Rock and Pop Musicians! Please Make Two and a Half Minute Songs!

"Brevity is the soul of wit." - Lord Polonius from Shakespeare's Hamlet 1602

Everyone knows that the attention spans of people are getting shorter yet rock musicians (people who are appealing to those with the shortest attention spans of all), keep making songs that are getting longer.

I don't get it.

According to the website: Attention Span Statistics data: 

"The average attention span in 2000, 12 seconds. The average attention span in 2012, 8 seconds. "

Yet, people keep making pop and rock songs longer and longer! Ever since "Let it Be" by the Beatles and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, which BOTH were six minutes long, pop and rock musicians keep making songs over four, even five minutes! Is this counter-intuitive? Or just plain, well, "Not smart"?

No. This is NOT what I want!

I think it's not very smart. Let me tell you why...

I used to program and select all the music for a very popular morning drive-time program in Tokyo. Our service area covers 42 million homes, so it's huge. I know that many people like me (I've asked) have agreed that the "perfect pop/rock song" is 2.5 minutes long (or thereabouts). Three minutes? Well, okay... Three and a half minutes? You're pushing it. Over 3:30? Hmmm, it had better be as good as the Rolling Stones, "Jumping Jack Flash" (which, I didn't look, but I believe is 3:48!) Still, with that, I will probably cut the last 30 seconds. Over 4 minutes? That's starting to get really difficult to use. Over 4:30 or 5? No thanks... Send me a radio-friendly version, will ya?

(By the way, if I must be going to a commercial in, say, 1:40 from now, and I have to cover the time, will I play the 2:30 song and cut 50 seconds, or am I going to play the 5 minute song that has a 48 second intro? Easy call, isn't it?)

Yet musicians keep sending us their new singles and the songs are all over four or five minutes. I hate it!

Why?

OK. It's simple. Did you know that there are ten times more listeners at 7 am than there are at 7 pm (due to people driving in the morning)? Let me repeat that: Did you know that there are ten times more listeners at 7 am than there are at 7 pm (due to people driving in the morning)? And the number of listeners rapidly declines after the morning driving time ends (in Japan, after 8:30 am). So that's why you want your song on before 8:30 am; there's many more potential listeners for your tunes if they are on early. 

Did you also know (at least in Japan's case) that the average listener listens to FM radio for only twenty minutes at a time? That's right.

Now, morning shows (the ones with, by far, the highest ratings) need a quick tempo and a fast pace. We don't have time to screw around. We have to get lots of information, news, weather, sports, traffic, commercials and music shoved into the shortest time span possible. That means we play lots of short songs in the mornings (when, as I mentioned, the ratings are highest)... That means we (well, I won't) play any songs at all that push the 3:30+ mark (or I just lop off a few minutes - do you want that?) 

I greatly prefer short songs. 

If you send me a 2:30 song, then I will greatly consider that for airplay during the peak times... But, if you send me a 5 minute song? Yeah, later on in the show... Or never. Long songs are difficult to use.

Of course, I'm talking about the fun shows that are on in the mornings (did I say the ratings = more listeners - were higher at that time? I did? Thanks.)

That means, in my case, I will play short, up-tempo songs like early Beatles, Stones, Ramones at peak times to get the listeners pumped-up and ready to go in the mornings. We don't do easy listening...

It used to be that, long ago, songs were always under 3 minutes. What happened? I don't know. But this "long song" business is foolish. 

It's simple; if you want your songs played when there are the most listeners, then make them short. If you can't say it in 2.5 minutes, then you need to work on it.

Of course, there is a time and place for longer songs.... But generally not on the highly rated morning shows... I'm trying to wake people up in the morning and cram in as much as I can in the shortest space I can... But, then again, maybe people don't care about radio anymore... OK. I can understand that too.

But, knowing this, and if you DO want radio airplay, why would you want to make long songs?

Your call.


NOTE: Oh, and PS: If you are a new musician, then make sure you "Like" the FB pages of the radio programs you are (or want to) promote to. Our FB page is here: https://www.facebook.com/MikeRogersShow/

NOTE TWO: THE PERFECT SONG? I don't know but it's a great example of what I'm talking about. Within the first 30 seconds, you hear the intro, verse, chorus and hook... If this isn't perfect, then it's damned close: The Beatles - Paperback Writer (if link doesn't work, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmVwo2DxkGg)

Here's another one (You can argue with me but you can't argue with the success of the Beatles!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyclqo_AV2M

Am I the Only Person Who Doesn't Care About the Grammy Awards?

The title to this blog says it all. Am I the only person who doesn't care about the Grammy Awards? I saw this comment on Facebook and was relieved that there is someone who thinks like me. Sometimes I've wondered if I am the only person in the entire world who doesn't care about this stuff and doesn't watch it. I don't care about the Academy Awards or the Oscars or the Super Bowl either. They are all boring.

Yes. That's what I said! B-O-R-I-N-G! Of course all professional sports are boring. And, since pro sports are big money entertainment, they aren't what they seem. Big money equals big corruption (or haven't you been paying attention?). Anyway, who cares if some professional team beats another one? They really have nothing to do with your city (besides a contract with a stadium or auditorium) and their winning will not change your life in the least. Still people think they care. 

I also don't like these awards shows because of their high-brow attitude. I don't like "snooty high-brow" anything whereby people try to act like they are important or the center of the world (or even the center of wherever it is that they are at in any given moment.) It's like the folks who are in a members-only club; I don't like it.

I sometimes get invited to join these members-only clubs. Chuckle. I always use the Groucho Marx quote: "I refuse to join any club that would allow people like me as a member."

"Whatever it is... I'm against it!"

Today, I got an email from a friend in Hollywood who produces independent music, videos and films. He wrote:

"Wow, trying to watch the Grammy's, you were correct. You would have contracted jet lag (coming to Los Angeles) just to be bored to death. I like some country music and was very into rap before it got big, I don't hate music for being popular, but this is so mindless and bloated - I don't feel bad these people are on a sinking ship. 

It's sad because pop music can be a great thing but they are trying to symbolically respond to things like Etta James and Whitney Houston dying but it reduces everything to packaged cheese."


Yes. That's it. Totally like packaged cheese! The Grammy's are boring because it is a bunch of people giving awards to themselves for turning music into packaged cheese... The ones who can ruin the music the most and make it into the most bland and tasteless cheese sold to the same people who like stuff like McDonald's food gets the awards.


Great! Watching milk curdle! What excitement.


And what's even worse is that there are people who live such boring and unsatisfying lives that they think they actually care about this stuff...


It's too bad people have such uninteresting lives that they find this sort of Bread & Circuses entertaining or gratifying in the least.

Perfect timing for a ratings boost.... And crocodile tears...

We live in a very sick society that is fascinated by idol worship. Too bad people don't go out and get a life.


I think your average kitchen toaster offers a better evening of entertainment than the Grammy Awards do.


Thanks to Mickey Valentine and James Valentine (I don't think they are any relation!) 

Somebody Kill Me! They Now Have AKB48 Dolls for Sale! All 90 of the Girls are Now Dolls!

Argggghhhh! I've died and gone to pop schlock musick hell! The worst music unit, AKB48, since the last one Japan came out with, whoever that was, has now been made into dolls! You know, like Barbie Dolls? I know my friend Ryu Oni over at Monkeyman in Japan will just be dying to get his hands on these!

Someone get me a barf bag!


CS Net Reports: 

What if the vice president of your university were a genius producer who had put together an insanely successful pop group of 90 singers and then approved the creation of identical doll versions of them? (I'd have him killed! - Mike)

Weird? Not for Kyoto University of Art and Design and Yasushi Akimoto, the Steve Jobs of otaku (supergeeks) in Japan. The school just hosted a hit exhibition of dolls based on the gals in the band he produces, AKB48.

At 90 members, AKB48 is the Guinness-certified world's largest pop band. Its members are all females in their teens and early twenties, and all its bubble-gum singles top the charts on the day of their release. (Oh, goody! - Mike)

The music is, shall we say, an aquired taste (Read: it sucks); it sounds like arcade game tunes drenched in a massive one-part vocal harmony. Yet intense otaku fandom has lifted the hydra-headed, miniskirted band to the highest levels of Japanese acceptability. It's even acting as Japan's unofficial representative in China. (War with China, again? - Mike)

I give the new AKB48 dolls "Two thumbs up!"

Yeah, so that I can gouge out my fricking eyes!

What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan. I'll bet they'll all be undressing the dolls with one hand and playing with their pud (pardon my French) in the other. 

Hell, if the cops are going to be busting people for weird and lurid behavior at SM clubs, why aren't the police stopping this? 


The AKB48 police? Oh, now, I might have just given these people another idea to make money!

Cute Japanese High School Girls Singing... Heavy Metal? Must Be Seen/ Heard to be Believed.

Once again, Japan has the market on weird cornered. I was just turned onto this band by a friend.... Make that ex-friend.

Japan has all sorts of cute stuff and tons of cute pop stars. So cute that you want to strangle them all.... Well , maybe excepting this one. 


I don't know what to make of this... It's a new artist from Toys Factory. Toys Factory was a good label twenty years ago. The person responsible for this, though, should be shot.


But, you've got to see this to believe it. It's called "Baby Metal." Leave it to Japan to create a "cute" heavy metal group.

This is some girls from Sakura Gakuin, which sounds like a school named "Cherry Blossom School" but I suspect that this isn't a school at all. It also says that "Baby Metal is the Heavy Music section of Cherry Blossom School."

Most probably Sakura Gakuin is the name of some crappy cute girls band... Let me check for you....

..........

Oh, my freaking Jesus God in plaid! It is! Sakura Gakuin is more cute crap from pop hell!... That makes Baby Metal, cute heavy metal from... well... Hell, I guess (so if heavy metal is from hell it's supposed to be good, like Spinal Tap, right?) 

Click on the video... if you dare!

Jeez. Seriously there are people who actually buy this crap.... The girls are cute.... Just wish they'd shut their mouths....

Baby Metal... Or Sakura Gakuin.... Pick your poison. What kind of twisted and demented soul would take the girls from Sakura Gakuin and make a heavy metal unit!?.... Seriously, there are some very sick individuals running around. 

Baby Metal and Sakura Gakuin: Only in Japan. Enjoy! Er, if you can!  

"Oh Lordy, what hath befallen us?" - Exodus 16 Jackson 5