How I Became a Kind and Patient Father - And you can too!

(This article is a re-write of something that originally ran more than 6 years ago).

I used to have a short temper. I used to get angry for seemingly unimportant reasons. One time I even lost my temper and slapped my son... I've only done that once... But it had a huge impact on me.

I soon regretted that and wondered if I hadn't over-reacted. My sense of remorse and regret was nearly overwhelming to the point of tears.

That was more than ７ years ago. I don't do that anymore.

Years ago, I taught my son to ride a bicycle. Any parent who has done that know what kinds of a frustrating experience that can be! I was pulling my hair out. A few times I caught myself getting frustrated to the point of getting mad. 

I couldn't control my anger sometimes.... I regretted it later.

Today I rarely get mad at my son and get that rush of frustration that often leads to a burst of anger. It used to happen to me all the time. It never happens anymore.

How do I do it? What has helped me to radically change my personality so that I never have bursts of anger anymore? How have I been able to change years of habit in just a few months time?

By the power of taking notes. That's right. Just by merely taking notes every day, it reinforces my subconscious daily and has helped me and countless others to alter their behavior.

You can do it too. 

Get yourself a good $1 notebook. Every day write down your top 10 most important goals. 

Two of my goals that I write down every day religiously are

1) I am a kind and patient father, husband and person.

2) All my loved ones are healthy and prosper.

By writing number one above, I have become more patient with my son and it has also had the added benefit of helping me not to get mad when people write things to me that are not complimentary - like many of the comments I get on this blog - or on emails.

The second one just is a sort of personal prayer for everyone I care about. I figure a bit of insurance by using the powers of the Law of Attraction couldn't hurt.

Of course, writing down your goals every day won't change you overnight. But, as the old zen saying goes, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step."

Begin that journey to become the parent, husband, or person you want to become just by starting. If you do this every day as I suggest, I guarantee that you'll begin to see results within a few weeks.

The person you want to become, actually, already resides within you. You just have to help him to come out.

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For more on this subject, please refer to:

One Easy Step to Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life

Pocket Notebooks - the Secret of Millionaires and People Won't Listen

How to Stop Worrying so much and Become More Successful at Life

Make Your Own Success

Holidays and In-Laws Driving You Crazy? "Find Your Center"

Just came back from a vacation and wanted to relate a story that happened when I just arrived on a southern Pacific island. 

Buddha on Tumon in Guam

From past experience, and my feelings of irritation, I knew that at the moment when we arrived on the island, my in-laws might drive me crazy. You know, it was the typical story with old people; forgetting things; worrying about unimportant nonsense; taking 15 minutes to do something that most people could do in 20 seconds....


We arrived at the island airport after midnight. Everyone was tired and sleepy. We checked into to the hotel bus service which would drive us all to the hotel for free. 


We had two luggage carriers with three pieces of luggage on each. I received the six luggage tags from the limousine service to put on our bags for the bus.  I started putting the luggage tags on the three pieces of luggage on my cart and handed three luggage tags to them to put on the three bags on their cart. I finished attaching the tags. I stood up and, of course, there was some confusion at their cart. The tag numbers were wrong (?) or were they? No! There weren't enough tags.

Oh Lordy! I thought, "How hard could it be to properly attach three tags to three pieces of luggage." I walked over to calmly investigate. Sure enough, they were two tags short. 


"What happened to the three tags I just gave you?" I asked.


"Oh? We put two of them on your luggage." I rolled my eyes. I looked at my cart and sure enough, they had put two of their tags on my cart's luggage. Why? Hell if I know. For 1/2 a second steam came out my ears.... I caught myself and I smiled. Then I removed the tags from my luggage and put them on theirs... I won't go into details of how they started using a pen to alter the numbers on the tags for some reason. Once again a simple 30 second process took over fifteen minutes of time.


I turned back to the nice young man at the service counter. He said, "First time in Guam?"


"Nope!" I answered. Smiling I said, "First time with the in-laws and the entire family so all I have to do is try to be patient and keep calm...." I scrunched up my face and whispered to the guy like I was going nuts and said, "BECAUSE, BLESS THEIR HEARTS, SOMETIMES THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!"

It was then and there, the Great Buddha who lived within the heart and soul of that young man came out and spread wisdom to me he put his hands together and smiled knowingly at me and said,


"Find your center, man!"


I really laughed. What wisdom. That's right. "Find your center, man!" All I had to do was to find my center and take it easy. I couldn't allow these things to irritate me... Oh, and trust that there were many things they did that irritated me. But, by remembering what that young man said,  I was able to stay cool (for the most part) and chill out. I was able to expect these things would happen and so, when they did, they didn't bother me.


Fifteen minutes to decide whether or not it is cold or hot enough so that they need to take a sweater with them when we are driving in our own car anyway? No problem. Calling a hotel to make special dinner reservations for a dinner that always gets sold out yet calling the wrong restaurant? No sweat (I knew I should have called myself anyway). Wanting to take a hour to shop in a clothes store that doesn't seem to have 50 pieces of wardrobe in the entire store that is the size of 1/2 a convenience store? Sure. Knock yourselves out.


Hell, I wasn't going anywhere.


Another thing that helped me to have a better and more relaxing time was to write in my notes as my daily goals every day as my number one priority was:


1) I am relaxed & patient & having fun 12/23/11


I wrote that as my #1 priority goal first thing when I woke up every morning while on vacation. It helped my subconscious to remember it and it helped me to forget about work and problems at the office.  

  


I also wrote at the top of my notes every morning,


"In Guam. Find your center." It helped me to relieve stress and have more fun. I think whether you  re in a south Pacific island or not, writing your goals and finding your center can help you to be happier and more productive and stress-free. Try it everyday in 2012.


NOTE: Write down your goals everyday for a better, more successful and happier you. http://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.com/2011/06/pocket-notebooks-secret-of-millionaires.html

Want to Make Money? Forget Online Gimmicks. Don't Know Where to Start? Start Where You Are Standing

"Money is usually attracted, not pursued." - Jim Rohn

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket." - Kin Hubbard

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In the last two days, I've had two people ask me about making money by blogging. Or, more specifically, one person asked me,

"Is it possible to make money blogging?" 

To this person I answered (in my usual long-winded self), "Well, I don't accept advertising on my blog now as I want to be able to write whatever I want and to say what I want. It is hard enough to always talk about those things as it is. I am always worrying about what other people might think about me when I honestly state my shortcomings, my chequered past, my failures and complaints. It's hard enough to do that as it is without having to worry about what paying people might think. So I don't have advertising now. It keeps me from having just one more worry. But you can make money blogging."

54 and still here - chequered past still here too!

The other person asked me, 

"Mike, I want to blog and make a bit of money with it. What do you suggest?"

I told him that he should just start blogging and then worry about how to make money with it after starting. I also quoted Lao-Tzu:

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step" - Lao-Tzu - The Way of Lao-tzu Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

This is a good quote but allow me to be completely anal-retentive about it. Even though this is the popular form of this quotation, the correct translation should be:

"The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet." 


Rather than emphasizing the first step, Buddhists, Taoists and Lau Tzu believed that action was something that arose naturally beginning with the act of being still. Another potential phrasing would be "Even the longest journey must begin where you stand."

I think, in today's modern language this would translate into something like, 

"Well, don't just stand there. Do something!"

Making money blogging? Hmmm... Can be done. The easiest way is to allow pop-ups click through ads on your blog. I dabbled with that long ago, but stopped it because it seemed like the algorithm was bad. Why? Well, I'd write a blog post railing on Groupon and calling it a crummy company, yet on my page, there'd be ads for Groupon. Stuff like that happened all the time. I didn't like it, so I stopped it.


Then, just the other day, I got another letter from a company overseas who wanted to pay me $150 a year to place a banner on my blog. I don't know if I want to do that or not. Far be it from me to poo-poo $150, but, in Japan, $150 isn't a lot of money and I wonder how I'm ever going to get the money anyway from a foreign company. Hell, I think the bank transfer will cost them $50-some dollars. Are they really going to pay? I wouldn't. And, do I really want an ad for some UK marketing service on my blog?


Probably not. 


Anyway, there are ways to make money from blogging... Probably not a lot at first; probably not a lot ever. But, you have to at least start somewhere.


As for me, I don't blog for money. I blog because, and I'm dead serious about this, I think  logging has helped me to become a better person.


Blogging has kept my mind working.


Blogging has helped me to become a better parent.


Blogging has taught me patience.


Blogging has made me feel good.


Blogging has helped me help other people and charities.


Blogging has helped me make friends around the world!


I think blogging has it's own rewards... Even better than money.


You should blog too. Blog about what you want to blog about. 


Everyone has a wonderful story to tell. We'd like to hear yours!