Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Gaijin Gourmet! Ladies! Beware of All Men!

Ladies! Beware of All Men!

Welcome, ladies, once again to another episode of the Gaijin Gourmet ®.

I am here to tell you again to be very careful about men. Not just Handsome Foreign Gentlemen ®, but all men! 

Men are dangerous and not to be trusted!

Why are they dangerous? Well, you can trust me because I am divorced twice and married three times so I know exactly what I am talking about here. 

I am an expert. 

You see, all men have one of at least three problems. Those problems are:

1)    Too much drinking or dallying in other mind altering substances

2)    Gambling too much (and losing all the time)

3)    Running around with other women

Yes. That’s right. If you have a man as your partner right now, then watch out! He most definitely has at least one of these problems right now! I know, because I used to have all three as MY PROBLEM ® all at the same time!

What should you do to make sure your guy doesn’t mess up your relationship with one of these problems? Easy. You have to control all the money and put him on an allowance!

My wife gives me ¥1000 a day (about $10 USD) when I go out to work so I don’t have any money to go gambling, drinking too much or running around with other women! I want to (don’t tell my wife), but since I have no money, I can’t!

Sure, it will be difficult to get your guy to give you all the money every month! Why is it difficult? Because he wants to go gambling and drinking and running around with loose women of extremely questionable moral values too! 

That’s what guys do!

But, you see, it’s better for everyone if you control all the money!

Sooner or later, he will calm down (probably after he finally matures - at around 68-years-old). When us guys get older, we aren’t interested in running around with women anymore. It’s easier, faster and cheaper to just to sit at home and watch pornography… 

That way we don’t have to lie to our wives. Why don't we have to lie to our wives? They already know what we are doing at home all alone while they go shopping! See? They won't bother to ask us, "What did you do all day?" 

They already know the answer to that!

The other reason why it is actually easier for us guys to not have piles of money laying around is that we don’t get ourselves into trouble! Yes. That’s it. 

If the wife is controlling the money, then we don’t have to worry about spending too much or getting into trouble. It’s like being an 8-year-old boy again! Great! Ask your guy when he was happiest in his entire life and he will tell you that he was happiest when he was a little boy. Why? He didn’t have to worry about money and mom took care of everything! When he wanted to buy something, he asked mom and she either said, “Yes!” or “No!” Simple!

Simple is best!

But, there is one thing I should warn you ladies about if you control all the money, that is because when it comes to tax time, it is your job to take care of it.

At my house, when it is tax time and my wife has a mountain of papers and receipts to take care of and she is frustrated and tired, I always say, “Honey! That’s terrible. I wish I could help, but I don’t control the money… By the way, can I have ¥3000 yen (about $30 USD) to go to the local yakitori (BBQ chicken on sticks)? That way I won’t bother you.”

Everyone is happy!

At least I know I am.

And speaking of drinking, did you know that recent research has shown that couples who drink together are happier than couples who do not drink together? That’s right. A study from New York University at Buffalo followed more than 600 couples as they began their new marriages. The couples filled out a questionnaire before their wedding and the same questionnaire after one, two, four, and seven years of marriage. The study found that couples with different drinking habits became dissatisfied with one another more easily than couples who enjoy drinking together!

So, if you want to be happy, then drink with your partner often!

And, if you are controlling the cash, then trust that your guy will consider that you are a great drinking partner... Especially since you are the one with the money, you'll be the one who always pays!

And if you are buying the drinks, then you can bet your bottom dollar, he'll be happy!

You can thank me later! 

NOTE: Did you know that, in Japan, in over 80% of all households, the wife controls the purse strings? This is also, I think, one of the big reasons why divorce rate in Japan is so low (of course there are lots of other factors too; stigma, economic reasons, etc.)


Looking for a great Yakitori restaurant near Futakotamagawa? See:

Gaijin Gourmet! New Delicious Yakitori (Chicken BBQ on Sticks) In Futakotamagawa!

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Top 3 Video Countdown is Up!

Go check out this week's Top 3 video countdown over at the Robot55 blog:

The Top 3 Videos for August 14, 2015! Messer Chups, Sir Psyko, Love Zombies and The Privates!

Here's a teaser:

Messer chups "Go Satan Go"

New Manga: The Obesity Virus Discovered in Japan!

Obesity Virus discovered in Japan. Worldwide Panic Ensues! A tasty and blood curdling tale about the Obesity Virus and how it was invented ...