Linkedin MUST Be Hurtin' Fer Certain! They Say I'm in "Top 1%!"

Seriously... Today I got an email from Linkedin that said I was one of the Top 1% of all profiles viewed on all of Linkedin (200 million users) for 2012. They also have said that I have an "All-Star profile"... Really? 

I think that if my profile has been viewed in the top 1% that's pretty lame! (I mean for Linkedin; maybe cool for me!)

200 million members? Top 1%? That is cool, I suppose. But in my twisted mind, it reminds me of the trivial fact about alcohol hand-sprays. You know, the ones that you see at hospitals and doctors office entranceways that ask you to spray your hands before entering in order to kill bateria and any other nasties on your hands?

Well did you know that those sprays only kill 99% of all bacteria? Yep. That leaves 1% alive.

And did you know that in one sneeze, there are about 200 million bacteria? Yep. So, if the spray kills 99% and there are 200,000,000 then that means.. Let's see...

99% is actually .99 which means that 0.01 are stil alive. 200,000,000 divided by 0.01 leaves 2,000,000 left over.... So, if you spray your hands with this alcohol spray, then there could be 2 million little bacteria nasties still remaining. Delicious!

So, if there are 200,000,000 Linkedin users, and I am in the Top 1% viewed, then there are two million people just like me!!!!!

Wow! I feel so, so.... Unique.

Or maybe, most people take that Linked in too seriously. I did write once in How to Make Six Figures a Year From Your Linkedin Account - Linkedin Needs More Truth in Advertising - My Linkedin Page is a Big Joke 

Do you know what Linkedin is? Linkedin is a great place where you can connect with people you don't know or care about and brag about stuff that doesn't really matter. It's kind of like going to a high school reunion where everyone who thought they were hot stuff in school tries to impress everyone else that they are still hot stuff even though they now work part-time as a plumber or are on food stamps!

Heck, nothing wrong with food stamps! Join the crowd! I just got my Obamacard today so I get food stamps too! Hey Linkedin, where do we enter that sort of information on our biographies?

........ Maybe the wig is why I have never had anyone call me even once for a job interview after seeing my Linkedin bio!

Speaking of that, I been wondering exactly what the purpose of Linkedin is anyway? I mean, if it is a site to look for a job then that's cool, but what's the point of posting your bio on Linkedin if the only other people who are going to see it are also out of a job and looking for one too? 

Isn't that a contradiction? It's so confusing....

...Is Linkedin merely a place for unemployed men to be bragging to other unemployed men? Not hardly.

The truth is that Linkedin was designed for the gainfully employed to show their old high school girlfriend (who savagely dumped them just before the big year-end dance) that she made a mistake that she'll always regret because you - and only you - were the one who really loved her most (that b*tch!) When you understand that, then Linkedin makes sense. 

That's why you rarely see girls on Linkedin. They don't go there because they can't really figure out what the point is either (remember they were the ones doing the dumping). Did you know that, by my latest calculations that guys on Linkedin outnumber women by over 25 to 1!!!...

...I think Linkedin should have a "reality recommendations" part and, instead of just positive recommendations, it should also have a "condemnations" and "personal attacks" place where real comments about your shady character can be added. Stuff that can't be blocked by the page owner. Real opinions on your work quality and ethics (or lack thereof) like these from your former employers:

"So and so worked here for six months and things went fine until we began to notice huge amounts of toilet paper missing from the restrooms and forks, knives and spoons missing from the employee cafeteria." - Manager

Or, remember your very first job? Working at your dad's company?

"So and so was a totally worthless pile of crap employee. He was the worst putrefying heap of overblown bovine excrement imaginable. All his life he's been useless. Totally night and day difference between him and his extremely successful older brother." - Your father

Well, that was then and this is now. Actually, I've fallen on hard times so I cleaned up my Linked in account and make it more, er, serious in order to get gainful employment.

A look at my Linkedin description of my radio work should drive that point home:

Mike Rogers was born and raised in Los Angeles, a city even more dangerous and crazy than he is. His passport lists his occupation as 'D.J./comedian' and as we all know, passports never lie. 

He has worked as a professional DJ/Professional wrestling announcer/Sushi chef all around Japan entertaining and irritating audiences in equal measure for the last 27 years.  

With his two of his only three friends, Mike wrote and starred in many of Tokyo's most popular radio programs, including Good Morning Garbage, er, I mean, Good Morning Garage (GMG) and Channel G. 

Hopefully one day GMG will be syndicated nationwide, but as things stand, it looks like that will be the same day that you can ice skate and pirouette across the fiery rivers of hell. 

Mike has also done many TV shows and can often be spotted in a romantic kissing scene at a restaurant as the customer in the background... Yes, that's him. No, not him. The other one. Yes! That's him the one on the right with the bald spot! 

Frankly speaking, in the course of his career, Mike has received no awards worth mentioning but has received many a letter of complaint from listeners and offended fans, which is clearly a lot better.  

Mike is very pleased to be coming to ply his trade in Japan, as to be honest, he had all but burnt his bridges in his own. Mike has been fired from every radio station in Tokyo at least once. But, just like a radioactive cockroach Mike keeps coming back.  

Mike also makes TV shows and other stuff that you wouldn't really care about.

Maybe I should put back the entire slate of funny stuff and slap stick comedy that I used to have on my Linkedin page (like the position of "Top Tosser in Tokyo")... Think that will get me the CEO position at a huge international bank or Airlines?

People With Jobs Doing the Minimum... Lots of Them!

With unemployment numbers rising all over the world and talk of the Greatest Depression, many in the Banker and Wealthy class and even in the mass media say that the unemployed are lazy. I think the notion that the unemployed are lazy might be a lie. From what I've seen, in my own experience, it's the employed salary workers who are lazy.


I don't know about the unemployed. I do know that, in my experience, there are far too many employed people who are lazy and are skating by on doing the absolute minimum. I know several of them.


A few of them are about to be out of jobs.


Intelligent people know what is going on with the economy and how things are going to get really rough very soon. There are many people who are oblivious to what's going on and think they can keep doing things the way they've been doing them all their lives.


Perhaps they can. Perhaps sitting at an office and doing the minimum required can save their job. I don't think it can. 


I think the current malaise in the economy is going to get much worse than it is now and people who think they can, say, work for 40 hours a week (and leave immediately when the clock strikes 6 pm) and keep their job are kidding themselves. Jobs are getting scarce. The Governor of the Bank of England says that we are soon to be into the worst economic crisis in history. That's not all, the BBC says we are two or three weeks away from full blown global financial meltdown...


There are plenty of people who are willing, nay desperate, to do far and above the call of duty, to do more than is required to get quickly disappearing jobs...


This goes for good jobs with good pay and also the so called "slave wages" jobs like flipping hamburgers at Macs. Even at Macs, working the 40 hour shift, who do you think will keep their job? The worker who does the minimum required or the worker who, when business is slow, will mop the floors and clean the windows without first being told to do it?


In the eighties vacations and benefits were perks of jobs. In the year 2012 and beyond, merely having a job will be a perk. I think many people today, who have a poor understanding of the economy, think that the conditions and events of the last twenty years (especially the last 3 years) are normal. What they don't understand is that we have been living on borrowed time created by a government policy of artificially low interest rates and massive money printing. 


These government policies have created an artificial economy but these quick fix solutions to our problems can't work forever and they are unraveling quickly in front of our eyes - regardless if people recognize it for what it is or not. Japan will not escape the problems - and, in fact, is a huge part of the problem. And the piper must be paid someday and that day is soon coming upon us.


A few days ago I met a woman whose father was 56 years old and she told me that he hadn't a job for over two years! At 56, it should be his highest earning potential in his entire life, but here he is, out of work.


People under 30 ~ 35 years old today are fooling themselves if they think that they will be able to get along over the next 10 ~ 20 years doing the minimum amount of effort for the minimum amount of working hours a week: 40.


Like I said, there are many people who will gladly take those forty hour a week jobs and invest 72+ hours a week of their time and sweat to make sure they get and keep those jobs. It's not a question of desire or want, it is a question of survival. 


Survival of the fittest.


For a short view of just how bad things have gotten in the USA over these last 3 years watch this video. (And don't think I am blaming it all on Obama, the Republicans haven't done any better).  

And if you think that the coming collapse of the US economy isn't going to affect you in Japan, or anywhere else in the world, you are out of your mind... 


I meet young people today who tell me that they want to work "only" a full 40 hour week - no more than that. I think they are living in a fantasy world. I even had a guy (who works part time) tell me the other day that he "even worked until 1 am the other night."


I am not impressed in the least.


When I was the GM of a broadcasting station in Tokyo, I worked from 5 am until 9:30 pm every night at least 6 days a week.. Often 7. So I am not impressed a bit by someone working until late.


Big surprise for many: People do that all the time. It used to be considered a strong work ethic. It used to be considered normal if someone wanted to "get ahead". 


I am not rich but I have always been a person who was hired and then soon became a management staff. Even when I got my first job in 1975. I was only 17 but soon was given the right to clear personal checks and credit transactions. A right many employees did not have and those employees were often in their thirties.


When I graduated from college, my former boss called me out of the blue and tried to hire me back. He said, "We will hire you part-time but pay you more than full time wages." Sounds pretty good, eh? 


I refused and said, "No!" 


I told him that I didn't go to college to graduate and earn full-time wages. I told him, "I want to work twice full-time and earn five to ten times full-time pay - at least!"


Now, I meet young people who tell me that they want to work "only 40 hours a week" if that much? Dreamers. Good luck with that.


How in the world will you get any jobs when there's a flood of out of work professionals with tons of experience who will work well over and above the call of duty for their wages?


The days of doing the minimum at work are over...


For most people the days of doing the minimum ended when they go out of high school... For too many, they still think that they can continue to do the same.


Well, I've got news for you folks... Life is full of rude awakenings. You can get with the program now, and get off your asses or you can wait until you are forced off your ass.


Like Keith Richards said, "I'm going to walk before they make me run."


Too many people are sitting there waiting... They won't have to wait long.

The Brilliant Unemployed Kid Who Is About to be Very Successful

This is a lesson for every young person, or any person for that matter, who is looking for a job. This is also a good lesson for someone who has a job and wants to make sure they keep it. This is a true story.


I am always amazed at how little people prepare themselves for the task at hand. I've written many times before on this very blog that "80% of success is in preparation." This is so true.


Want to have that perfect sales presentation? Do a few (maybe several) "run through" practices by yourself. Know the material. Make no mistakes. Everyone knows this but few actually do it.


Want to "Wow!" that potential client? Do some research on who that client is and what they are about. If the client or contract is so important then you can surely spend at least an hour on their web site and know what they are thinking, their company policies and what their motto is. This is obvious but few actually do it.


Want to have that perfect vacation with that special someone and not have it messed up by bad weather? Doh! Go onto the Internet and make sure you are not going there during monsoon season. This doesn't need a remark from me. It's your vacation, you want it to be lousy because you were lazy? Be my guest.


Like I said, 80% of success is preparation.


Yesterday, I met a young man who was unemployed but is surely destined to succeed. I seriously doubt that, 24 hours later, he is unemployed now. How do I deduce this?


Here's what happened. We were walking to the bus stop to take a bus ride down to the shopping center. As we walked to the bus stop there was a young man (I'd guess about 18-years-old), who was well groomed and dressed, reading from a card. As he was reading, he would close his eyes and recite out loud the material he was studying. At first, I thought he was practicing for a play by this method in order to memorize his lines.


He was so involved in his recital that he didn't notice us and he backed up and bumped into my wife. In very humble and polite fashion he said, "Oh! Pardon me! I'm very sorry." (Extreme politeness and sincerity always scores points - something most young people today seem unable to do).


When the bus came, we all boarded and the young man did too. He sat next to me still intently studying the material he was holding in his hand. There I saw he wasn't reading a script from a play, he was memorizing a restaurant menu!


I surmised that he was memorizing the menu as he was starting work at that restaurant that day. My curiosity got the best of me and I interrupted him. I congratulated him on starting a new job and he floored me when he said,


"Oh, I haven't gotten the job yet. I am going on a job interview at this restaurant. I just thought it would be good for me to know the restaurant's  menu by heart."


Brilliant! Of course it would. And it just shows dedication that is a rarity in these days. Would you want to show up at this interview unprepared competing for the same job as this guy and you haven't a clue as to this restaurant's fare?


I'll bet you a dollar that this young man had also investigated on the Internet this restaurants background, history and policies.


With his sincerity, politeness and dedication, I'd be stunned if he didn't land that job. But with this kind of work ethic, even if he didn't, he will do well. Perhaps the restaurant management may not recognize the ability, effort and talent this young man possessed. But, if he keeps it up, someone soon will.


People like this guy are destined for good things. How could he not be? Just look at his competition.


As an aside, the night before I went to a bar. At that establishment the waitresses greeted us and asked me and my friend if we would like a drink. I asked for a draft beer. She said, "What kind?" I answered, "What kind do you have?" She didn't know.


She then went through the same routine with my friend over wines. She didn't know what wines they served either. Finally she said she'd call another waiter.


She then proceeded to walk away and stand at the bar without bothering to look at the menu to inquire what was on it. Gee, how long would it take to memorize the 3 or four draft beers or table wines this restaurant served? 


And if she did a good job, you think she'd get better tips?.... Nah! Tips? If you are a waitress, why bother? (Sarcasm notice!) 


Just this one episode shows me that this girl is clueless and has a very poor work ethic. 


Useless. Do you think she'll ever get a pay raise or move up to a better paying job? Not with this work ethic she won't.


How can people dream about getting a good job or even becoming rich when they won't even make the effort to become minimally informed about their business.

Image of a professional

Take this young man's example and reject this example of the young waitress. If you want to get ahead, do some preparation.


It kind of reminds me of a comic I once saw. In the comic, two guys were being chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur about to eat them. One guy said, "We have to outrun the dinosaur."


The other guy replied, "No, we don't have to outrun the dinosaur. I just have to outrun you."