Monday, February 13, 2012

Somebody Kill Me! They Now Have AKB48 Dolls for Sale! All 90 of the Girls are Now Dolls!

Argggghhhh! I've died and gone to pop schlock musick hell! The worst music unit, AKB48, since the last one Japan came out with, whoever that was, has now been made into dolls! You know, like Barbie Dolls? I know my friend Ryu Oni over at Monkeyman in Japan will just be dying to get his hands on these!

Someone get me a barf bag!

CS Net Reports: 

What if the vice president of your university were a genius producer who had put together an insanely successful pop group of 90 singers and then approved the creation of identical doll versions of them? (I'd have him killed! - Mike)
Weird? Not for Kyoto University of Art and Design and Yasushi Akimoto, the Steve Jobs of otaku (supergeeks) in Japan. The school just hosted a hit exhibition of dolls based on the gals in the band he produces, AKB48.

At 90 members, AKB48 is the Guinness-certified world's largest pop band. Its members are all females in their teens and early twenties, and all its bubble-gum singles top the charts on the day of their release. (Oh, goody! - Mike)

The music is, shall we say, an aquired taste (Read: it sucks); it sounds like arcade game tunes drenched in a massive one-part vocal harmony. Yet intense otaku fandom has lifted the hydra-headed, miniskirted band to the highest levels of Japanese acceptability. It's even acting as Japan's unofficial representative in China. (War with China, again? - Mike)

I give the new AKB48 dolls "Two thumbs up!"

Yeah, so that I can gouge out my fricking eyes!

What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan. I'll bet they'll all be undressing the dolls with one hand and playing with their pud (pardon my French) in the other. 

Hell, if the cops are going to be busting people for weird and lurid behavior at SM clubs, why aren't the police stopping this? 

The AKB48 police? Oh, now, I might have just given these people another idea to make money!


Andrew Joseph said...

Ka-ching! Money-making scam or what? I pretty outfits to change their costumes!
It's a pity these dolls will never be seen in mint condition owing to all of the stains that will be tossed upon them.

Anonymous said...

"What makes this particularly disgusting is that girl's do not like AKB48, just geeky fat nerds in Japan."

Actually, many Japanese girls do in fact like AKB48, maybe not in the "I'll buy a doll of them" way, but many girls will buy a magazine or product if an AKB48 member is in it or endorses it. AKB48 wouldnt have gotten to where they are today if they were just liked by otaku.

Even though I am a huge idol fan, I actually do not really like AKB48, music and idol wise. However I think AKB48 and the idol industry in general has a many positive aspects to it. For instance what else would these girls be doing? Probably rotten their brains away in a public school and then once they graduate they would just end up as some boring OL. Since they are idols, they have skills that will last them a lifetime. Many former idols end up as models, or TV personalities, or actresses. Also being an idol comes with a fanbase. A fanbase that can also, last them a very long time. some of these girls when they are long retired will probably be able to have fan events and what not and make quite a lot of money off of them. Furthermore, I have had girlfriends before(Japanese ones), and none of them have come close to the purity that idols are. Idols can not have boyfriends, and with that comes loyalness. They are always loyal and express many of the good charactics that a good woman should have(note, I do not think AKB48 holds many of these attributes as just recently two, now former members were recently caught to be messing around with boys)

mike in tokyo rogers said...

Thanks Anonymous,
The idea that these idol girls do not have boyfriends is not true. They are not supposed to because it is difficult to keep it a secret. They certainly can't publicly have boyfriends. I know what I am talking about here (in the music business it is common knowledge). I've worked very closely with some over these years... Public image and real life are, of course, often very different.
As far as girls liking AKB48 I'm sure there are many. But the VAST majority of AKB48 fans are Otaku. I have three daughters and the youngest is in high school. She says none of her friends like AKB48... Younger Japanese girls seem to like Korean boy bands...


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