Gaijin Gourmet: My Favorite Robot (Sushi) - Hamazushi

There's a great restaurant near my house. It's a "Robot Sushi" restaurant. The food is delicious and it is super cheap. The signs below say, "Sushi train ¥100 a plate," (about $0.84 USD) but on weekdays, during lunch time, the plates are ¥90 each (about $0.75 USD).

The place is called, "Hamazushi" and this place rocks! It's the best sushi for the price in the entire world, I reckon. The restaurants are immaculately clean and the service is fantastic. Of course the service is fantastic; this place is basically run by robots!

This particular Hamazushi has about 80 tables. It is packed every weekend. So I came during the week this time, but still they are doing a brisk business.... Notice the waitress in the above photo? No? Why is that, I wonder?

Oh! I see. We don't need a waitress. This is our table, number 42. Right by the number 42 at the middle top, you can see our touchscreen menu. That's our waitress for today. She takes the orders and delivers most things to the table.

Let's see how it works!

Don't be shy! This touchscreen menu is bilingual and can do Japanese or English. And she never messes up my order!

After I enter my order, then Ms. Touchscreen Waitress takes the order and all of them are delivered to me on our trusty and reliable old friend, Mr. Conveyor!

But, wait a minute! If the orders come down the conveyor, what's to stop other people from taking my order? Ah? Ms. Touchscreen places my order on a special red tray and when my orders approaches my table (table 42) our beautiful and sexy voiced Ms. Touchscreen waitress says, "Now arriving at gate 42, your order of Maguro (or whatever) sushi!"
The bells ring and you know the order has arrived... Did I mention that kids just GO CRAZY over this restaurant? They love to press the touchscreen and make the orders. They love how our bilingual waitress informs us of our orders approaching... Kids have so much fun! Especially when ice cream or cake is ordered and arrives! 

Of course, Ms. Touchscreen Waitress plays funny bells and whistles for the kids when their desserts arrive! Genius!

Different plates of sushi. My wife loves Ankimo.... It's a seasonal dish kind of like Foie Gras. Of course Hamazushi evens has these delicious offerings.

Tuna! Who doesn't love tuna? Especially when the fish is freash and delicious and it only costs ¥100 (about $0.84 per dish!) Incredibly good!

My favorite is sashimi. Yep! They have that too! Same food quality and safety; same delicious freshness... Same low price!

Sushi heaven!

Ah? There is a human here (someone has to clean the tables and take special orders!) Great quick service too at Hamazushi. 

If you like sushi, and I do, you'll love Hamazushi... Especially if you are on a budget and/or have kids! 

You just cannot beat the quality, food safety, freshness and service of Hamazushi! If you go there, tell them "Mike sent me!" (Oh, but you'll have to press the "English" button on the touchscreen or she won't understand what you are saying!

Hamazushi! For price and quality (and fun for the kids) 5 stars! There are Hamazushi restaurants all over Tokyo. See their webpage (Sorry, Japanese only!) http://www.hamazushi.com/

Most Hamazushi restaurants are open from 11:00 until 11 pm. 

Fear of a Spam Planet

On yesterday morning's radio show, I spoke about convenience store Spam rice balls I found the other day at my local convenience store... Which I was surprised about because you usually only see these things in places like Hawaii or Saipan... Now they sell them in Tokyo? 

Do people actually buy these things?

"Imported" from Okinawa...

Then a few days after finding the spam rice ball, I find a news story about new Spam flavored Macadamia nuts that recently went on sale in Hawaii.

The LA Times had the story entitled: Spam-flavored nuts exist, people!:

When you think of Spam, a satisfying crunch isn't exactly the sensation that comes to mind. It's more of a soft, squishy bite, unless you're talking about Spam-flavored macadamia nuts. But if you're imagining little pink nuts covered in some sort of Spam meat dust, you should be warned that there is no actual Spam in, on, or around the nuts. 

Yes, these Spam nuts contain no actual Spam. 

The nuts are made by the Hamakua Macadamia Nut Co. in Hawaii. According to President and Co-Owner Richard Schnitzler, the nuts get their Spam flavor from a special Hormel seasoning blend. 

"Spam has a cult following in Hawaii and so it seemed like a good idea," Schnitzler said. 

The company developed the meat-free flavoring with Hormel. The nuts were tested at a show in New York about three years ago, and according to Schnitzler, the sales have been solid ever since.

Spam flavored Macademia nuts? Yuck! 

Well ,like I said, I spoke about these things as a big joke on my show, but maybe the joke is on me... Because, the same night as the radio show, I was at our favorite sushi restaurant and there, lo and behold, they had Spam sushi on the menu!!!! 

You kidding me? I, of course, just had to order one even though I hate Spam.

Makes for a funny photo...

Sure enough, Spam sushi with a little bit of egg between the Spam and the rice... This just shows how far western society (and now Japanese) have fallen!

But, anyway, as on my radio show yesterday and this blog right now, I am your humble reporter just reporting the facts.

.... It's a worldwide 'Spam Boom!' Fear. People. Fear.

And you heard it here first....See? I told you! That just shows how much of a fashion and trend leader I am!!!! 

Yes. It does look terrible... There's a reason for that!

Do you like Spam, Sam?

No I do not like Spam, Sam I am!

Oh, sorry in Okinawa it's not called Spam... It's called "Canned pork"

"Canned pork"? Mmmmm.... That sounds even better!

If you want to order Spam Flavored Macadamia Nuts, here they are on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Spam-Macadamia-Nuts-4-5-Oz/dp/B004N9RTRQ

Why a $1.8 Million Dollar Tuna is Dirt-Cheap

This blog post is about a very misunderstood topic recently. Of course you heard about the tuna that was sold for a record $1.8 million dollars at the first auction of the New Year in Japan? That price of $1.8 million dollars set a record. It was the top story on all the Japanese networks, the Internet and even on TV and media across the globe: it was one of the top stories and big news all over the world. People couldn't believe that anyone would pay that much money for one fish...

This fish was huge but the chef told me that it sold for about ¥40,000 (about $454 USD)

But, my friends, that $1.8 million dollar price was dirt cheap. Those folks who bought that Tuna didn't really buy a fish, actually, they bought an advertising campaign. The tuna was a prop.

Lots of people seem to misunderstand this.

Images of Mt. Fuji and Isehara, in Kanagawa, Japan at New Year

Isehara is in Kanagawa, Japan. The capital is Yokohama.

This New Year I went there to spend time with the in-laws. I took some photos and wanted to share them with you.

There aren't any New Year's at the Shrine photos because I want to keep more of that sort of thing private.

Here's just a bunch of photos in no particular order with a brief explanation. As usual, you are welcomed to use these photos for free as you wish. I like these photos and whenever I take stuff like this I think, "Damn! These iPhones take great quality photos!"

I took this photo while driving the car. It reminds me of the "36 Views of Mount Fuji" woodblock prints by Hokusai.

In America, people eat Turkey and stuffing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and the holiday season. In Japan, they eat "Osechi Ryori."

A statue of the goddess of the sun of Japan's own Shinto religion, Amaterasu, at a Japanese temple.

No, really. That is my neighbor's dog dressed up in a kimono for "Hatsumode" (visiting the shrine for good luck for the first time in the new year). Really, this dog has all sorts of wardrobe.

The laughing buddha, Hotei. Hotei is traditionally is a fat bald man wearing a robe and wearing or carrying prayer beads. He carries his few possessions in a cloth sack. He is very poor but very happy. He is often depicted entertaining or being followed by adoring children. His figure appears throughout Chinese and Japanese culture to represent happiness. I think Hotei is probably the most recognized of the Seven Gods of Fortune.

One of my very favorite Zen Buddhist stories from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones involves Hotei. It is called "The Happy Chinaman" and it goes like this:

The Happy Chinaman or Laughing Buddha, Hotei, lived in the T'ang dynasty. He had no desire to call himself a Zen master or to gather many disciples around him. Instead he walked the streets with a big sack into which he would put gifts of candy, fruit, or doughnuts. These he would give to children who gathered around him in play. He established a kindergarten of the streets.  

Whenever he met a Zen devotee he would extend his hand and say: "Give me one penny."  

Once as he was about to play-work another Zen master happened along and inquired: "What is the significance of Zen?"  Hotei immediately plopped his sack down on the ground in silent answer. 

"Then," asked the other, "what is the actualization of Zen?" At once the Happy Chinaman swung the sack over his shoulder and continued on his way.

It's only January and the department stores have already put out displays for Children's Day in Japan. Here is the traditional Japanese prince and princess doll set that every little girl in Japan has in some form or another, no matter how rich or poor.

Mt. Fuji from December 6th 2012 when I went down to Shizuoka and met children as Santa Claus last year. Thanks kids! Santa loves you and will visit you at home this year!

Another view of Mt. Fuji

Every New Years at the in-laws it's sushi! I love it!

And the best thing about going to sushi is that I like to be the first customers there. They open at 5 pm, I'm there at 4:45.... When there are no other customers, there's no waiting. It's the best!

I hope you are still enjoying the New Year Holidays! I'm back to work tomorrow am!!!!

Mt. Fuji along Shuto Expressway

Best in 2013! I hope we all see all our dreams come true in the next 12 months!

Monster Roll: Sushi Chefs in Epic Battle!

Want more great cinema? You got it.  Badass Digest has the scoop:

I love a good short, and there's lots to admire about Monster Roll. The idea is simple: gigantic sea monsters have come ashore and only the greatest Asian-American sushi chefs can battle them. Unfortunately, the short lacks Jiro Ono, but it does feature the incredible Gerald Okamura as a blind chef. This also marks the third film I've seen in the last month about the high artistry involved with making sushi. It really makes me want to move back to Asia.

According to writer/director Dan Blank, the film is a "proof of concept" for a feature. So, watch it and spread it around. Hopefully someday soon we'll get to see the whole thing.

What more do you need? It's only six minutes long, it's hilarious, it has giant monsters, and Gerald Okamura is in it. Watch the shit out of it!

What more can I say except "Itadakimasu!" (Bon appetit!)

Enjoy!

There's more fun stuff at the movie web site: http://www.monsterroll.com/

Thanks to Taro Furukawa for the tip!

Delicious Looking! The Most Expensive Plastic Food in the World!

I went to Kappabashi yesterday. Kappabashi is a place near Ueno and is famous in Japan for selling anything and everything that has to do with the restaurant business. Of course that means knives, fork, spoons, chopsticks and plates. But it also means "noren" (the cloths that Japanese restaurants have outside in front over the doorway to show that they are open); it also means "akachochin" (the red lanterns that restaurants have outside to show what kind of establishment the restaurant is; the plastic food you see in front of the Japanese and Chinese restaurants and just about anything you can think of including wine coolers, exhaust fans for restaurants and even the little signs that say "men" or "womens" for the rest rooms!


Kappabashi has everything for restaurants!


Since most of the shops at Kappabashi sell wholesale, they didn't allow me to take photos in their shops but two places didn't mind.... I think that's because their business kicks butt and they don't care about a little Internet competition!


One particularly interesting shop was "Maizuru Sample" (Cheat Sample). Cheat Sample is a shop that was just stuffed full of fake wax foods.... This place had everything!

The sign out front of the shop doesn't begin to show the, the, er, the delicacies within...

Ummm! Ice cold beer and spaghetti with forks floating in mid-air... Wait! What!? Those beers sell for about ¥5000 each (that's about $60!) Those beers had better taste good.... Or, in this case, at least look like they do!

King crab imported from Russia... and molded in a factory around the corner... I wonder what an artican gets to make one of these? And, just how does one get a career in making fake foods? "Mom! I want to work in the restaurant industry but don't like kitchens or fried food... Or even customers for that matter! What should I do?"

These lobsters are life-sized and look completely real...

....and they sell for $600 (USD) each!!!??? Holy Red Lobster! 

Well, there's no way I'm paying $600 for a lobster that's not even cooked and, even if it were, you couldn't eat it. When it comes to food that is poisonous anyway, I'm into Cup Noodles and instant ramen. Here's the wax version at a reasonable $80 a bowl (this is better than the real thing because eating ramen is very bad for you and fattening anyway!)

Prime cut USDA choice steak... Er, plastic...

Need to take a few sushi home with you? Sure, these are already wrapped. Put it in your packet... Oh, and make sure they don't stay there too long... Nothing worse than melted sushi....

I wonder if that plate is real or is that wax too? I should have asked.

Well, at $25 or more for a piece of sushi that, if you eat it, will cause you to go to the hospital to have your stomach pumped, I think I'll stick with the refrigerator magnets. They have tons of those!

It was a fun day at Kappabashi. Next time I'll try to be more sly and take more photos... Until then, I highly suggest that, before eating anything, knock on it to make sure that it isn't plastic.


When in doubt, refrain!


Here is Maizuru's webpage. They even take internet orders and you can order online!


http://www.maiduru.co.jp

Address: 〒120-0003
東京都足立区東和４－１５－２２

Tel:  03-3606-1665

Fax: 03-3606-1667

Map URL: http://yahoo.jp/DJRLwa

World's Biggest Shark Captured! Weighed Over 22,000 Kilograms! (50,000 Lbs.)

Holy Sh*t! That's some sushi!

From the web page:

One of the biggest sharks to ever be officially record was found off the shores of Pakistan in early 2012. This whale shark was measured to be over 40 feet long and weighted almost 50,000 lbs. 

Dead Sushi - Soon to Be "Classic" Japanese Cinema

Oh, modern Japanese cinema has outdone itself this time.... For the first time this week! 

Dead Sushi. Attack of the Killer Sushi. Here's the trailer for Noboru Iguchi's newest! Another low-grade splatter horror film from Japan! 

Rina Takeda will kick your a*s... 

Actually she probably could as she really can do karate!

It's sushi erotica starring Rina Takeda Japan's real karate girl actress!

Japan has been coming out with a lot of this gore type of b-grade horror flick.

Yukie Kawamura is HOT! HOT! HOT!

Who could forget the hit "Vampire Girl Versus Frankenstein Girl" starring hot and sexy Japanese star Yuki Kawamura?

Thanks to film critic, Ken Nishikawa

Japan is a Peaceful Country - Crime of the Week? Sharks in Parks! Shark Attack!

Japan is a very peaceful country. Ask the Japanese, ask anyone who has ever been here. The Japanese will tell you, "日本は平和な国" ("Nihon wa heiwa na kuni" - Japan is a peaceful country). It is. Japan is an extremely peaceful country. In the west you constantly have news about grotesque crimes, murders, bombings and wars, in Japan? News about ducks crossing a road in downtown Tokyo.

Left: My image of typical USA news. 

Right: Naked anime girl seems typical Japanese news 

The crimes that hit the news sources in Japan are completely out of this world when compared to the crimes that hit the news compared to, say, the United States. In the USA, the news is about riots, police brutality, government spying on citizens, Americans losing their freedoms, white collar crimes and idiocy about what kind of fashions movie stars are wearing. 

Ducks crossing busy streets in the world's most crowded city, 

Tokyo, was big news for several years in Japan.

Photo from NTV - Channel 4 Nihon TV (Japan TV) Network 

In the USA, there are roughly 17,000 murders per year. Japan, with roughly half the population of the USA has about 1,000 murders a year... Many of those murders are murder suicides so it is not exactly an apples to apple comparison. If there is a murder in the USA, it doesn't even hit the news unless the victim is a famous person or the relative of a famous person. In Japan, a murder usually becomes big news all over the TV and news networks for weeks after the incident.

The comparison of US news and Japan's news shows two countries that are as different as night and day. Here's things I skimmed from Yahoo news just now.


In the USA: 


*Police Beat Protestors
*Hillary Clinton Commits Fashion Faux Pas at G20 Meeting
*Teen Rapes 5-year-old at Ohio McDonald's
*More Catholic Priests Accused of Molestation
*Shooter Says Angel That Ordered Him to Kill Looked Like Olivia Newton-John


Okay. Yeah, that cops beating people up story has been going on for a long time. It's winter now, just wait until it warms up again and then we'll start seeing more of this. Hillary Clinton's fashion? Ugh. The only thing worse than kissing Hillary Clinton would be to kiss Imelda Marcos. Who cares what her fashion is? Why are Americans so concerned with what people are wearing? Teen rapes 5-year-old? At a McDonald's? WTF!? Priests rape kids? Same old, same old... Murder says angel that told him to do it looks like Olivia Newton John? Well aren't all angels beautiful like Farrah Fawcet or Olivia Neutron Bomb?

Now let's look at the news in Japan:


*Fukushima Nuclear Plant Toured by Journalists
*Three People Found Dead of Starvation in Saitama
*Search for Disaster Victims on Fukushima Coast
*Emperor Leaves Hospital After Surgery
*Dead 1.5 Meter Long Shark Left in Park Has Cops Fishing for Motive

Right. Dead 1.5 meter (about 4.5 foot long) shark left in public park?... Wait!.... What?!


Japan Times has the story: 

A dead shark found in Tokyo's Yoyogi Park has sparked an investigation into who brought it there, an officer at Yoyogi Police Station said Monday.

A park security guard called the police at 7 a.m. Sunday after finding the shark, which was covered by a blue tarp and measured about 1½ meters long, the police said.

The shark had been gutted and was found near a parking lot for bicycles near one of the entrances leading to JR Shibuya Station.

"The shark was not rotten, so I guess someone left the shark not so long ago," Hiroshi Okano, a deputy chief at Yoyogi Police Station, told The Japan Times by telephone. He said the police station is keeping its carcass at a storage facility there.

Okano wouldn't disclose any other details because the matter is still under investigation as an illegal dumping case.

On Twitter, dozens of posts from Feb. 14 to early on Feb. 15 said a shark was being exhibited in front of a sushi restaurant in Shibuya. The tweets later said someone had taken it away.

Only in Japan! And, actually, this is a pretty big story here in Japan. So what the deal is was is it seems that this shark was on display in front of a sushi shop. The sushi shops claims that some dumb gaijin (foreigner) told the sushi shop that we was an artist and wanted the shark to use to create some artwork. So, the sushi shops gave it to him. They say he must have dumped the shark in the park...

Uh, huh... Riiiiiiiight. Now, pun intended, but that story sounds really fishy! I don't believe that for a minute and it seems that the police don't either. It also strikes me as odd that the supposed perpetrator of this heinous crime is, of course, the unknown and shady foreigner...

Now, we all know that all foreigners in Japan are criminals, crack-addicts, sun-glass wearing untrustworthy, despicable characters (present company excluded)... But I don't know too many who have a hankering to be walking around carrying a 1.5 meter long shark under their arm... Also, considering that all artists (and musicians) are dirt poor, how is this artist going to get this shark home? On the train? And to think that a sushi shop is going to pay several hundred dollars for a fish (yeah, yeah, I know a shark isn't a fish) then just give it away to some guy walking up the street is a bit too much to believe.

Let me just say, "I don't think so."

I seems that the police don't believe this story either and are "grilling" (pun intended) the people from the sushi shop. It seems obvious to me that they had this huge shark that they didn't know what to do with and some Einstein there decided to dump it in the park and blame it on the scummy foreigners...

Heck, that's what any thinking person would do! 

Well, that's the sort of thing that hits the news in Japan.

Ok. Maybe I would call the police... Or at least the the Coast Guard or the navy!

The other thing about this that really surprises me is that the park attendant, upon finding the shark, would actually bother to call the police? Really? If it were me, I'd just get a big trash bag and throw it out on trash day. The other thing is that the police would actually bother with this. Do the police in Japan actually have so much free time that they'd launch and investigation as to where this shark came from?

Don't those police clowns have any real criminals to catch? No they don't... They only have traffic tickets to give out and sushi to eat, in between raiding prostitution parlors and arresting S&M dominatrix queens.

Nihon wa heiwa na kuni. Japan is a peaceful country. (With the police wasting our tax money).


Thanks to Marta Karpinska

Bizarre Goings on Under the Sea - Japanese Fishermen Sight a Humanoid Species at the Antarctic

I just was sent some documents by some guys overseas and asked to translate into English what was written on them. I think they are pulling my leg. But, they sent me these photos and a video link also. The stuff talks about humanoid creatures that have been seen by Japanese fishermen off the Antarctic. If you are a fan of TV shows like X-Files, then you will find this stuff very interesting.

Artist's rendition or my nightmare tonight. I often dream of fishing...

Seriously, is this some kind of joke? Halloween is already past. Anyway, always interested in being humored, I looked at the stuff and the photos. Here's most of the goodies for you on this page. Remember that the truth is always stranger than fiction!


Anyway, just for starters, watch these two short videos. What the heck is that thing?

After watching these, I did some searches and did find some head scratching things. Here's what I found was written about these creatures:

Behold "The Ningen": A Terrifying Cryptoid 

The "Ningen" a large-scale unidentified creature that appears in the Antarctic Ocean. "Ningen" means literally "human being" in Japanese, it`s allegedly a very large unknown animal sighted by Japanese fishers, which bares an uncanny resemblance to us humans.

Well, I don't know the kind of people you've been hanging around with, but these creatures don't look like anyone I know. But they are weird looking. When I read the above I knew that the best place to look for more on this sort of "out of this world" stuff would be, where else? Pink Tentacle.

Pink Tentacle. Here's what they had:

Over the past few years, rumors have circulated in Japan about the existence of gigantic humanoid life-forms inhabiting the icy waters of the Antarctic.

Reportedly observed on multiple occasions by crew members of government-operated "whale research" ships, these so-called "Ningen" (lit. "humans") are said to be completely white in color with an estimated length of 20 to 30 meters. Eyewitnesses describe them as having a human-like shape, often with legs, arms, and even five-fingered hands. Sometimes they are described as having fins or a large mermaid-like tail instead of legs. The only visible facial features are the eyes and mouth.

According to one account, crew members on deck observed what they initially thought was a foreign submarine in the distance. When they approached, however, it became clear from the irregular shape of the thing that it was not man-made -- it was alive. The creature quickly disappeared under water.

For the most part, the existence of the Ningen is considered an urban legend. Much of the information about this rumored creature can be traced back to a series of posts on the 2channel forums, written by a person describing the experience of a friend employed on a government "whale research" vessel. (Read the full Japanese text of the original story that first appeared on a 2channel forum) http://homepage3.nifty.com/Daiou3/Ningen.html

Anyway, to get another quick, brief (and fun) rundown on this stuff, watch this video that I found. It's good for entertainment purposes anyway:

Well, that's some pretty bizarre stuff, I'll admit. But rumor has it that these were seen by Japanese fishermen off the Antarctic? Well that makes sense to me. If I were a Japanese fisherman far away with nothing else to do, I'd be drinking sake all the time too.


Maybe what they saw was like this Russian Alien Fish?: 

Anyway, bizarre goings on or out to sea for too long? You be the judge. Personally, for me, I don't believe it. You know why? Well, everyone knows that if the Japanese find some new seas creature the very first things they'll do is not photograph it! Heck the first thing all Japanese do when they find a new fish is to slice it open and throw some wasabi and soy sauce on it and try it our for sushi.


As for this guy? No thanks. But just you wait, it will wind up some new sushi delicacy in no time.