Groupon Vailiantly Hangs on in Her Fight to Remain Dead!

Groupon? Remember that? (Polite applause and laughter here).

Bwa! Ha! Ha! If we turn our sales charts upside down, we're profitable!

Some guy wrote this humorous letter to me about my bashing of Groupon in Groupon Heads for Bankruptcy. You see, Groupon has been (and still is) a dog stock and company. The other day, Groupon had a whopping 30% share price rise. Amazing!? Who knows in this day and age.?

What caused this rise? Was it a new contract? No. Massive new sales? No. A new fangled technology? Tie-up with Google? Amazon? Disneyland? Nope. Nothing like that. The share price rise was caused by the announcement of a new CEO (to replace the cluster-f*ck former CEO Andrew Mason!) Big deal... 

I have a good question for any of you entertaining the ridiculous notion that this news is all that great. In act, I contend that this news portends and company in a fatal management crisis: Mason left end of February.... Have you EVER heard of a company that fired their CEO and then took almost 6 months to find a replacement? Think about why it took so long to find a replacement and then, they got a founder to do it anyway? I'll tell you what that means; it means that the new CEO didn't want the job either (Been there. Done that) and took it because there WAS NO OTHER CHOICE!

Desperate decisions don't usually become good business decisions, do they?

By the way, I had been saying for months that Andrew Mason ha screws loose. Replacing this guy, like I said, should make any company share price jump. The guy is a complete lunatic. Well, my friends, don't believe me, judge for yourself. See what he's done since he left the company thanks to TechCrunch: Ex-Groupon CEO Andrew Mason Releases Hokey Rock Album To Soundtrack Your Pivot (Review) | TechCrunch

If you’re a tech exec who finds Nickelback a bit too edgy, Groupon’s former CEO Andrew Mason has just released an album for you. Now available on iTunes and Spotify, ”Hardly Workin’” is 80s alternative rock about how to run your startup. I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but, regardless, it will make you laugh, either with or at Mason.

“I was climbing Machu Pichu / As I beheld the splendid view / An idea came for 100 million / Of shareholder value” is the kind of lyrical brilliance you’ll find on Hardly Workin’. Mason moans and croons over generic alternative rock — the kind that wouldn’t make the cut on a Huey Lewis and The News album.

That the shareholder of Groupon finally wised up and fired this guy and replaced him with someone else should make the stock price of any company jump! Groupon is so inept they could only squeeze 30% from a new CEO (and, by the way, the new CEO is a founder who must have been one of the people who voted Mason in as CEO, so consider that!)

Is a 30% jump so incredible these days? I'm not so sure. Check your Tokyo shares prices and see that Value Commerce was up over 20% at 2pm last Thursday (8/8/13) on no news also.

Anyway, this reader (obviously a poor soul who hasn't learned a basic lesson of investing: When a stock is going nowhere, sell it (or avoid it in the first place). .... When its price drops, take profits when your position doubles or close out the position at the best possible time. Take your losses and learn a lesson.

But this guy won't. He has some wild idea that Groupon is going to recover to its $27 dollar price... Excuse me while I wipe the coffee that just came out my nostrils from laughing....

Anyway, just to show how delusional and confused some people are, the reader writes (concerning the 30% price jump): 

Groupon? Oh, but you were so wrong!

Now if they can just do this another... lessee... four times, and they'll be over their IPO price! 

Groupon Shares Make Their Biggest One-Day Jump Ever!

OK. Is this guy a great comedian or is he serious? I think he is joking (I hope he's joking!!!!) Here's how I replied:

Lessee.....From $8.75 to $10.57.... The shares were about $27 at one time (Nov. 2011)... Go ahead, buy GroupOn! The investment of a lifetime, I reckon! You are happy about a 30% jump in one day? You're kidding, right? In that same time (From Nov. 2011 to today), the S&P 500 has jumped more than 144% while Groupon has lost nearly 70%... I highly suggest that you study what qualitative easing should (and does) do to stock prices. 

That the Dow, S&P, etc. are all seeing huge run-ups yet Groupon is still in the doghouse and people crow simply makes former brokers like me just shake their heads... I think the word is "Muppets" is the term people use today.... Lambs to the slaughter. 

Do yourself a favor. Take my advice, sell off your Groupon shares now. Take your losses and learn a lesson. A 30% jump on nothing but news that a new CEO is appointed when the business plan is still built on Email SPAM is a FARCE. 

Expect Groupon share prices to hit their inherent value in the near future: Zero.

Thanks to my friend, James E.!!!!! You are tops!

Facebook Advertising and "Promote" Scam is a Total Failure! Judge For Yourself!

I love Karl Denninger. I don't always agree with him but I like his "Take no prisoners" attitude. Today he points out something that I've been complaining about for a long time: Facebook's scams and failure in advertising.

Please refer to: Market Ticker's Facebook's "Promote" Blows Up In Their Own Face?


There's a meme that has been flying around for a while since Facebook introduced the "promote" feature (where you can pay to cause your postings to show up on people's consolidated timelines -- and if you don't, most of the time they won't) that I'd like to address:

Many of us managing Facebook fan pages have noticed something strange over the last year: how our reach has gotten increasingly ineffective. How the messages we post seem to get fewer clicks, how each message is seen by only a fraction of our total “fans.”
It’s no conspiracy. Facebook acknowledged it as recently as last week: messages now reach, on average, just 15 percent of an account’s fans. In a wonderful coincidence, Facebook has rolled out a solution for this problem: Pay them for better access.
As their advertising head, Gokul Rajaram, explained, if you want to speak to the other 80 to 85 percent of people who signed up to hear from you, “sponsoring posts is important.”

What, did you think that you were going to get something for free forever?
Well, no.

But here's the problem -- Facebook apparently can't make any money (so their results show) without trying to ding you on both sides.  In other words not only do they insist that a person with a page pay to reach most of the people who "like" them, they also then spam the users who like the page with their own advertising.

This is tantamount to an admission that their advertising model is a failure.

Yep. FAILURE! There's nothing much that I can add to this. I've written many times about how much I dislike Facebook's business model and how I think mobile advertising is a failure... Recently I've been grousing - on Facebook no less - about how my older posts would get 70, 80, 100, 150 likes... Now? They only get 5 or 6? How did that happen? 

Well, it's obvious isn't it? They see that I was getting many hits and shares so they decided to cut my access in the hopes that I'd buy in to their "promote" scam. 

Well, I don't.

I've also noticed that people coming to my site from seeing a link from Facebook has dropped off a cliff while Twitter is still there. Facebook launched their "promote" scam in May. The results six months later are a disaster. Evidence? See for yourself:

The traffic to my blog over these last six months from May ~ Dec. 2012. Facebook that used to rank with Twitter has dropped off a cliff. It's obvious why.

You know what they say? The proof is is in pudding.

Facebook is a marketing, advertising and strategic planning failure.

Read more at the Market Ticker: Facebook's "Promote" Blows Up In Their Own Face?

Groupon Plummets Towards Zero!

Less than one year ago, while Groupon shares were selling for $23.38,  I made a prediction and wrote in "Groupon Stock Holders! Head For the Exits!"

I'll make a prediction here: GRPN stock price will be under $5.00 by December 15, 2012 (maybe $1.00?) So if you want to be stupid and "BUY" then wait for their 60% off Groupon share price coupons! (Or, as Karl Denninger says, "There's crazy and then there's really crazy!") 

Well, now, the share price of Groupon is crashing even faster than I ever dreamed possible. Today, Groupon shares took another massive pummeling and, as of today's market close, Groupon has taken a thrashing dropping almost 30% in one day (- $1.15) to close at an all-time low of $2.76!

Yahoo! Finance reports in "Groupon Stock Plummets After Poor Q3 Earnings: Has it Hit a Wall?" ( a few hours before the market closed):

Groupon (GRPN) shares were under heavy pressure Friday morning -- at one point hitting an all-time low -- after the daily deals company reported another disappointing earnings quarter.

Shares of Chicago-based Groupon were falling 23.5% to $3 just after the start of trading. Earlier in the session, shares dropped as low as $2.95. Additionally, the percentage decline puts Groupon on track for the second-worst single-day drop in its short public history. According to FactSet data, the steepest decline in a single session was a 27% plunge on Aug. 14.

The stock has plunged 85% during its time on the market as investors have grown increasingly worried about the vitality of the company's business model.

Investors are worried about Groupon's "Business model"! What? Just how healthy could any business model be that is founded upon Spam Mail? 

Nevertheless, it is astounding how far and fast the once mighty have fallen! You'll remember that they were once offered $4 billion dollars for their business and they refused it. What's it worth now? A minor fraction of that?

Actually, I feel sorry for all those folks who have had hundreds of millions of dollar wiped off the books.

It will be a miracle if Groupon can survive in its current configuration for another six months, especially as the economy wanes. I predict bankruptcy or Groupon being sold before December 2013. Can Facebook be far behind?

Facebook Shares Plunge After Lock-up Expires

UPDATE AT BOTTOM:

Today, employees of Facebook were allowed to sell their stock after the initial Lock-up period expired on Monday. The Stock markets were closed on Monday and tuesday due to Typhoon Sandy and opened up today, Wednesday, 10/31/12 USA time.

Facebook shares lost $0.83 cents per share.

The Free Dictionary explains what a "Lock-up period" is:

A time during which a publicly-traded company forbids management and large stockholders to sell their shares, usually following an initial public offering. Depending on the company, the lockup period may be 90 to 180 days. It exists to ensure that the market is not flooded with shares in the company at any given time, which would increase supply and cause a drop in price. Large shareholders selling their shares may also be seen as an indication of a lack of confidence in the company, triggering a panic sell. After the lockup period ends, however, shareholders may sell without restriction.

Today, 234 million shares became available. In two weeks another 777 million will be available. Yahoo Finance explains:

A lock-up period that had prevented such sales expired on Monday. U.S. stock markets opened on Wednesday for the first time since Superstorm Sandy hit the East Coast, so that's when employees could start selling.

In all, 234 million additional shares and stock options held by employees as of Oct. 15 became eligible to flood the market. CEO Mark Zuckerberg is not selling. He has already said that he won't be selling stock until at least next September.

The next lock-up expiration comes on Nov. 14, when 777 million shares and stock options will become eligible to be sold.

Facebook Inc.'s stock fell 83 cents, or 3.8 percent, to close at $21.11 Wednesday. The stock is down 44 percent from its IPO price of $38.

Facebook is down more than 44.8% from it's IPO price. With this massive load of shares becoming available, I'm looking for Facebook stock to be under $15 dollars by end December 2013... 

My predictions for Groupon, while grim, were too optimistic. I said in Groupon Stock Holders! Head For The Exits! would be under $5 by end December, but I want to lower that to under $4. 

Update: Janet Tavakoli at Huffington Post writes in "Facebook Stock: New Strong Sell Signals":

After trading hours on Friday, October 26, several senior Facebook officers made required filings of 4s forms to the SEC reporting that on October 25, they converted their newly unlocked restricted shares from  Class B common shares, which get ten votes, to Class A common shares which only get one vote.  Unlike the Class B shares, the Class A shares can be traded in the public market.  In fact, the only reason to give up the ten times voting rich Class B shares for Class A shares is to ready yourself to sell the shares, since Facebook offers no economic value when the exchange is made.  In other words, as soon as their shares were unlocked, Facebook's officers got them ready for sale in the open market.

Like I wrote above, "Facebook stock to be under $15 dollars by end December 2013." Of course I don't know the exact timeline but, after that, look for Facebook to go the way of Myspace: Zero within a few years.

Groupon Heads for Bankruptcy?

They cannot stand another year of this. How could a stock go from over $26 in November of 2011 to $7.77 8 months later is simply astounding... It had hit a high of $31.14 at IPO. From $31.14 to $7.77 is a 70.24% drop!


I warned people in November of 2011 to get out of Groupon in Groupon Stock Holders! Head For the Exits! when the share price was over $23!

But today, folks, Groupon's stock hits lowest level since IPO: $7.77 (I think, in this case, three 7s is NOT a lucky number!)

But maybe there's some good news for investors in there?

Yahoo Finance reports: Groupon's stock hits all-time low amid worries about site traffic, exposure to Europe

In addition, a Citi Investment Research analyst expressed some concerns about Groupon's exposure to Europe and its weak economy. 

Exposure to Europe, yeah? Well, that can't be good! But maybe there's a silver lining?

The Motley Fool writes: Groupon Crashes to New Low: What Investors Need to Know

Groupon continues to underperform the group. This is the second time this month that the stock has tumbled. On July 2 shares slid on news that Groupon Chairman Eric Lefkofsky was taking a step back from his role at the company. It's discouraging to see a Groupon co-founder turn his back on the company at such a critical time. In hindsight, Groupon shouldn't have turned down a possible takeover by Google (Nasdaq: GOOG  ) for a rumored $5.3 billion.

However you cut it, things don't look good for the daily deals site. Concerns over the financial health of the business are nothing new. Not only do I think the current stock price is well deserved, but I also have little confidence in management's ability to turn things around. I stand by my underperform CAPScall on the stock.

Gee? That article didn't have the happy ending "feel good talk" I was looking for.... Maybe this one will?

All Things reports: Free-Falling Groupon Has Its Problems, but Bankruptcy Talk Is Bunk

As the stock continued to slide, a Reuters report suggested the collapse had to do with economic weakness in Europe, where Groupon gets about a quarter of its revenue. Sameet Sinha, an analyst at B. Riley & Co., told the wire service, “Europe is a concern, obviously.” But Mahaney was less concerned about Europe, saying that there’s not much evidence it will cause a material risk to estimates. Rather, he tweaked his price target because of lower 2013 estimates.

Additionally, the stock has not yet stabilized since last week when Eric Lefkofsky, Groupon’s executive chairman and co-founder, said he had stepped back from day-to-day work with the company so he could devote more attention to his venture capital firm, comfortable with that step given the recent additions to Groupon’s executive team.

Groupon is expected to report second-quarter results in late July or early August.

No. That didn't sound too good at the end either! You know that when the bankruptcy talks come out and are denied, then there's smoke in the room.... Maybe fire in the kitchen....

-70.24 percent since IPO

Perhaps my prediction of under $5 a share in December is too high? 

Groupon has to be one of the greatest stock failures in history.... How will Facebook find a way to top that?

But, ultimately, smart old Mike, who can call stocks like Jimmy the Greek can call sports results can only chortle like a sick rooster. When I chuckle about this stuff and then look at the gold prices and see them depressed (not nearly as bad as this, though) my wife says,

"Yeah? If you are so smart, then why ain't you rich?"


NOTE: Groupon in Japan must be doing worse, actually. I haven't seen a Groupon advertisement in months. They've dropped off the map in japan and I hear nothing positive about them from women's magazine people and former users.

40% Facebook's supposed 900 million alleged users don't exist?

Another one from the "No way. You've got to be kidding me!" file.

If I hadn't already laid out a litany of reasons to stay away from stocks like Groupon, Facebook and the rest of everything that has any whiff of so-called "Social Media" involved with it, here comes another reason:


"Spammers create as many as 40 percent of the accounts on social-media sites...."


So that means that 40% Facebook's supposed 900 million alleged users don't exist?


Bloomberg reports in: ‘Likejacking’: Spammers Hit Social Media: 

“Social spam can be a lot more effective than e-mail spam,” says Mark Risher, chief executive officer of Impermium, which sells anti-spam software. “The bad guys are taking to this with great abandon.”

Spammers create as many as 40 percent of the accounts on social-media sites, according to Risher. About 8 percent of messages sent via social pages are spam, approximately twice the volume of six months ago, he says. Spammers use the sharing features on social sites to spread their messages. Click on a spammer’s link on Facebook, and it may ask you to “like” or “share” a page, or to allow an app to gain access to your profile.

Woo-boy! Did I say "Facebook shares in the mid-20s by December?" I did. Good. But I was wrong. Look for the mid-10s! 

That's where it's going!

Read more:  ‘Likejacking’: Spammers Hit Social Media

Time to Quit Facebook for Me!

At a party: Mr. Groupon, I'd like to introduce my friend Mr. Facebook... Mr. Facebook, meet Mr. Groupon... I'm sure you both have much in common and will have plenty to talk about...."

Folks. I've decided to quit Facebook (I've never done Groupon!)

みなさん、僕はfacebookを辞めます。理由はいくつかありますが、僕のまったく興味の無い写真がいつも大量におくられてきたり、はるか遠くの国で行われるイベントの招待が無数に来たり。。もういい加減嫌になってしまいました。facebookはもうcoolじゃないし飽きた。まあ、みなさん僕のともだちになってくれてありがとう。来週土曜５月２６日が最後です。もし、僕と連絡とりたいなら僕のブログの方にお願いします。http://bit.ly/JqwEze

There’s lots of reasons but the biggest one is that Facebook is a pain in the ass and not user friendly. The second reason is that Facebook seems to be getting more and more like the comments section of webpages where idiots write asinine stuff and constantly flame each other. What fun is it to read that kind of stupidity?

Other reasons to dislike Facebook?

I also get far too many notices and photos that I don't care about from people - even when I stop all notifications, they still come (it’s a bug, folks!) I think it’s a sort of SPAM.

I get invitations to parties from people I don't know who live 3,000 miles away from me. Yeah, right... I’ll be there! Did I mention anything about SPAM? I did? OK.

Facebook is a waste of time. 

Facebook isn't cool or fun anymore . My last day will be 5/26/12. People who want to contact me can do so at this blog. Actually, I've wanted to quit for a long time and, now that I have finally decided to quit... I feel better.

Facebook IPO in BIG Trouble? Could Be!

Could Facebook become the big money loser that some of us think it will? Yep. The tea leaves are lining with the stars...

Sometimes I read something that just makes me say, "I told you so!" and I laugh all the way to the refrigerator to get myself a stiff drink so that I can chuckle some more. Last month I wrote in Facebook is a Failure as a Marketing and Sales Tool - Here's Data!

Looking at how badly Groupon is dropping, refer to Groupon Shares Fall Off a Cliff, Down 42% Since IPO, Facebook had better IPO as soon as possible because I suspect that the actual value of these social networks could be close to zero. I already know that Facebook is losing money. 

Don't forget that, just a few years ago, Myspace was the King of Social Networks... Today? They closed their office in Japan last month.

Could Facebook be a few years behind Myspace?

Well, but what do we have here? Looks like Facebook's IPO could be in BIG TROUBLE! Bloomberg reports in Facebook IPO Said to Meet Weaker-Than-Forecast Demand:

Facebook Inc. (FB)’s initial public offering has so far generated lower-than-expected demand from institutional investors who are concerned about the company’s growth prospects, people with knowledge of the matter said.

Some investors expressed reluctance after Facebook said on May 9 that advertising growth hasn’t kept pace with the increase in users, said the people, who asked not to be identified because the process is private. Facebook is also telling analysts that sales may not meet their most optimistic projections, two people said.

Facebook executives have another week to market the IPO, scheduled to price on May 17, and underwriters are stepping up efforts to drum up interest from large shareholders, one person said. Underscoring concerns that growth may taper for the world’s biggest social network, 79 percent of respondents in the Bloomberg Global Poll of 1,253 investors, analysts and traders who are Bloomberg subscribers said Facebook doesn’t deserve a valuation at $96 billion, the high end of its projected range.

“Expectations on Facebook are way too high,” said Mitsuo Shimizu, a market analyst at Tokyo-based Iwai Cosmo Securities Co. “Given its fundamentals, the company doesn’t look anywhere cheap in valuation.”

As with Groupon, Facebook's business model is seriously flawed. In Groupon's case, the business model is built around SPAM mail... What business model built around sending people junk mail and SPAM could possibly be good? I wrote about that in Groupon is a Disaster! What Did I Tell You?


In Facebook's case, well, in Facebook's case, I don't really know what the business model is excepting to sell paid advertising and that model doesn't seem to work at all anymore.


Groupon's share price is now less than 50% of its IPO in just six months, nearly 70% off its high. Will Facebook do the same? 


Don't bet that it won't. Facebook is the end of the honeymoon between investors and Social Media.

Today's Economic and Social Titanic?

Nod and warning to stay away from any Facebook IPO!):

See more at: Zerohedge

I agree about the commentary about the financial problems (with symptoms like Facebook IPO and suspect that Facebook hasn't a good future... I mean, Facebook isn't cool at all anymore, especially since advertisements started showing up on their pages).  But, in this artwork, where is Groupon? Oh? That's right; Groupon isn't even important anymore. It's just at $13 right now... Losing over 46% of its value in six months... as I predicted.


Though, with all the recent hoopla about "Fukushima being the end of civilization as we know it," I wonder why it gets a third rate billing under Peak Oil, News Corporation, the Katrina disaster and Lehman...

Facebook is a Failure as a Marketing and Sales Tool - Here's Data!

Marc Sheffner posts an incredibly interesting article at the Searching For Accurate Maps blog about how Facebook is actually a losing proposition when it comes to marketing and promotion. 

Actually, I suspected so. I'm glad Marc put up some real numbers for people to get into.


Please refer to End of Facebook?

Ad Age, a six-week study of Facebook’s Fan pages showed a mere 0.45% of fans engaged in any way beyond clicking “Like.” This indicates that Facebook fan bases and actual engagement aren’t the same thing.

The average engagement for the 10 brands with the largest fan bases (like Harley Davidson, Nike and Porsche) was 0.36%. The highest engagement was in the alcohol category and the lowest in laundry detergent, social platforms and apps.

In other Facebook marketing news, my colleague Brian Croner reports that “world famous Sun Valley Ski Resort here in Idaho, invested their entire $950,000 ad budget in Facebook advertising in 2011 and it bombed. It bombed so bad in fact, they fired their marketing director. Last year they had more snow than they knew what to do with and still couldn’t pack the hotels after using FB exclusively.

Read more at Accurate Maps. 


Looking at how badly Groupon is dropping, refer to Groupon Shares Fall Off a Cliff, Down 42% Since IPO, Facebook had better IPO as soon as possible because I suspect that the actual value of these social networks could be close to zero. I already know that Facebook is losing money. 


Don't forget that, just a few years ago, Myspace was the King of Social Networks... Today? They closed their office in Japan last month.


Could Facebook be a few years behind Myspace?

How to Make Six Figures a Year From Your Linkedin Account - Linkedin Needs More Truth in Advertising - My Linkedin Page is a Big Joke

I have a Linkedin page. I like Linkedin. It's OK, I guess.... Well, sort of. Well, come to think of it. No, I don't. I don't like Linkedin... But read on, this post is about how to earn six-figures from your Linkedin page... 

My (former) Linkedin bio photo

Do you know what Linkedin is? Linkedin is a great place where you can connect with people you don't know or care about and brag about stuff that doesn't really matter. It's kind of like going to a high school reunion where everyone who thought they were hot stuff in school tries to impress everyone else that they are still hot stuff even though they now work part-time as a plumber or are on food stamps!

Heck, nothing wrong with food stamps! Join the crowd! I just got my Obamacard today so I get food stamps too! Hey Linkedin, where do we enter that sort of information on our biographies?

Once again, Mr. Obama has his figures all wrong... It's nearly 46 million strong on food stamps!

I use my Linkedin page as a deadly-serious sandbox and playground for my twisted humor. I put some serious stuff but mostly all sorts of funny comments and that silly photo on my Linkedin bio. One of my friends saw it and said, 

"Mike! You'll never get headhunted with that photo you have with that stupid brown wig on!"

I was offended. I thought I looked impishly handsome. I replied,

"Really? So you think I should have worn the purple wig or the metallic blue one or my platinum blond wig instead?"

See? I really do have all a platinum blond wig and a blue and purple one too!

Maybe the wig is why I have never had anyone call me even once for a job interview after seeing my Linkedin bio!


Speaking of that, I been wondering exactly what the purpose of Linkedin is anyway? I mean, if it is a site to look for a job then that's cool, but what's the point of posting your bio on Linkedin if the only other people who are going to see it are also out of a job and looking for one too? 

Isn't that a contradiction? It's so confusing. 

The best thing about Linkedin is that Linkedin shares are down from IPO almost as much as Groupon shares are! Come on Linkedin! You can do it!

If Linkedin would clarify why we're here, kind of like 

Facebook does, that would clear a lot of confusion.  

Is Linkedin merely a place for unemployed men to be bragging to other unemployed men? Not hardly.

The truth is that Linkedin was designed for the gainfully employed to show their old high school girlfriend (who savagely dumped them just before the big year-end dance) that she made a mistake that she'll always regret because you - and only you - were the one who really loved her most (that b*tch!) When you understand that, then Linkedin makes sense. 

That's why you rarely see girls on Linkedin. They don't go there because they can't really figure out what the point is either (remember they were the ones doing the dumping). Did you know that, by my latest calculations that guys on Linkedin outnumber women by over 25 to 1!!! 

Women can turn it on and off like a faucet... Guys can't. Because so many guys are pissed at old girlfriends that explains why guys who aren't looking for jobs put up braggadocio and their profiles and bio on Linkedin. They do it to show the world (and that b*tch) that they screwed up big time messing with number 1!!!* 

I think Linkedin should have a "reality recommendations" part and, instead of just positive recommendations, it should also have a "condemnations" and "personal attacks" place where real comments about your shady character can be added. Stuff that can't be blocked by the page owner. Real opinions on your work quality and ethics (or lack thereof) like these from your former employers:

"So and so worked here for six months and things went fine until we began to notice huge amounts of toilet paper missing from the restrooms and forks, knives and spoons missing from the employee cafeteria." - Manager

Or, remember your very first job? Working at your dad's company?

"So and so was a totally worthless pile of crap employee. He was the worst putrefying heap of overblown bovine excrement imaginable. All his life he's been useless. Totally night and day difference between him and his extremely successful older brother." - Your father

Now that's what we need! Ask any marketing expert and he'll agree with me! What we need is more truth in advertising! 

Oh? What? Oh yeah...How to make six figures from your Linkedin account? That's right. I almost forgot! Anyone out there know? Because, hell, I haven't a clue... I can't even get anyone to call me for a job interview!

*Don't look now, dude, but she actually married a guy who makes more in a month than you make in a year! He's so rich he ain't even on Linkedin!


Inspired by Jonathan Clemons and Roger Marshall

Thanks for the silly images. Check out my new favorite blog site: The People's Cube. It's kind of like the Onion for Socialists... Pretty funny satire... Especially if you are twisted enough to put a funny photo of yourself on Linkedin.

Groupon Stock Holders! Head For the Exits!

In what, I'm sure will be the second to last post I ever make about Groupon, and how much of a dog company I think it is (the last post will be a "I told you so" when Groupon becomes a penny stock), I'd like to show you Groupon stock performance over the past two days.


Pretty shocking stuff. Especially if you own shares in this company!


On Monday, Nov. 21, 2011. The Dow Jones Industrials (DJI) had a bad day dropping 249 points or -2.1% to finish at 11,454. The NASDAQ Composite Index (IXIC) closed 1.92% lower at 2,529.14. On the other hand, Groupon (GRPN) had an even worse day by dropping almost 10% and another nearly 1% after-hours! See chart:

Today, Tuesday Nov. 22, 2011 (USA time) it wasn't as bad as yesterday's market saw the DJI down 53.59 or -0.49% to finish at 11,493.72. The NASDAQ closed 1.86% lower at 2,521. But! Groupon was one of the top three losers for the day dropping a whopping 3.51 or -14.89% to close at nearly their IPO price. The final closing was 20.07.

Head for the life rafts! If anyone knows where or how they can short GRPN shares, please comment and let us all know. Opportunities of a lifetime, like this one, don't come very often.

As I have written over and over before, a business model built on SPAM mail isn't a good business model at all. They should have built a portal. They should have taken Google's $6 billion dollar offer.

I'll make a prediction here: GRPN stock price will be under $5.00 by December 15, 2012 (maybe $1.00?) So if you want to be stupid and "BUY" then wait for their 60% off Groupon share price coupons! (Or, as Karl Denninger says, "There's crazy and then there's really crazy!") 

UPDATE: Zerohedge writes, "Groupoff - Groupon back to IPO price":

As of this moment, everyone who has bought and held GRPN stock since the IPO price is at best flat, and almost certainly at a massive loss, as only a few banks were allotted shares at the $20.00 offering price, which were quickly flipped to subsequent greater fools. As of this moment, GRPN is back to the IPO price or precisely $20.00. We expect once this is taken out for the one way Grouponzi Red Light Special to fair value, somewhere around $0.00, to take a few months at most.

PS: I have made some really good bucks buying and selling stocks over these 35 years... Actually, only three. I've only ever bought three times. I won big three times. Great opportunities only come once every ten years or so (unless you have insider information) one day soon I will write about these exploits. I found these chances of a lifetime just simply from reading the news. You can too. Sometimes things are just painfully obvious. As a loser, Groupon was one of them.

Had I been able to invest huge money instead of my piddling amounts, on the good ones....I might have been rich!

Or as my wife says:

UPDATE 2: Groupon was the #2 biggest drop on the entire NASDAQ today according to Yahoo Finance:

NEW YORK (AP) -- A look at the 10 biggest percentage decliners on Nasdaq at the close of trading:

School Specialty Inc. fell 26.4 percent to $5.17.

Groupon Inc. fell 14.9 percent to $20.07.

First Clover Leaf Financial Corp. fell 11.6 percent to $5.74.

Viasystems Group fell 10.9 percent to $15.77.

ID Systems Inc. fell 9.7 percent to $5.14.

Mackinac Financial Corp. fell 9.6 percent to $5.00.

Technical Communications Corp. fell 9.6 percent to $7.17.

Forbes Energy Services Ltd. fell 9.2 percent to $5.35.

KIT Digital Inc. fell 9.2 percent to $9.52.

Lihua Intl fell 8.8 percent to $5.36.

UPDATE 3: Another from Zerohedge:

Yet another fatal flaw in GRPN's business model is revealed to the sheeple IPO buyers.

Bakery Burned in Groupon Deal for 102000 Cupcakes

‎ - International Business Times