Guys Don't Play With Dolls, Figurines, Gi-Joe or $1250 Punk Barbies

(A blast from the past...)

Playing with dolls is for little girls. Collecting ridiculously expensive dolls is for collectors (preferably rich women or antique dealers). My ex-wife collected porcelain Barbie dolls and some of those were way over $1000 a piece. I'm sure she still has many of them. 

Being a guy, I'm not really into dolls. Funny that. Even when I was a kid I didn't much care for dolls. I remember in the mid-sixties when the first GI-Joe dolls came out, my parents bought me one. I think I liked it when I first saw it. But when I opened the box, I thought, 

"Gee, mom, dad, what am I supposed to do with it?" I didn't really think dressing and undressing a male doll in uniform was all that fun. 

I think I set the GI-Joe on fire in a realistic reenactment of the Battle of the Bulge... I often set my toys on fire when I was a kid.

In the last 20 years or so, playing with dolls has come back into fashion for some guys. Though they won't call them dolls. They are called "figurines." Call them what you want, they are still dolls.

One time, I went to a friends house and in his room, he had all sorts of these figurines lined up at the head of his bedroom wall. They were things like Star Wars' Darth Vader, R2D2, Luke Skywalker, Star Troopers, etc. You get the picture.

He said to me, "Mike! Do you like my figurines? Aren't they cool?" 

I ribbed him back when I said, "Yeah. Real cool. I think I stopped playing with dolls when I was 6 years old."

"They are not dolls! They are figurines!" He protested.

"Yeah. Whatever..."  

That reminds of my second daughter, Sheena. When Sheena was about 6 or 7, Ren & Stimpy was on TV. I loved that cartoon. On Ren & Stimpy, they had a fake commercial for a toy called, "Log." Log was just as the name said it was; it was a piece of wood. Since I watched Ren & Stimpy religiously, my kids watched it too.

Never underestimate the power of TV on a child's mind. That's why it is so bad and dangerous.

WATCH THIS FAKE COMMERCIAL FOR LOG FROM 

THE CARTOON REN & STIMPY

One time, after the commercial for Log came on, my daughter said, "Daddy! I want one!" I was so surprised. "Are you kidding me?" I thought. I decided then, that I should use that opportunity to teach her a lesson about life and about BS on TV.

Soon after it was her birthday so I went to Tokyu Hands Department store and bought a piece of wood that looked like Log, wrapped it up and gave it to her for her birthday. She was so happy to get it. After opening the package, she said to me with wide eyes full of bewilderment, "Daddy? How do you play with it?" I sang the song:

What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, and over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, And fits on your back? It's log, log, log It's log, it's log, It's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good." Everyone wants a log You're gonna love it, log Come on and get your log Everyone needs a log log log log *whistle* LOG FROM BLAMMO

I think she was so disappointed. Of course, I had also predicted that she would be so I had bought her some other presents that I can't remember.... Funny that... I'm sure that neither can she... But I bet we both remember Log. 

Now there's a new doll in town that's making noise. Well, she's not new. She's old. It's Barbie. But this time, she has tattoos and is, er, well, ostensibly "Punk." Yeah. "Punk" as in "Punk Barbie." How could Barbie be punk, you ask? Well, easy. Just imagine if Paris Hilton decided that she'd go punk for the evening and there you have it... Punk Barbie is about as punk as Lady Gaga or Boy George...

My one word review: "No!"

Punk Barbie is causing a fuss amongst parents who actually think their little snowflake will run out and get a tattoo just because their Barbie doll has them... 

In an article from the New York Daily News some candidates for Parent of the Year were appalled and quoted as saying,

"I'd kill my daughter if she came home with a tattoo," said Tom Gurry, 43, of Rego Park, Queens, who has an 11-year-old.

"Barbie's supposed to be a role model for young girls, right? I don't want my daughter looking up to someone like that."

Another contestant parent said,

"I don't think that's an appropriate toy for a young girl," she said. "You don't want your kids to think tattoos are a good idea at such a young age because they last a lifetime."

Tiffany Newkirk, 51, said her 17-year-old daughter has been pestering her for permission to get tattooed.

Gee... I'd hope that, at 17, Barbie wouldn't be such a great influence on your dumb kids... Hopefully they can get good influences from wholesome things like MTV, American Idol, and their dimwit parents....Can you imagine your five-year-old with an awesome spiderweb on her neck, dragons on her arms, and three nose rings? Kewl!

These same parents who are complaining about Punk Barbie are the types who will complain later on, when their daughter is 16, drops out of school, and really does get tattoos an her neck and face that "...it was all Barbie's fault!" Yeah. Your kids being all f**ked up couldn't possibly be the result of being spoiled to death by idiot parents.   

But why listen to me? Let's hear what a real punk says. What about it Ryan Cooper at About.com Punk Music? Ryan says:

I think it stands to reason that if the Barbie you gave your daughter is the biggest influence on her life, you might need to look more closely at who the parent is. Barbie may be the president, and an astronaut, and a doctor, and a race car driver, but the last time I checked, she's not a mother.

So if she's the primary influence on your daughter's sense of ideals and fashion, you might want to kick her out of her dream house and on to the curb.

Or you could just leave Barbie alone.

And you be the parent instead.

Punk Barbie sold for $50 at retail, but they are all sold out (Go figure!) Now, according to Ryan, they are selling on E-Bay for $100.

So, Ryan, you think that's bad? Hell, in Japan, Punk Barbie is selling for over $1,250.00! (USD!)

¥98,000 Japanese yen is $1252.56 

Hopefully my kids won't have their lifestyles and fashions influenced by Barbie... But then, again, if they can afford more than $1,250 for a Godd*mn doll, then I guess they are adult enough to know what they want to do...

I won't make any comments about whether Ken likes boys more than girls, let's just say that Ken is not the "marrying type" (or, shall, I say that he probably won't be getting married at a Catholic church anytime soon.)

So, I won't say anything, unless, of course, my daughters bring Ken home one day and say they want to get married to him. That's when daddy puts his foot down!

You know why? Guys don't play with dolls.

Japanese Culture Magazine, "Saiko" Features A Japanese Rock N Roll Ghost Story!

The well known magazine about Japanese culture, "Saiko" has an article featuring A Japanese Rock 'n' Roll Ghost Story. 

Saiko magazine is described as, "SAIKO Magazine is a cosplay magazine that features Conventions, Cosplayers, Games, Anime/Manga, Anime Communities, Interviews, and Voice Acting!" (Go "Like" their Facebook page here.)

The zine is run by Japanologist Daniel Grunebaum. 

Here's the link to the story. Please check it! (http://www.saiko.co/ghostroads-a-japanese-rock-n-roll-ghost-story/)

Japanese Rock n Roll Ghost Story, Neatbeats, ROBOT55, The 50 Kaitenz, The Privates

Go directly to the English Crowdfunding page here: https://www.makuake.com/en/project/rock/

A Japanese Rock N Roll Ghost Story movie now has a Facebook Page. Please come and "Like" Our page! https://www.facebook.com/Japaneserocknrollghost?ref=hl

To read more about the movie, please refer to: A Japanese Rock ‘n’ Roll Ghost Story – The Team and the Story robot55.jp/blog/a-japanese-rock-n-roll-ghost-story-the-team-and-the-story/

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I Think Newsweek Has the Wrong Guy With This Satoshi Nakamoto.... Here's Why...

(This blog post was inspired by: Is Bitcoin Legal? Illegal? a Currency? a Commodity?)

I read the Newsweek article concerning "discovering" Satoshi Nakamoto the inventor of Bitcoin... I also chuckled out loud when I read Newsweek's rebuttal about this Nakamoto guy's denial. It reads:

"Newsweek stands strongly behind Ms. Goodman and her article. Ms. Goodman’s reporting was motivated by a search for the truth surrounding a major business story, absent any other agenda. The facts as reported point toward Mr. Nakamoto’s role in the founding of Bitcoin." 

As a long time Japan resident, Japanophile, and all around half-Japanese born geek and well studied in Japanese history, I can tell you that when I read the first Newsweek article, "Discovering Nakamoto," I was fascinated too... 

Until, halfway through the article, I hit one sentence...

The sentence read: "Descended from Samurai and the son of a Buddhist priest, Nakamoto was born in July 1949 in the city of Beppu, Japan, where he was brought up poor in the Buddhist tradition by his mother, Akiko." 

I immediately stopped reading it right there because it lost all credibility at that point. Why? The "descended from Samurai" sentence defies belief. 

In the 80s I worked under a guy named Hasegawa who was a Japanese historian. I will never forgot the day when he showed me an English textbook, written by a caucasian American, that said, "Japan's economic recovery was due to hard working Japanese. The Japanese received their work ethic from their samurai ancestors."

Hasegawa threw the book down, scoffed and said, "Ridiculous. This is western romanticist fantasy that Japanese have samurai ancestors. No one has samurai ancestors! Absurd!"

After that, I began to look into it and, indeed, the numbers of people in this country who came from families who were samurai you can count on ten toes; they are basically non-existent because most samurai were too poor to marry and, in a class society, you generally marry within your social strata. That would mean that, generally speaking, samurai who married would have married the daughters of other samurai... (They certainly wouldn't marry the peasant class which was 98% of the population.)

I already mentioned that most samurai couldn't afford to marry. (At the peak of the samurai warrior class (about 1598) there weren't a few hundred thousand of them in total...) 
(See: http://www.alljapan1.com/counter/index.php?cat=175)

Sure, that doesn't dispute the entire Newsweek story, but that's not my point. 

Realistically speaking, it doesn't compute... The odds of this guy, Nakamoto, being the Bitcoin brain AND having samurai ancestors would be akin to, say, Steve Jobs being directly descended from George Washington or Benjamin Franklin... Or even worse odds than that as most of the samurai disappeared 400+ years ago. Yeah, I know... It's anal-retentive (I'm that way often)...But stuff like that bothers me... That this is in this article throws into question the entire credibility of the source of this information for this story.

It sounds like the fantasy script for a samurai anime about Japan, where the good guy, a "Son-of-samurai," against all odds, fights the bad guys... What? Is this the script for next Disney produced Star-Wars movie? 

Then when people say this is Newsweek article is "investigative reporting" I roll my eyes... Yes, I do have a problem with that... This sounds more like hype, promotion or simply trying to sell magazines (by the way, that issue of Newsweek was its triumphant return to the news racks....)

You can't make this shit up!.... Well, I take that back... You actually can!

I think this is just another farce that works to discredit Bitcoin... Not that it needs help in that department with recent news.... I also think this will make Newsweek and print media even more of a laughing stock than it already is.

This samurai business makes me extremely skeptical of this entire story.

The inventor of Bitcoin, being one guy, and actually Japanese with samurai ancestors is too fantastic to be true.... Hell, if he is a Japanese, he has a higher chance of being a relative to the inventor of Poke-Mon than having "samurai ancestors."

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This article inspired by my friends Peter Tilley (Bitcoin expert) and Mish Shedlock over at Mish's Global Economic Trend Analysis http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.jp/

Happy Mother's Day! "Pendulum - Tekken" Wonderful 3 Minute Animation and a Song for Mom!

It's Mother's Day in Japan. Everyone! Call your mother and tell her just how much you appreciate her and all she's done for you. Tell her you love her.

After that, hug your spouse and kids!

They (and you) won't be here forever!

My dear friend Ken Nishikawa sent me this wonderful short animation of life in Japan. 

The story shows a pendulum in a clock swinging back and forth as it goes through the life of a young man and woman who meet in high school then grow up, get married, have a family then die. It is very touching. Enjoy!

Also, I'd like to play you what I think is the best Mother's Day song (perhaps the only one) ever made.

I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom who will let me, whatever.
I want a mom to take my hand,
and make me feel like a holiday.
A mom to tuck me in at night,
and chase the monsters away.
I want a mom to read me stories,
and sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream,
To hold me when I cry.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
And when she says to me, she will always be there,
To watch and protect me, I don't have to be scared.
Oh, and when she says to me, I will always love you,
I won't need to worry, cause I'll know that it's true.
I want a mom when I get lonely,
and take the time to play.
A mom who can be a friend,
and find a rainbow when it's gray.
I want a mom to read me stories,
and sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream,
To hold me when I cry.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.

My mom died in a bizarre car accident 17 years ago. One day she was here, the next second, she was gone. 

Everyone! Appreciate the wonderful woman god gave you! I miss you mom!

Free Sunday Japanese Cinema! Destroy All Monsters! The Cinema of Ishiro Honda...

Ishiro Honda was the guy, depending on who you talk to, that destroyed Japanese cinema or made Japanese cinema world famous...

I think he helped make Japanese cinema crappy, but then again, when I was a kid, I liked Mothra and Godzilla movies (the early ones that Ishiro Honda directed). I remember watching the classic, "Destroy all Monsters" and being terrified at the scary woman who wanted to take over the earth! 


I also recognize that without Ishiro Honda, Japanese pop culture most probably wouldn't be what it is today. 

No matter what you think - good or bad - I do believe that there is an evolutionary line between Honda's work and, say, today's more fantastic Japanese anime or even Hatsune Miku. Honda was definitely influential on Japanese pop culture.

A book about Honda came out a while back celebrating his life and works. The book is called "Mushrooms Clouds and Mushroom Men - The Fantastic Cinema of Ishiro Honda."

The press release reads: 

For the first time in America, a book has been published on Japan's foremost director of Fantasy Films: MUSHROOM CLOUDS AND MUSHROOM MEN – The Fantastic Cinema of Ishiro Honda.

Known primarily for directing such classic Japanese monster movies as Rodan, Mothra, Attack of the Mushroom People and the original Godzilla, Honda has been a much-overlooked figure in mainstream international cinema.

MUSHROOM CLOUDS AND MUSHROOM MEN is the first book to cover in English print Honda’s life as well comprehensively evaluates all 25 of his fantasy films.  It is also gives objective and critical analysis of Honda's filmmaking methods, themes and relationships with actors and technicians.

The book looks like an interesting read if you want to know who to blame, or thank, for today's Japanese "camp" or Anime.


And for your viewing pleasure, here's the trailer from the 1968 "Destroy All Monsters"

DOUBLE CLICK FOR FULL SCREEN!

DOUBLE CLICK FOR FULL SCREEN!

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KEYWORDS: Ishiro Honda, Mike Rogers, Godzilla, Hatsune Miku, Mike in Tokyo Rogers, Japanese cinema, Japanese anime, Mothra, Destroy all Monsters, Mushroom Clouds and Mushroom Men, Peter H. Brothers, Marketing Japan, Japan, Tokyo

Cool & Strange Music: Japanese Animation "Mach Baron!"

Ken Nishikawa, always on the lookout for cool stuff, send this along to me. Ken writes,  "Cool theme tune from 70's Japanese TV robot programme called "Mach Baron"!" これは本物のRock & Roll!

Wikipedia says:

Super Robot Mach Baron (スーパーロボット マッハバロン Sūpā Robotto Mahha Baron) is a Japanese tokusatsu series that aired from October 7, 1974, to March 31, 1975. It was a sequel to Super Robot Red Baron.

Somewhere in Asia, the series was adapted into a 86 minute feature film which used footage from the original series. That movie was also released in Spain (under the title "Mazinger Z - El robot de las estrellas") and Germany ("Roboter der Sterne").

Thanks Ken! If Ken's name sounds familiar to some readers, it's because Ken and I often make music videos and documentaries together.

We just finished the newest promotional video for Shonen Knife, "Ghost Train":

Pretty Cool, Moving Gif, Eh?

Found this on a Japanese music site called Qetic. Thought it was a cool moving gif and very cool graphics from Japan. Just a short time waster on a Saturday night.

CLICK THE IMAGE TO SEE IT MOVE

This actually has rhythm too. Some Japanese artists really make some great stuff - especially when it comes to animation type of things. 

Japan WWII Anime: Momotaro's Divine Sea Warriors

Once again, I'd like to present for your pleasure and interest a Japanese World War II cartoon. I showed a clip from this cartoon in Holy Sh*t! World War Two Japanese Propaganda Anime of the Attack on Pearl Harbor. That was a very popular blog post, so I searched and found an entire feature length cartoon.

The cartoon is not nearly as bloody and gutsy as American anime at the time, but you can sense the subtleties of the Japanese mindset and just how "dark" a society Japan really was at the time (I still think, in many ways, Japan is a very "dark" country... But that's a post for another time).


The cartoon is Momotaro's Divine Sea Warriors. In Japanese: 桃太郎 海の神兵（ももたろう うみのしんぺい）"Momotaro Umi no shinpei." Interestingly, there's an entire Wikipedia entry in English no less (saves me a lot of work!)


Wikipedia says:

Momotarō: Umi no Shinpei (桃太郎 海の神兵, lit. Momotaro's Gods-Blessed Sea Warriors or Momotaro, Sacred Sailors) is the first Japanese feature-length animated film.[3] It was directed by Mitsuyo Seo, who was ordered to make a propaganda film for the war by the Japanese Naval Ministry. Shochiku Moving Picture Laboratory shot the 74-minute film in 1944 and screened it on April 12, 1945. It is a sequel to Momotarō no Umiwashi, a 37-minute film released in 1943 by the same director. It is black and white.

Plot: After completing naval training, a bear cub, a monkey, a pheasant, and a puppy say goodbye to their families. Like the prior film, the movie features the "Peach Boy" character of Japanese folklore. The film is about the surprise maneuver on Sulawesi island, depicting parachute troops' actions. The monkey, puppy and bear cub are the ones that become parachute jumpers while the pheasant becomes a pilot. The whole movie also depicts the Japanese "liberation of Asia", as proclaimed by the Government at the time.

There are some musical scenes. Of note is The Song of AIUEO (アイウエオの歌AIUEO no Uta), a scene where Japanese soldiers teach local animals how to speak.

Background: The Naval Ministry previously showed Seo Fantasia, a 1940 Disney film. Inspired by this, Seo tried to give dreams to children, as well as to instill the hope for peace, just as he did in the prequel movie, Momotaro's Sea Eagles.

The Song of AIUEO (アイウエオの歌 AIUEO no Uta) is famous for being given a homage in the series Kimba the White Lion (ジャングル大帝 Janguru Taitei) by Osamu Tezuka (Tezuka watched the film in April 1945. He later said that he was moved to tears by the movie's hints of dreams and hopes, hidden under the appearance of war propaganda).

For a long time, the film was presumed to have been confiscated and burnt by the American occupation. However, a negative copy of the film was found in Shochiku's Ofuna warehouse in 1983 and was re released in 1984. A reproduced movie was later screened and the VHS package is now available in Japan.

So, without further ado, here is the cartoon Momotaro's Divine Sea Warriors in it's entirety (parts 1/9 to 9/9). I placed them all here for your convenience so you wouldn't have to search for them.


If you just want to get the gist of the film, I suggest watching the first part and the very last part... The lunacy of war. Why do we do this?

By the way, the foreign soldiers in the final scene are British and not Americans... But the very last scene where the Japanese kids are jumping out of a tree onto a map of the USA drawn on the ground is, quite, well, "interesting." 

Holy Sh*t! World War Two Japanese Propaganda Anime of Attack on Pearl Harbor!

Yesterday's blog was extremely, er, "popular"... Actually, I posted about this sort of stuff on this blog long ago when this blog was just in infancy, but at those times, I guess I only had 5 readers (4 of those being my family). 

This brings me to being able to coin a new word in the blogosphere. And that word is "Blag." "Blag" means a blog post that brags. OK? So I brag that I have made a new term because I am so fricking superior that I can show you stupid white imperialist trash just how superior our Japanese air-forces are to your corrupt Rooseveltian power-hungry scum are. Damn! I'm great!


Also just how cool and suave and debonair I am because I have come up with new terminology.


Anyhow, here's another cool Japanese anti-American anime is that I want to introduce to you uncultured foreign savages....


From Youtube (especially watch from 1:00 in the video...) Ha! Ha! Ha! We bomb Pearl Harbor in Momotaro's Sea Eagles and kick some serious American butt!) Die! Die! Die! Amerikanischer Swine!: 


Momotaro's Sea Eagles

American cartoons weren't afraid of stereotypes during World War II; Popeye and Bugs Bunny battled racist visions of Japanese soldiers, and one can easily guess why the short "Tokio Jokio" wasn't part of regularLooney Tunes TV rotation. Of course, Japan had its own school of WWII cartoon propaganda, and the most famous are Momotaro's Sea Eagles and its sequel, the first feature-length Japanese cartoon, Momotaro's Divine Warriors.

Unlike the slapstick of Popeye shorts, the Momotaro cartoons are relatively serious children's films in which Prince Momotaro and his cuddly animal friends don sailor suits and bomb Pearl Harbor. Well, they don't actually say it's Pearl Harbor, but Momotaro's Sea Eagles glorifies its heroes' attack on the ogres and other vicious foreign devils of Onigashima. Momotaro's Divine Warriors tells much the same story, but with even more scenes of cute little bears and squirrels and monkeys crowding into realistic airplanes and parachuting down to slay their racial inferiors.




Momotaro's Divine Warriors isn't available on DVD in North America, but Momotaro's Sea Eagles is. Zakka Films released it as part of a "Roots of Japanese Anime" collection, along with less offensive animated works. Historical value aside, the film is both insidious and surreal, like a Funny Little Bunnies version of Triumph of the Will.