Kill Your Child... Commit Suicide? It Has Happened Again....

I've never considered killing my child. But, I did consider committing suicide - many times. In fact, when my third daughter was stricken with cancer at the age of one and one half years old, I prayed to god to kill me and heal her. 


I would have traded my life for her health in a moment.


Alas, some prayers are not answered.


There are a very many parents with handicapped or extremely ill children. I think it might be natural that these parents want to kill themselves; I can't imagine that the thought of killing themselves never crosses their mind. Like I said, I've never considered killing my child, but killing myself if it could possibly make things better? Of course... In a flash.


Once again, in Japan, another parent of a handicapped darling child, innocent to the world, has killed their child and attempted suicide. The murder of the child was, unfortunately successful. The suicide attempt was a failure.


Japan Today reports in Man attempts suicide after apparently hanging disabled daughter in public restroom:

Police said Monday that a man was found bleeding from his abdomen and his daughter hanged in a public restroom in Fujisawa, Kanagawa Prefecture.

According to police, the 54-year-old man, who has been named as Ikuro Kenmochi, was seriously injured and his disabled daughter, 9-year-old Saki, was dead when they were discovered in the restroom in Oba Castle Park shortly after 11 a.m. Sunday, Fuji TV reported.

Police believe Kenmochi attempted to commit suicide by cutting open his abdomen after hanging his daughter. Investigators said that Kenmochi sent an email to his wife shortly before the incident in which he told her he was worried about their daughter’s future, Fuji reported.

As always, with this sort of thing, many people have their opinions. Unfortunately, as with most things, judging from the comments section of the original article, the average opinion is benighted, to say the least.

I am greatly saddened for the child and the family. I feel for their pain and suffering. Of course, I don't know exactly what they went through, but I know what it is like to have to face the guilt that I might be responsible for ruining someones life and the fear for that poor, innocent person's future. I know what raising a handicapped child involves.

The comment section of this article, though, is filled with the usual noise and foolish inexperience of people who would do much better to keep their ignorant comments to themselves. 

The typical response was something like this:

"Poor child. Instead of caring about her, he was only thinking about himself."

Astounding. Yeah. For one, we don't know what went on with this child and the handicap. But we do know that the father and the child's mother cared for her for nearly ten years. We also do not know the condition of neither father and mother. As if those who would criticize the father would know about the guilt and suffering this man felt and the difficulty this child and the family went through over this last nearly decade.


Who can judge if this man hadn't gone insane or was at the end of his tether? 

Though there was, though, one intelligent comment... I could tell by this comment that the person who wrote it has experienced first-hand something like the tragedy of a handicapped loved one. They wrote:

"Poor child. Instead of caring about her, he was only thinking about himself."?...

That's a pretty bold statement from somebody who (I assume) knew neither the man or the girl in question. There's a saying about walking a mile in someones shoes before criticising them....

Yes. Walk a mile in a man's shoes. 

Wendy Rogers at 14... Now she's 18-years-old

We all need to consider this wise old statement (me too!) more before we criticize people.... Especially when it comes to pain and human suffering.

I've written about my own experiences here:

Wishing, Hoping, Believing

"Who are you to make such claims?" Complaints Bloggers (I) Receive

I hope that you and your loved ones never have to go through this. I pray that I don't have to again. To tell the truth, I don't know how I survived the first time...

At Narita Temple on 05/05/12

I'm glad I did. My daughter and I spent a wonderful day at Narita Temple a few weeks ago.

Finally, in my daily notes (Please refer to: How I Became a Kind and Patient Father and You Can Too!), here is one of the top 5 things I write everyday:

"Thank you God for all the wonderful things I have and am about to receive."

You folks have a wonderful day. And thank God for the wonderful things you have... For many of us do not realize just how good we have it right now.

The Child of Domestic Violence

This is a very difficult post to write and it makes me sad that I feel I must...


Someone needs to speak the truth. Because this sickness has struck again and another small child lay dead. I wrote about the child the other day. Now I know what happened. There is a sickness that happens behind closed doors of what seems like everyday, happy, healthy homes. This sickness is truly evil and it is called Domestic Violence.

ELVIS COSTELLO - BOY WITH A PROBLEM

The children of these homes live in suffering and their victim parents live in total fear. Fear for their safety, fear for their sanity, fear for their lives and the lives of their children.


The children of the homes of domestic violence go to school and see friends. They try to forget.


I know. I witnessed it only two or three times when I was a child. But it was ugly and quite frightening when I did. I thought he was going to kill my mother once. I am ashamed to admit that one time, when I was a 5th or 6th grader, my brothers took up baseball bats and threatened him. We said, "We don't want to do this, but if you hit mom, we will hit you back." 


Thank god, he calmed down and backed down.


I never witnessed domestic violence from my father ever again.


I am even more ashamed to admit that, in my first marriage, I repeated the evil. When I was having an affair with another woman, I was so ashamed of myself and so frustrated with my life, and so confused, that I committed domestic violence against my then beautiful wife. This went on for a year or two. I was completely mad, sick and out of my mind.


She didn't deserve that from me. I went blind and hit her. From then on, I committed domestic violence, on and off, of the sometimes physical, but mostly the psychological kind. She became sick and depressed. I pushed her away. She ran to someone else.


We wound up getting a divorce... to my regret.


I went to seek psychological help, for the divorce and many other things. My life was a mess of my own making. With help, I never committed domestic violence ever again. That was nearly two decades ago. It's too bad that, after the cows have already left the barn, we often decide then, when it is already too late, to do something about the broken door.


Please, dear God, forgive me for what I did and help me to be a better person. Please, my daughters, forgive me for the unhappy childhood I gave you. 


Oh, how many other children must suffer for this domestic violence? Why does this domestic violence rear its ugly head and ruin the lives and childhoods of so many seemingly happy and normal children?


If the children survive, in many cases, they grow up to repeat the errors of the parents and the vicious circle of domestic violence continues.


Some children, though, do not survive. 


In Japan, some mothers are pushed to the limits so far that they take their lives and the lives of their children. Of course, the monsters living inside of those committing domestic violence can never imagine that the wives would ever conceive of double suicide, but they can.... And they do.   


Domestic violence. It happens way too often. Husbands beat their wives physically or mentally. They push these women to the limit of their wits.


Then then women break. They come to where they can't take it anymore.


In Japanese society, there's nowhere for these women to turn.


They confide in their closest friends, but that's all. This domestic violence is a shameful thing in Japanese society. But the friends all talk in hushed tones....


When it gets too bad, then the talk turns to divorce... The laws have recently changed... Wives no longer have the trump card for child custody. Nightly, they fear for their lives and the lives of their children.

The husband is the breadwinner. The wife goes into depression. She seeks professional help. The husband, the cause of this malady, whistles along on his merry way acting as if there's nothing the matter. Then, at court, the husband can tout his wife as having "mental problems."


The only people who know the truth are the husband (if he realizes the extent of his evil and his illness), the wife (and a few very close friends) and the children.


Sure, the wife has mental problems. Wouldn't you? Who wouldn't have mental problems if their partner abused them both physically and mentally over and over on and on for an extended period of time?


The abuse continues... It's occurrence is unpredictable... Does he do it because he having and affair? Or is it stress? Or is it a hatred of himself? Or just because he is mentally sick and abusive? Who knows?


The wife has nowhere to turn.


She loses her mind. Sick, is she. There's no doubt.


So sick that, one night, she goes so crazy that she kills her child. She then attempts suicide... She succeeds with the child, fails with herself.


The husband then later proclaims to the world that he "doesn't blame her for this tragic case, she is mentally sick.... Depressed..."


Sure she is sick... Mr. Husband... How much did you help her to become that way?


This poor lovely child, with their entire future ahead of them, dies because of what she did and the result of the way you treated her for so many years. You can act like you were the good husband and didn't harm anyone....


But there are many of us who do know the truth. She told us. 


When I see you, you'll be able to read it in my eyes, if you have the courage to look.... And the eyes of the others she confided in.


In this case, the child dies. The circle of domestic violence is broken. The child will not grow up seeking help for the illness his father caused nor will he abuse his wife. 


He is dead. The child of domestic violence. 


If this post hits too close to home, please seek help. http://www.helpfordomesticviolence.com/