Saturday, July 22, 2017

"I'm sorry. I made a mistake."


"I'm sorry. I made a mistake." Or;

"I'm sorry. I forgot."

Why is this so difficult for some people to say? 

In recent days, I've had two examples where grown adults have blatantly lied about some (actually unimportant) situation and instead of saying, 

"I'm sorry. I made a mistake." Or;

"I'm sorry. I forgot."

They made up a lie and tried to blame someone else or they committed the lie of omission.

In one case, the perpetrator of this unimportant incident (and it was really unimportant in the wider scheme of things) instead of saying, "Oops. I totally forgot," they went and lied and claimed "I didn't know anything about it. This is the first I've heard of it."

This, after two direct phone calls and a few emails (as well as a history of being, well, not entirely honest, late and blaming others for their mistakes)...

Odd this person claims they didn't know. Seems everyone else knew about it. 

Perhaps the others learned by osmosis? Osmosis is an excellent skill practiced by amoebas and other higher class organisms... Try it sometimes!

In another case, the perpetrator of the lie failed, repeatedly, to give credit for work where credit is due. Actually, it seems this sort of thing happens all the time at the work environment; people not giving others credit for the effort they gave and taking all the credit for themselves. (I suspect that always blaming others for mistakes, yet always taking the credit when things go well isn't a really good way to earn respect and admiration. It most certainly is not the sign of a well-adjusted person or a leader.)

Seriously, why do people do this? 

I learned when I was 10-years-old that people respect you more (and like you more) when you publicly give credit where credit is due and don't lie (especially about stupid stuff that doesn't matter). 

Showing humility, being honest and publicly giving people the accolades they deserve is greatly valued by adults in an adult society (Key word: "adults"). Life is difficult enough as it is without us not recognizing - and acknowledging people for their efforts.

A great leader (and good person) always gives credit where credit is due. People will follow a great leader to the ends of the earth. They won't follow people who lie or vainly try to take all the credit for the work of others.

Also, when someone continually lies or blames others for shortcomings and mistakes (and they happen repeatedly), people get disappointed and lose respect for the perpetrator.

In both cases, people lose respect for the perpetrator of the lie.

I must admit that, while I do like these people and respect what they do, I have lost much respect for their actions.

I'm not mad... 

It's just disappointing.

---------------

NOTES: I pretty much can predict that if the people I refer to in the above scribble did read this, they would fail to recognize themselves. I don't dislike these people. I like them... I do, though, feel despair and a sort of pity for them. But, then again, no one is perfect. As the great writer C.S. Lewis once wrote: "Life is difficult, so let's be good to each other."


NOTE TWO: May I recommend a book that changed my life?

F. Scott Peck: The Road Less Traveled, Timeless Edition: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth (http://amzn.to/2uj5nRm)

Amazon writes: "Perhaps no book in this generation has had a more profound impact on our intellectual and spiritual lives than The Road Less Traveled. With sales of more than seven million copies in the United States and Canada, and translations into more than twenty-three languages, it has made publishing history, with more than ten years on the New York Times bestseller list. Written in a voice that is timeless in its message of understanding, The Road Less Traveled continues to help us explore the very nature of loving relationships and leads us toward a new serenity and fullness of life. It helps us learn how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become a more sensitive parent; and ultimately how to become one’s own true self. Recognizing that, as in the famous opening line of his book, “Life is difficult” and that the journey to spiritual growth is a long one, Dr. Peck never bullies his readers, but rather guides them gently through the hard and often painful process of change toward a higher level of self-understanding."





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