Places to Visit in Tokyo: The Mansion of General Maresuke Nogi - Japan's model of feudal loyalty, self-sacrifice and suicide.

I was walking from Roppongi to Aoyama itchome station yesterday when I happened upon a home that looked to be at least 150 years old. That's not so unusual in a country as old as Japan. But a few minutes walk from Roppongi station? That was a bit surprising.

General Maresuke Nogi standing in front of his house in Minato ku. 

You can visit this house today. It's still standing there!

I noticed the sign said that the public was welcomed (do not enter the actual home) so I walked into the grounds. It was the former residence and stables of one of the most famous Japanese in history; General Maresuke Nogi. 

You can see that in the above black & white photo of General Nogi at the top of this article, 

he was posing in front of the steps at the front door, standing just next to the right

General Nogi was the Japanese general who lead Japan to victory over the Russians on land in the 1904 - 1905 war that was the first war in history where an Asian country defeated a European nation. That was an event that was most probably instrumental in building Japanese nationalism and the belief, in some circles, that Japan could defeat western nations.

That war was back in the day of the Big Powers and when militarism was pretty much common practice amongst them all and you know the Japanese military were just as hard-core as the next; probably much more so. As a history geek, I've read much about that and admired General Nogi as he was able to pull off that victory over the Russians - especially since the Russians were in defensive positions - it was trench warfare - both sides had "machine-gun type" of weapons - and the Russian troops had outnumbered the Japanese 2 - 1! 

You know, this Big Power mentality started even before the days of Napolean and, unfortunately, in a few nations, still continuing on to this day.

House to the left and statue. Trail heading to where there used to be a well.

Who was General Nogi and what did he do? Why is he so revered in Japan?

Count Nogi Maresuke was a general in the Imperial Japanese Army and, later, a governor of Taiwan. He was one of the commanders during the victory over China in the war of 1894 - 1895. He was the Japanese General in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904 – 1905 who defeated the Russians in a brutal war. 

Satsuma Clan samurai

General Nogi thus became a national hero in Imperial Japan as a model of feudal loyalty and self-sacrifice. He would later become the example of the "dark" Japanese tradition of ritual suicide. In the Satsuma Rebellion, he lost a banner of the emperor in battle, for which he tried to atone with suicidal bravery in order to recapture it, until ordered to stop. 

In the Russo-Japanese War, he captured Port Arthur but he felt that he had lost too many of his soldiers (about 50,000 Japanese soldiers died along with 50,000 Russian troops in a preview of trench warfare for World War I), so General Nogi requested permission to commit suicide, which the emperor refused. 

These two events, as well as his desire not to outlive his master (junshi), motivated his suicide on the day of the funeral of the Emperor Meiji. 

For you folks living here in Tokyo, my wife says that she thinks it is because of General Nogi that an area near Roppongi is called, "Nogizaka" (Nogi hill). Makes sense. 

Trail from home leading down to the garden

I looked up information on General Nogi and the home I was visiting on the "Prominent People of Minato City" webpage. Here's what it says about the home and history of General Maresuke Nogi as a prominent figure from Minato Ku:

Biography 1849-1912.
Military man and army general.
Maresuke Nogi was the third son of Maretsugu Nogi and served in the Boshin War and the Seinan War. After studying in Germany, he took to the field as the Brigade Commander of the 1st Infantry Regiment in the Japanese-Sino War and was the Commander of the 3rd Corps in the Russo-Japanese War.

Nogi shrine is just down the trail behind the house from the street.

Association with Minato City:
From his birth to suicide, his fierce life reflected the times General Nogi, who is referred to as a military man of Meiji, was born in the manor of the daimyo Mori Kainokami of the Chofu clan in Azabu Hidakubo, Edo. His childhood name was Nakito, and he was renamed Marehito as an adult. The grounds of the manor had formerly contained the original “Ubuyu no Ido” (well), where Marehito’s father is said to have poured cold water on the young Nakito, who was crying because of the cold, but in a redevelopment of these grounds it was buried. The grounds of the manor had also contained the bronze statues of General Nogi and Urauri Tsuji, a boy who financially supported his family by selling papers on which was written fortune-telling advice, but they have been moved to the old Nogi Manor. The stone monument that for many years indicated the manor as the birthplace of General Nogi has also been moved, to Sakurazaka Park, which is south of Roppongi Hills. The old Nogi Manor and the stables, which are designated tangible cultural properties of Minato City, are In Akasaka, where Nogi spent his life from 1879. The stables consist of a valuable brick structure, and it is said that the manor was designed by Nogi himself, based on a building of the French army headquarters. Nogi Shrine was built nearby after his death, and the slope in front of the shrine was named Nogizaka. His remains rest in Aoyama Reien (Name of Cemetery).

Breath-taking beauty of old Japan and traditional gardens just 5 minutes walk from Roppongi!

The former residence and stables of General Maresuke Nogi in Minato Ku is a very nice place to visit. You can relive history and see how it was in Japan 120 years ago. As I walked back out the entrance to the huge busy street in front of the home, I could imagine what this place had been once: a small shopping street and there would have been a parade and streamers flying when Nogi returned a national hero after defeating the Russians.

It was the apex, or at least one of them, of Japanese military power and something that indirectly lead to World War II. 

Visit yourself! See what Japan looked like 120 years ago, just a short walk from Roppongi station. Entrance is free! Information below. I think it might be a great quiet place to eat my bento lunch and enjoy the trees, the birds and nature... Right in the middle of Tokyo.

*Birthplace of General Nogi (Roppongi Hills, 6-9 Roppongi) 
*Old Nogi Manor and stables (Nogikoen, 8-11-32 Akasaka) 
*Nogi Shrine (8-11-27 Akasaka) 
*Tomb of Maresuke Nogi (Aoyama Reien, 2-chome Minamiaoyama)
*Map (Sorry, Japanese): http://yahoo.jp/-A5tj9

War is insane and it makes politicians and people do insane things

War is insane and it makes 

politicians and people do insane things.

Military and political leaders makes mistakes,

during war even if these decisions 

seem "right" at the time. 

Innocents suffer.

Whether or not their side was "right" 

or their side was "wrong," 

may all those who died in World War II 

rest in peace.

Sex Pistols Glen Matlock, Neatbeats and More in Tokyo

Glen Matlock, the original bassist for the Sex Pistols was in Tokyo the other day. Glen was kicked out of the band for Sid Vicious back in the day. I figure that's because Glen can actually play and play well! Lots of people don't know this, but Glen wrote the Sex Pistols hit song, "Pretty Vacant." 

First I went to meet Glen at the radio station. Then I went to see him live and make a promotional video for one of his songs. Both events were pretty cool and I'm glad I went.

Glen is a nice guy

I actually did have coffee with Glen... But that's not my coffee...

The video isn't even close to being done yet. I expect to have it within a few weeks.

The Glen Matlock show was a great show. It featured a bunch of really cool Japanese bands. One that was on the bill that really surprised me was the N'Shukugawa Boys. I really like this band. Here is their hit video  "Monogatari ha Chito Fuantei" (I guess that translates into: "The story is a little bit shaky.")

But the band that really impressed me at the entire show was an Osaka band called, "The Neatbeats." Totally faithful sixties beat music and these guys were awesome musicians (as well as being funny as hell!)

Oh, well, yesterday and today it snowed in Tokyo.. The Mainichi Daily News writes: "...the heaviest snow in the Japanese capital since February 1994 and the fourth largest snowfall since World War II..."

This is the most snow I have ever seen in Tokyo in 30+ years of living here

Last year we had the coldest winter in 24 years. This year we have the most snow in 20 years... (and heading for what could be the coldest winter in more than 24 years). Question: This trend points to a what trend?

a) Warming trend
b) Cooling trend

Very Sprite, Alert and Healthy 97 Year Old Guy Gives Tips for a Long Life

I am reposting (slightly altering) this post from March, 21 2013, because this dear man, Yasuyuki Hashimoto, passed away late last night. Thankfully, he wasn't in pain and passed quietly.

Hashimoto san lived to be 97-years-old. He was very spry and alert just up to about 12 weeks ago. Then his health rapidly began to decline. I was very surprised to see how fast it was. 

It just goes to show us all how fleeting the wonders and joys of life can be.

Please read this story of the wonderful man and remember to enjoy and cherish all the wonderful things this short life gives us. Remember to live each day to its fullest. Tomorrow comes too soon.

And now the article....

I have been written a lot about philosophical things like life & death, purpose, respect and dedication as well as choosing a partner well. Today, I'd like to introduce to you a guy who I have met in these last few days that has really blown my mind. I also want to share some of his philosophies on living a long life. I'm sure you will get a smile and a laugh as I did.

IGGY POP - LUST FOR LIFE

I am so glad to introduce you to this fascinating man. You'll be glad you met him too! His name is Yasuyuki Hashimoto and he is 97-years-old. I suppose being 97-years-old is pretty cool but, in Japan, it's not that unusual. The thing amazing about Yasuyuki Hashimoto is that he is 97 and must the one of the brightest, most energetic, alert and healthy 97-year-old folks you'll ever meet... He's totally coherent and he stays in the conversation and is not hard of hearing. 

Yasuyuki Hashimoto 95-years-old  March 2, 2011

Not only that, but Yasuyuki has never been admitted into a hospital in his entire life!!!


Get that? Of course Yasuyuki has visited doctors before, but he has never stayed overnight in a hospital in his entire life. Can you believe that!? Wow! He must be some sort of miracle of science.  


But I guess he's not a miracle of science. Yasuyuki was a guy who worked hard and played hard too! Yasuyuki told me about the old days when he was a salesman for Ishikawa Heavy Industries (IHI) and he said he smoked about 1.5 packs of cigarettes a day and drank to excess nightly.

As a salesman for IHI in the 1950's

"Mike, as you know, in Japan, salesmen must drink with their clients. I was a good salesman so I was drunk often." Yasuyuki said. His 63-year-old son added, "What!? You were drunk every night!" Looking at me the son added, "Sometimes he would pass out in the street and we'd have to carry him home. ."


Yes. Yes. I can relate to that... (Thank god, I don't do that anymore! - Mike) 

"Excuse me, bartender! I'll have what he's drinking!


Anyway, Yasuyuki says he stopped drinking 5 years ago and stopped smoking about 15 years ago.  

Yasuyuki in army uniform looking a lot like 

Erwin Rommel (circa 1942)

I have met many 70-year-olds that weren't half as spry and alert as Yasuyuki is. This guy is simply amazing! Yesterday we had lunch together and we were talking about old times and he was joking about how much he used to like to drink to excess (something that I can definitely relate to). His conversational abilities are incredible.... And I don't mean incredible for his age, I mean, he's glib and funny and tells jokes! 


Wow! I hope that I can be 1/2 as bright and bushy-tailed as Yasuyuki is when I'm 80! In fact, when Yasuyuki was 80 years old, his son told me of a time that his father met a stewardess at a bus stop and wound up with the young lady accompanying him back home. Imagine that! You have an 80-year-old dad who is very peppy, energetic, red-blooded and robust guy showing up back at home with some pretty 30-some year old airlines stewardess! Wow! You can't make this stuff up.


Yeah. When I grow up I want to be just like Yasuyuki Hashimoto!   

Yasuyuki as a junior high school

student circa 1930 (back row - upper right)

Yasuyuki Hashimoto was born in Tokyo in 1916. He went to school in Tokyo and was conscripted into the Imperial Japanese Army immediately after university. During the war, in 1942, he was stationed in Indonesia and say he spent his time enjoying the country and fishing.


There were no big battles in the area his unit was stationed in. He did say, though, that American planes would come snooping around everyday and some of the rascals in his unit wanted to shoot at the plane, but cooler heads prevailed. Yasuyuki and the others knew that if they shot at the plane, the Americans would just come back tomorrow with more planes, so they left them alone (kind of like not whacking a hornet's nest).


He said he and his fellows soldiers would stand around and look at the plane as it flew around. The planes were so close that they could see the pilot's face! They'd stare at the pilot and the pilot would stare back and  then fly away.


This theater of the absurd went on for everyday until the end of the war.

Out with the boys on the field in Indonesia 1942

About the war, I asked Yasuyuki if he and his fellow soldiers believed that the emperor was god? Yasuyuki looked incredulously at me and said, "No! Are you kidding? We weren't that stupid!" We both then howled with laughter.


Yasuyuki has many funny and interesting stories. I wish I could share them all with you.

Student conscripts in front of Mt. Fuji (circa 1940)

I did, though, ask Yasuyuki two important questions. The first was, "What is the secret to long life?"


Yasuyuki answered, "Live a boring, peaceful life." 


That makes sense. It reminds me, once again, of the Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." Yasuyuki's advice fits in well; peace and serenity and quiet and calm; those are the secrets to a long life. 


I think it is good advice. I hope that I can live a boring life someday spending quiet time with my family and fishing and living among nature.

Yasuyuki Hashimoto (back row, third from right)

(circa 1942)

The second question I asked Yasuyuki was, "Do you have any advice for readers as to how to live a happy, peaceful and long life?" 

To this Yasuyuki thought for a moment and said, "No. The best advice I can give anyone is no advice. I don't like it when people are always giving out advice. I have no advice to give."


Think about that, dear readers, isn't that just like Zen Buddhism? In a word, Yasuyuki's advice can be summed up as, "The best advice is no advice!"


Wow! I am taking that to heart. Think about it, folks. It's true!


The best advice is no advice! 


Yasuyuki Hashimoto san! Thank you for everything. May god rest your soul...

And for you reading this, take a moment to be thankful for all you have; give your spouse and kids a hug.

Be happy.

Funny Things Japanese Taxi Drivers Say

I have some Japanese friends who are taxi drivers. They are all cool guys and have a very dry sense of humor.

One guy's name is Takahashi and he has the driest sense of humor you'll ever hear.

One time I was drinking wiht him and he said,

"Okane ga nai kara nomanai" (I don't have any money so I can't drink). "Okane" is money. "Ga nai" means, "I have none." "Nomanai" means "I can't drink." But "Nomanai" sounds very close to "No money." "No - Ma - nai" (No money)... Get it? 

Still don't get it? It's OK. I was there and I didn't get it at first either.

I didn't catch the joke and if you don't speak Japanese, you probably won't. I didn't get it because I am often dumb drunk and didn't realize he was making a play on words.

To the dim, slow or drunk (of which I was all three) It sounds like he is saying, "I have no money so I have no money."... But he is actually saying, "I have no money so I can't drink." It's a play on the sound of the words and mixes English with Japanese....

Anyway, I was riding in a taxi the other day with Takahashi san driving. We were crawling in a traffic jam due to road construction on "Meguro Dori." (Meguro Road). 

Meguro Dori is one of the oldest and most well know roads in Tokyo. I guess it's been there for over 200 years... 

Anyhow, we were driving down Meguro Dori and, SURPRISE! there was a ton of road construction going on! There's always tons of road construction going on on that road!

As we sat there, Takahashi slowly turned around to me, cracked a wry smile and slowly and quite cynically said, 

"World War Two ended 65 years ago but construction on Meguro Dori is still going!" 

I cracked up! It was really funny since, just a few minutes before we were talking about how absurd it is that people, on the one hand, think the government are all dishonest and useless, then, on the other hand, a half second later, claim that we should give more tax monies and power to the government so that they can fix the weather (Global Warming and all that nonsense!)

Ha! The government can't even fix a pothole in the road on time and under budget! How in the hell do people think they can fix the weather? Hilarious!

--------------

Here's a video of some guy riding his motorcycle and getting on Meguro Dori near my house.

‪Japanese Group Calisthenics? The Japanese Identity! One Time Banned Due to Militarism! ‬

The other day, I received a nice email from a writer named Mary who wanted to know the origin of a photo in a previos blog entitled: Very Sprite, Alert and Healthy 97 Year Old Guy Gives Tips for a Long Life. In that post there were photos of Yasuyuki Hashimoto. Hashimoto san was in the Japanese Imperial Army during World War II and Mary contacted me because she was interested in this photo:

It is a photo of Japanese soldiers doing group calisthenics in the field in Indonesian in 1942. That's Yasuyuki in the very front.

I told Mary that the Japanese have been doing this sort of group exercise for a very long time. They do it beginning in childhood and I think it is also a part and parcel of the Japanese identity... It goes on today at schools, corporations and many organizations. It is so ingrained into the Japanese psyche that there are even nationally broadcast TV and radio shows promoting the entire nation to wake up and exercise at the same time everyday of the week!

The radio show, in fact, started as far back as 1928 and is still going strong today. There's not a Japanese in the country that doesn't know the background music to the exercise program.

Screen capture of "Radio Taiso" still on-air today!... And probably forever! 

See? The guys in Indonesia were doing the exact same thing!

Mary mentioned that she thought this sort of group exercising was fascinating and pondered, "If the Americans did this, maybe they wouldn't be so obese?" Well, I don't know about that, but it is a very interesting contrast to the culture of Japan and the west.

As I mentioned, this sort of group calisthenics has been going on in Japan for a very long time. It does remind me of how the Japanese like to do things in groups and as a team... And, heck, what's wrong with that? It did, though, raise the hair on the back of the occupying powers after World War II who banned this broadcast because they thought it was "too militaristic"?!

Maybe Mary is right? What could possibly be wrong with having a nation of people who enjoy exercising together and, even if it is merely peer pressure, having to get off their duffs to exercise? Americans surely could use that, no?

...And, Mary, the most shocking thing about Radio Taiso, I think, was it originated in the United States! Yep. Visiting Japanese businessmen heard it in America and brought it back to Japan! Students of Japanese history know that the Japanese copied and emulated the west and especially the United States because they didn't want Japan colonized like what they saw going on in China and the rest of Asia.

Here's what Wikipedia writes about Radio Taiso:

Rajio taisō were introduced to Japan in 1928 as a commemoration of the coronation of Emperor Hirohito.[1] The idea for radio broadcast calisthenics came from the US, where during the 1920s the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. sponsored 15-minute radio calisthenics in major cities in the US. 

Visiting employees of the Japanese postal insurance division brought samples of the exercises from the US back to Japan.[1] The exercises were widely used to improve the health of Japanese soldiers both at home and abroad during the 1930s and 1940s. The exercises were introduced to several other pacific nations, including Taiwan, Hong Kong and Indonesia during Japan's colonization period.

After Japan's defeat in 1945, the broadcasts were banned by the occupying powers as being too militaristic in nature.

Today's on-air calisthenics include light exercises for the physically handicapped and older folks in an very quickly aging society

After several rewrites to the exercise routine, it was reintroduced by NHK radio in 1951 with the support of the education ministry, health ministry, the Japan Gymnastic Association and the Japan Recreation Association.[1]

Current status

Radio taisō is still used at schools as a warm up for physical education classes, during sports day activities, and by some companies as a way of building morale and a sense of group unity, as well as to raise energy levels and encourage good health.[2]

--------------------------------

This post is dedicated to my friend, 
Mary Cronk Farrell 
Author of books for Children and Young Adults 
www.MaryCronkFarrell.com

The REAL Reason Japan Lost the War! Let the Truth Finally Be Known!

Yesterday, I went to Daikanyama near Shibuya with my friend. Daikanyama is a very high-class shopping area full of boutiques. Of course, because of that, it's always full of beautiful girls and women walking around in high fashions and $700 dollar shoes. Because of this, I knew I had to dress up.

I had on an expensive custom tailored business suit... My friend, Shea, had on a polo-shirt and short pants. I was fashionable. Shea, was, well, frankly speaking, a complete embarrassment and stuck out like a sore thumb... 

Everyone else is running around in winter coats and jackets but my friend Shea looks like he just stepped off the plane from Miami... Come to think of it, he did! (See the lady on the right with the gray coat? She is thinking, "My goodness! Look at that dumb foreigner! It's still winter time!" - (even though it is 65 degrees F!))

As we sat at an outdoor "convenience store cafe" watching the world go by, I spied a couple of foreigners walking on the opposite side of the road. They had a map in their hands and were obviously looking for a building. They walked back and forth a few times, looking at the map, then discussing just where in the heck they were going...

They seemed kind of lost.

Roadside convenience store cafe in Daikanyama

I said, "See those two guys? They're lost. And you know why they are lost?".... Shea just shook his head...

I screamed, "They are lost because the Japanese can't draw a map to save their f*cking lives!..."

Shea laughed. I knew then that I had to finally share the truth with the world about World War II that I have learned from living in Japan. And that's why we're here, dear reader. Move over Smithsonian Institute! Now I am going to relate to the world what I told Shea and that is, I believe, one of the untold true reasons why Japan lost World War II...

Seriously.

But first, some facts about Japan and the Japanese: 

1) Generally speaking, to be politically correct, the Japanese are Cartographically challenged; meaning the Japanese can't draw maps. Nope. They can't. 

If you've ever been to Japan before then you know that, while having a map is better than not having a map, when you are looking for a particular building in Japan, using a Japanese map is a sort of exercise in Zen Buddhism. The map can get you "sort of" close to your destination, but actually finding where you are going will require you to be able to connect with some other-worldly power like Obiwan Kenobi.

"Use the force, young Luke! Use the force!"

Besides using the force, you'll also have to ask several people where the building or address you are seeking is located. In many cases, even if you ask the next-door neighbor, they won't know. 

2) The Japanese (well, at least my wife and all the people I know who live in Tokyo) have a terrible sense of direction. They never know which way is North, South, East... Whatever. They don't have a clue. I haven't been able to figure out why that is exactly but I think it is because Tokyo is such a massively big city with 40 storey buildings in a 360 degree direction all around you. Since the buildings are so high up, there are Tokyoites who have never seen the sun rise their entire lives! (You think I'm joking, but I'm not)... Since these good folks don't normally see the sun rise, nor set, they have no idea which way is East or West. (Unless they go to someplace like Guam - which doesn't matter about directions, because all the Japanese know about Guam is that it is a 3-hour plane ride away to an island and it is warm.)

Since they don't know which way the sun rises, they certainly haven't a clue as to which way is south.

3) In Japan, most roads do not even have names! You know that big road near my house where the buses go up and down on it? You know what its name is? Do you know what it is called? Nope. No one else does either. It is just called (depending on who you are talking to), "That big road near our houses that the buses go up and down on." I'm not making that part up either. In Japan, you have to be a true Zen Master to be able to decipher the craziness of the way roads are set up and what they are to be referred to as. Really. 

4) And, on that issue, besides the roads not having names, since this is such an old country, the cities aren't set up like American cities. In America, the cities and streets are all relatively new (last hundred years or so) and lined up in a grid in rectangular blocks. The streets all have their own names and the blocks are numbered in a logical sequence. You know, "A" street, "B" street, "C" street, etc. with houses numbered in 100 blocks.

In Japan, the cities are hundreds of years old so it is an indecipherable hodge-podge.

So, dear reader, now that you know this information, this brings us to the point of the day and the real issue here: Knowing this information, you now know the truth why the nation that had not lost a war in 2500 years, a nation that hadn't been humbled in battle even once before, lost World War II...

It had to do with addresses, roads and the post office in Japan.

The Real Reason Japan Lost the War!

You see, the longer the war went on, the worst things got. By 1942, things were going very badly for Japan. Japanese forces were spread thinly all throughout Asia. Japan needed all the soldiers they could get. 

All the able bodied guys were drafted and sent off to the front. Now, who were the guys who were probably in the best physical shape back in the 1930's and early 40s? Well, the people who were running around as part of their jobs! That's right! And who had jobs that required them to be physically fit and run around all day, everyday?

The guys working at the Post Office. Of course!

Think about it! Who says this: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"? The US Postal Service does, right? So the guys in Japan say basically the same thing, but, as the Japanese are wont to do, the verbiage comes out a bit different. Here it is:

"Happiness is a loving each mail letter to be the delivery now!"... 

Or something like that.

Anyway, the Japanese postal workers who ran around delivering mail all day were in much better shape than the guys sitting at office desks all day, so the government sent those guys off first to the front to fight in the war. And this caused all sorts of unintended consequences. Sure these ex-postal worker guys were rough and tumble and ready to go for the war effort, but, then who is left to deliver the important mail? Who could possibly decipher the address and the street system for delivering mail on time since the experts were now gone? Who could do these appointed rounds except the postal worker guys with experience who had been doing it for years and years? Nobody. That's who.

You see when US soldiers sent letters back home asking for help, those pieces of mail got delivered correctly, promptly and on time and because a brain-dead chimpanzee can understand the American road and address numbering system. 

But, on the other side of the fence, when the Japanese soldiers wrote letters back home, those letters were now being delivered by confused housewives and replacement postal workers who didn't have a clue as to where anything was located. So whenever a Japanese soldier would write, "Trouble! Help! Send lawyers, guns and money!" then that letter would take an extra 3 or 4 days (more?) to get delivered... 

And, you know, when the shit is hitting the fan at the front, 3 or 4 days is a lifetime.

And now you know the real reason why Japan lost the war.

NOTE: Don't believe me? OK. Take this test and see for yourself. Here is a map of a typical US neighborhood. See? Everything is in a line and the numbers are straight and logical. If you start anywhere and go one street and turn right, then turn right at the next street, then turn right once again, you'll wind up right where you started in the first place....

Next is a map of Harajuku. Chaos. This is typical of Japan's streets... If you start anywhere and go one street and turn right, then turn right at the next street, then turn right once again, you won't be anywhere near you started from; you'll be totally lost and up serious deep-shit creek! Try it yourself! Take the "Mike Test"; start at any point, A, B, C or D. Go up a street and turn right at the first street you come to, repeat... See? You are now totally completely and hopelessly lost... Especially since you can't read any of the road signs!

The good thing about all this, though, is that the Japanese are kind. If you ask them directions, they'll try to help you... Not like these guys:

I love Japan!


To my friend, Shea.