford was a drunk) Foundation's post entitled:
"Alcoholic's First Step in Recovery":
"I could quit anytime I wanted to." Looking in the mirror and accepting what we see can be one of the hardest things we ever do....Sometimes, the truth is so painful that we avoid it at any cost. Refusing to accept a painful reality that alters the perception of ourselves is a psychological defense called denial."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever....
So, last night, after another day of arguing (and biting my tongue and trying to be a psychologist and a patient person) with some people at work.... I came home and drank two bottles of red wine all by my little self.
I woke up this morning and my wife, as I mentioned, said the above, "You have an alcohol problem. Last night you went to bed and you left the dog outside and it was raining."
My wife says she woke up at 3 am and the dog was howling in the backyard, waking the entire neighborhood, and soaking wet and shivering because it was raining. I had put him out to take a shit and went to bed drunk and forgot about him.
Goddamned dogs! Why didn't god give them opposable thumbs so that they could open doors by themselves?
So, but, like many wise and seasoned alcoholics, when my wife said "I think you have an alcohol problem." I answered,
"Dear, we've been married for twenty years and you are just figuring that out now? Of course I have an alcohol problem."
She didn't say anything.
Affliction cured, Problem solved. Argument avoided.
I hate waking up with a hangover.... But, then again, so does everyone I work with....
Maybe someday I'll grow up and cut this stuff out.
Until then, I can honestly say I do not live in denial.
*= W.C. Fields might have replied: "Dear, we've been married for twenty years and you are just figuring that out now? Of course I have an alcohol problem... I married you, didn't I?"