Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Best Reason Why You Should Own Some Gold and Silver

I am often asked by people, who seem quite skeptical, "Why should I own any gold or silver?"

Here is the best answer I can think of: 

Scenario A: 

Pirate One finds a treasure map. He searches for years and finally finds the treasure. They dig it up and lo and behold, upon opening it, they find millions and millions of dollars worth of paper money bills, checks, bonds, deeds, etc... from a country that ceased to exist a century ago....

Scenario B: 

Pirate Two finds a treasure map. He searches for years and finally finds the treasure. They dig it up and lo and behold, upon opening it, they find millions and millions of dollars worth of diamonds, gold, silver... from a country that ceased to exist a century ago.... 

Question: Which pirate do you want to be?

Think about it: How many countries have ceased to exist in just the last 70 years? I can't name them all:

Just for fun. Here's a list of countries that have disappeared since 1840 or so (there's gotta be more! In fact, Texas was an independent country until 1845 or so!) 
East Germany 
West Germany 
East Pakistan 
Gran Colombia 
Imperial Japan 
Fascist Italy 
Nazi Germany 
New Granada 
Ottoman Empire 
South Vietnam 
Southwest Africa 
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) 
United Arab Republic 
Urjanchai Republic 
Western Samoa 

Monday, August 12, 2013

Groupon Vailiantly Hangs on in Her Fight to Remain Dead!

Groupon? Remember that? (Polite applause and laughter here).

Bwa! Ha! Ha! If we turn our sales charts upside down, we're profitable!

Some guy wrote this humorous letter to me about my bashing of Groupon in Groupon Heads for Bankruptcy. You see, Groupon has been (and still is) a dog stock and company. The other day, Groupon had a whopping 30% share price rise. Amazing!? Who knows in this day and age.?

What caused this rise? Was it a new contract? No. Massive new sales? No. A new fangled technology? Tie-up with Google? Amazon? Disneyland? Nope. Nothing like that. The share price rise was caused by the announcement of a new CEO (to replace the cluster-f*ck former CEO Andrew Mason!) Big deal... 

I have a good question for any of you entertaining the ridiculous notion that this news is all that great. In act, I contend that this news portends and company in a fatal management crisis: Mason left end of February.... Have you EVER heard of a company that fired their CEO and then took almost 6 months to find a replacement? Think about why it took so long to find a replacement and then, they got a founder to do it anyway? I'll tell you what that means; it means that the new CEO didn't want the job either (Been there. Done that) and took it because there WAS NO OTHER CHOICE!

Desperate decisions don't usually become good business decisions, do they?

By the way, I had been saying for months that Andrew Mason ha screws loose. Replacing this guy, like I said, should make any company share price jump. The guy is a complete lunatic. Well, my friends, don't believe me, judge for yourself. See what he's done since he left the company thanks to TechCrunch: Ex-Groupon CEO Andrew Mason Releases Hokey Rock Album To Soundtrack Your Pivot (Review) | TechCrunch

If you’re a tech exec who finds Nickelback a bit too edgy, Groupon’s former CEO Andrew Mason has just released an album for you. Now available on iTunes and Spotify, ”Hardly Workin’” is 80s alternative rock about how to run your startup. I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but, regardless, it will make you laugh, either with or at Mason.

“I was climbing Machu Pichu / As I beheld the splendid view / An idea came for 100 million / Of shareholder value” is the kind of lyrical brilliance you’ll find on Hardly Workin’. Mason moans and croons over generic alternative rock — the kind that wouldn’t make the cut on a Huey Lewis and The News album.

That the shareholder of Groupon finally wised up and fired this guy and replaced him with someone else should make the stock price of any company jump! Groupon is so inept they could only squeeze 30% from a new CEO (and, by the way, the new CEO is a founder who must have been one of the people who voted Mason in as CEO, so consider that!)

Is a 30% jump so incredible these days? I'm not so sure. Check your Tokyo shares prices and see that Value Commerce was up over 20% at 2pm last Thursday (8/8/13) on no news also.

Anyway, this reader (obviously a poor soul who hasn't learned a basic lesson of investing: When a stock is going nowhere, sell it (or avoid it in the first place). .... When its price drops, take profits when your position doubles or close out the position at the best possible time. Take your losses and learn a lesson.

But this guy won't. He has some wild idea that Groupon is going to recover to its $27 dollar price... Excuse me while I wipe the coffee that just came out my nostrils from laughing....

Anyway, just to show how delusional and confused some people are, the reader writes (concerning the 30% price jump): 

Groupon? Oh, but you were so wrong!

Now if they can just do this another... lessee... four times, and they'll be over their IPO price! 

Groupon Shares Make Their Biggest One-Day Jump Ever!

OK. Is this guy a great comedian or is he serious? I think he is joking (I hope he's joking!!!!) Here's how I replied:

Lessee.....From $8.75 to $10.57.... The shares were about $27 at one time (Nov. 2011)... Go ahead, buy GroupOn! The investment of a lifetime, I reckon! You are happy about a 30% jump in one day? You're kidding, right? In that same time (From Nov. 2011 to today), the S&P 500 has jumped more than 144% while Groupon has lost nearly 70%... I highly suggest that you study what qualitative easing should (and does) do to stock prices. 

That the Dow, S&P, etc. are all seeing huge run-ups yet Groupon is still in the doghouse and people crow simply makes former brokers like me just shake their heads... I think the word is "Muppets" is the term people use today.... Lambs to the slaughter. 

Do yourself a favor. Take my advice, sell off your Groupon shares now. Take your losses and learn a lesson. A 30% jump on nothing but news that a new CEO is appointed when the business plan is still built on Email SPAM is a FARCE. 

Expect Groupon share prices to hit their inherent value in the near future: Zero.

Thanks to my friend, James E.!!!!! You are tops!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Japan is the Best Country in the World to Live In! FREE BEER and Cigarettes! Suck it America!!!!!

Seriously. They do this a lot in Japan. That is; hand out free booze and cigarettes to by passers.... I think they used to call this "Service" and "Freebies" in the west until the Nazis took over.

This guy was handing out FREE BEER at the exit of the local grocery store.

He didn't:

1) Ask for my ID
2) Tell me to take off my belt or pass through a metal detector
3) Frisk me
4) Ask who I am
5) Ask where I am going
6) Ask anything...

He just gave me a chilled beer and smiled... Like they should do in a civilized nation (like Japan)...

Idiots will grouse that this doesn't make for a better place to live but that's just rationalization. The Japanese can do this because society here isn't the cluster-F*ck the society is in the USA.

Suck it America! And apologists for the police state that America has become!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Klaus Nomi Reincarnation Home Found in Ota-Ku in Tokyo! World Shocked at Discovery!

A washed up and out-of-work old DJ in Tokyo has made the most startling discovery in years; a house that seems to be the reincarnation of 1980's cult star, Klaus Nomi.

Could it possibly be that the cult star died and returned to earth as a modernist designed home in downtown Tokyo? The evidence points in that direction!

The Klaus Nomi House in Ota Ku Tokyo!

"I was driving along the road when I look over to my right. It was like Lightening striking me!" The man recalled. I turned to my friend and said, "Mate! Blimey! Look at that! It's Klaus Nomi!"

Sure enough, his friend agreed.

Wikipedia says about Klaus Nomi

"Klaus Sperber (January 24, 1944 – August 6, 1983), better known as Klaus Nomi, was a German countertenor noted for his wide vocal range and an unusual, otherworldly stage persona. Nomi was known for his bizarrely visionary theatrical live performances, heavy make-up, unusual costumes, and a highly stylized signature hairdo which flaunted a receding hairline. His songs were equally unusual, ranging from synthesizer-laden interpretations of classical music opera to covers of 1960s pop standards like Chubby Checker's "The Twist" and Lou Christie's "Lightnin' Strikes". 

He is remembered in the US as one of David Bowie's backup singers for a 1979 performance on Saturday Night Live. 

Nomi died in 1983 at the age of 39 as a result of complications from AIDS."

Even in black and white, the resemblance is uncanny!

Upon getting out of his car and taking the above photos, the out-of-work DJ in Japan, who only goes by the name "Mike" said he asked the old Japanese neighbors if they'd ever seen Klaus Nomi hanging around in the neighborhood. They all waved their hands in the air and replied, 

"No English!"

Mike recalled that he was surprised at their response as Nomi was a German and not an Englishman.

When Mike knocked on the door of the Nomi House, there was no one home.

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