Thursday, August 18, 2011

Men Want Cuddling, Women Want Sex

Over my head in stuff to do but come hell or high water, I still want to post something interesting.

Recently, since the Fukushima disaster has really calmed down (hint: don't drink Japanese tea, eat beef or mushrooms) access to core topic blogs, like this one, have really gone down.

Used to be that I could easily hit 8,000 readers a day. Nowadays, I'm averaging about 1,200 ~ 1,400. What a bummer! 

I guess that what people really like are gory tales of nuked earless rabbits or giant jellyfish from the depths of the ocean... They don't really care if the Japanese government is sending us into bankruptcy.

But they also like it if this blog is filled with sexy photos and useless stuff like that that you can find anywhere on the internet. So today, I want to experiment. Yesterday's page views was 1,358. Today, I'm going to do the cheesecake thing again and write about sex in a test to see how many reader I can get today.

Besides that, if I write "Sexy Japanese Babe" in the post title, or use the word "Sex" I can depend on a comfortable number of page views for the day.

I haven't been doing the cheesecake thing recently because, well, "Been there, done that." But today, I will have the word "Sex" in the title and not in the way one would expect it.

Here's an article from UPI that claims that Japanese men show nearly 300% more satisfaction in their relationships than US men do...

UPI Reports:

Study: Japanese Men want cuddling, women want sex.

Middle-age men in Japan report 2.61 times more sexual satisfaction in their relationships, compared with U.S. men, researchers found. 

Could it be that Japanese babes are that much hotter? Let's take a look...
OK. Well, yes. This girl is hot, but I'd like to see more before I decide....(wink,  wink, nudge, nudge he said, knowingly)

Lead author Julia Heiman, director of The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University, and colleagues questioned more than 1,000 couples ages 40-70 from the United States, Brazil, Germany, Japan and Spain, who were either married or living together for a minimum of one year -- but overall the couples were together an average 25 years. The study found Japanese and Brazilian women were more likely than U.S. women to report being satisfied sexually. 

What? Japanese women are more satisfied sexually? What planet are these folks living on? Most of us have completely sexless marriages... Or we have sex once every leap year... 

Oh? I get it. That's right. The Japanese women are satisfied. Completely and totally satisfied. They are so satisfied that they never want to see our faces again!

Hate to brag like the studly guy that I am, but I guess my wife must be completely satisfied too... Always, constantly, forever.

That's why we have sex like once a, once a... Hell, I don't remember when the last time was.... I think Bush was still president the last time we had a little nookie....

Er, I mean the first Bush... The father of dimwit Bush... the guy who was president right after Ronald Reagan.

I can't believe that people come out with these ridiculous surveys and that people read this poppycock and that people like me even bother to post about it....  

Except to post gratuitous cheesecake photos.... Of women and men for the ladies...
After all, I am a fair guy.... And my wife is completely satisfied!


diego.a said...

It may be common in Japan to talk to strangers about your marriage duties in the bedroom. However, Americans really don't like that kind of stuff. Just look at Tiger Woods. Not once did anyone talk about his marital bedroom duties. They only focused on his duties to his mistresses. That's American etiquette right there.

If you want more American readers you should talk more about your mistresses. Invite the paparazzi to post undercover photos and videos. Your ratings will really go up when your wife leaves you a pauper in the divorce proceedings.

That would be a great time to revive the Chi Pass Music Show. (Fire your producer, however. They mis-spelled it as, "Cheap A**ed Music Show".) Get Scot Horton to call in with a daily US rant. Then you can match him with a Japanese rant. Make the show *interactive* by getting disaffected Japanese college students to rant about anything. There must be lots of anger and rage building up nowadays on various hemispheres.

It also helps to copy the Gong Show (the way American Idol did). Bring a lot of untalented jerks who can't sing and laugh at them. People never seem to get tired of that. Have people call-in and come up with witty, non-constructive criticisms.

Everybody wins and has a nice time. Even your neglected, yet highly satisfied wife ;)

Andy "In Japan" said...

Laughing hysterically at this post, between leers. Mike feels bad about how few people look at his blog, he ought to take a look at the stats for my blog (hint: you could count the views each day using the fingers on one hand).

Getting back to the cheesy subject at hand, after having made a close study of the subject material at the recent hanabi taikai matsuri(fireworks show festival) out here in the sticks, I can verify with certainty that Mike is right about Japanese women. They are far more sexy and beautiful than American women.

Now, I have to go and look for the hidden cameras Mike put in our house. How did he know about the nookie once every leap year!

Jimbo said...

"A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more."
Classic Python.

Anyway, post an update and let us know how this little experiment goes. I need more readers too. :)

mikeintokyorogers said...

Guys, here's an update as requested by Jimbo and a few others.... Yappari... I received an extra 100 readers this day after this article.... Not only did this particular article garner more readers, but those readers also read other tabloid "sex" trashy stuff on this blog.

The results? Good. The picture of the girl on the beach? Faaaaaabulous!

Jimbo said...

You know, that evidence might just be rather inconclusive. Just to be sure, you'd better make more posts with pictures of scantily clad Japanese women... for posterity, of course. Maybe a weekly swimsuit edition would work even better.