How to Win at Life! - Positive Thinking Will Create Your Own Luck! The Joy is in the Action!

One of the greatest hockey players in history, Wayne Gretzky, once said, "The shots you will definitely miss are the ones you don't take."


About one year ago today, I wrote a blog post entitled, "Winning at Raffles, Bingo and Winning at Life Are Exactly the Same! Here's 5 Simple Tips on How to Win at All of Them!" I know that it must have been about one year ago today because last night was the annual Bingo tournament at the local international school again and, just like last year, my son won again... In fact, he won four times out of twelve games. Granted that there's six to eight winners every game, so out of twelve games, there's a total of about 72 prizes... But in an auditorium of 700~800 people and most people playing more than two or three bingo cards, the odds of winning four times in one sitting are pretty minuscule.

A family that can spend time together having fun is winning at life!

That wasn't his record, though, one time he won five times in one sitting.

Anyway, from that blog post a year ago, "Winning at Raffles, Bingo and Winning at Life Are Exactly the Same! Here's 5 Simple Tips on How to Win at All of Them!" I wrote: 

Winning at raffles, bingo and winning at life are very, almost eerily, similar and I'd like to talk to you about that today. I think, if there is anything that I have been a massive success in my life at is that is being able to convince my children that they will win. I have shown them that the way to win is by first believing that you will win. I have even convinced - may I suggest that I brainwashed - my third daughter into believing that she would conquer "incurable" forth stage cancer. 

But before I go into theory and philosophy more, allow me to continue with telling you about the past and our "luck" and wins in all sorts of games and winning at bingo. Two years ago, we won the very top prize of a vacation to Okinawa that included hotel and airfare. Yesterday, he won the trip to New York. In February of this year, he won a gift certificate worth several hundred dollars at a very famous store in Tokyo. Last year, he won five times out of a total of 12 games or so in one tournament. Think about that; there are seven hundred people all competing at bingo trying to win the prize. To win once is enough to bring wide smiles and cheers to anybody's face. But he won five games in one night! That must be a record. Every time my son won, people were astounded. By the forth time he won, everyone was clapping for him. By the fifth time, people were verbally shouting, "That's incredible!" "I've never heard of such a thing."

Yesterday, again, when my son won the first time, people were laughing and saying, "There he goes again! He always wins!" By the time he won the second, third or even forth time, people seemed dumbfounded. Actually, I was sitting across from my son and watching him. He came awfully close to winning another six times or so. A few times, he sat with a card that almost immediately had four numbers in a row waiting for his final number to be called. But the numbers didn't come. A few times, the announcer called and called out another dozen numbers or so, until someone else finally called out "Bingo!" 

My son, after winning the four times, was going after a record-breaking (at least for him) sixth time.

Now, how does winning at bingo and winning at life relate to each other?

Well, I hate sounding like a salesman, because I'm not selling you anything, but I'm here to tell you right now you can become one of those lucky people... 

There are two really important things that you need to understand about becoming one of these lucky people. One is understanding what exactly it is that we are doing and its purpose in our life; and the second part is how these things affect your entire belief system. These two go hand in hand. 

A happy kid who actually believes... This is the true lesson I want to teach him about life... Who cares about trinkets?

The first part about understanding what it is that we are doing is, perhaps, the most important part. Today, we're using bingo as an example, so let's go with that. Think about this; is winning at bingo the best part of going to bingo? Is winning everything? I don't think so.

At bingo, I meet friends and other parents and always smile and shake their hands and say, "Hi!" We are all at bingo so, of course, the subject quickly turns to bingo. I always try to be extremely positive and say, "I always win!" They laugh. They don't believe me (the ones who knows us well don't laugh). Invariably, they all say the same thing,

"I never win." 

They say this with a voice of exasperation and defeat. Poor folks. They are totally and completely missing the point. They are really missing the boat in the bad lesson that they are unknowingly teaching their children subconsciously. Get this: I suggest to you that they are teaching their children defeatism and a losing attitude. 

I can imagine this family in my head; after "losing" at bingo (I mean they don't win a "prize"), they hop in the car and go home. Dad and mom and kids are sad because they "didn't win." When they get into the house, dad takes off his coat and gives out a very loud sigh. "We lost again!" He says.

Is that any way to teach your children how to win? Is that any way to teach your children how to be positive?  

Here is what I always tell my son before we play bingo;

"Remember the best part of bingo is not in the "winning," it is in the "doing." Just being able to be here playing bingo is winning. This is fun and it is a wonderfully exciting time we spend together. Just by being here, we have already won. So smile and let's have fun!" 

It is. Playing bingo with my wife and son is a great memory and it is so very much fun. 

I tell my son this because I want him to be a winner. I want him to understand what "being a winner" truly is. This sort of thinking, this positive attitude, actually, I learned from an old Zen Buddhist saying,

"The joy is in the action, not in the result."

Can you understand this concept? The joy is in the action, not the result. Get it? I think people who truly love to paint or fish or golf, etc., can understand this. For the painter, a beautiful work is nice, but the true value and joy is not the finished painting, it is in the action of painting. For the fisherman, of course catching a fish is fun, but the true joy is standing there alone in front of nature and contemplating life - the joy is in the doing; for the golfer, the winning score is interesting, but soon forgotten; the real joy is in the day and the time considering the play. For all of them, the real value is in the action, not in the result. 

This is what is meant by, "The joy is in the action, not in the result."

Now, do you understand why, whether or not my son wins a big prize (a trinket), he knows, he believes and knows in his heart that he is a true winner? Can anyone deny that, regardless of prize, that we won merely by being able to go and play together and enjoy this moment together on our short time on this earth? 

So, friends, think about what is really important! Is it a trinket? Think about it; how many others are suffering? How many families would love to visit bingo together as a family but one child is ill in the hospital with a deadly disease? How many people in this world can't enjoy even having shoes upon their feet? Yet these families can come to the bingo event with their children and enjoy a wonderful exciting time together! Spending this short fleeting time with ones children while you can is winning in every sense of the word.

If your kids are healthy and you have the time to spend with them at a school function playing Bingo, or even reading a book together then, trust me, you have already won..... You are alive. You are together. You and your child are healthy? You are a winner.

So remember, my friends, what winning really is. Is it getting a package of trinkets or tickets to go somewhere or is it spending a lovely time together and giving your child your complete and total self and your dedication and time? 

No! We have "won" simply because we are there together having fun! Who cares about some trinkets?

So for this morning, look at your children. Do you have a happy and healthy family? Yes? Then remember, that whether it is a bingo or a raffle or a drawing, daily life or whatever; if your children are healthy and you are spending a fun time together with them, that alone makes you a grand prize winner in life! Never forget that.

So smile and say, "Yes! I won!"

Some people will scoff at this (they have a losing attitude). But let me ask you to consider this question: There are two children. They both have to go to school. One wakes up in the morning and says, "I don't want to go to school. School is no fun." The other wakes up and says, "I want to go to school. School is fun." Which kid gets good grades at school? Which kid becomes successful at school? Which kid is positive, is popular, gets the best girlfriend or boyfriend and becomes class king or class queen?

Simple, isn't it? It is the old chicken and the egg problem. Which came first? The kid liking school or the positive attitude? Which came first? Hating school or the negative attitude? And how did these children get these attitudes?

How do these attitudes affect our belief system? How can we change these attitudes? And, if we have children, how can we stop teaching them bad attitudes and start teaching them beneficial ones?

I think it is obvious how these attitudes affect our belief system. In the example above, do you want to be like the father above who comes home exasperated and continually expressed doubt and a defeatist attitude to himself or his children, or, do you want to be the person who understands that the joy is in the action and not the result?

Again, yesterday, before bingo started, I met a few people who claimed that my family always wins and that their family never wins. Again, I said to them what I always say,

"With saying that, it is very difficult for you to win. Imagine the Wright Brothers! Do you think they could have flown in an airplane had they not believed they could fly? Don't you think that everyone told them it was impossible? If you think you won't win, isn't that a sort of 'self-fulling prophesy'?

Many people told the Wright Brothers that, "If god had meant man to fly, he'd have given man wings." But the Wright Brothers didn't listen. They believed and their belief made them succeed. Do you think they could succeed if they didn't believe? Everyone knows the power of positive thinking!

Take the story of Jesus walking on water. In my thinking, man cannot walk on water; it is impossible. But, I believe that this story about Jesus is not literal. What I believe it represents is Jesus preaching faith and belief (read: the power of positive thinking). Of course man cannot walk on water. Walking on water is impossible. But! If man believes that he can accomplish the impossible, then he can.

That's what the story about Jesus walking on water represents to me... So can man walk on water? No! That's impossible, but in Matthew 14, Jesus walked on water and accomplished the impossible. See what I mean? The story of Jesus walking on water seems a parable to me to mean that if you believe, if you really believe, you can move mountains.... 

Gee, moving a mountain is impossible too... But people do that too!"

Believe and you can win! It doesn't matter if it's something as silly as bingo or a raffle... But believe and be positive and you can win at much more important things like life, love and success.

And now, from that former post, here's tips on concrete things that you can do  to turn your situation around and make things better STARTING RIGHT NOW:

From today, here's five things that you need to do to start on the track to believing that you can win at bingo and win at life:

1) Write down on three pieces of paper the saying, "The joy is in the action, not in the result." Tape one of the pieces of paper to the refrigerator and tape one in your car where you see it constantly and the last one in your wallet. Think about that phrase a lot. Repeat it out loud whenever or wherever you can.

2) Get a dollar notebook and start writing down your top 10 goals for your life and do it everyday! Here's how.

3) Wake up in the morning and the first thing you MUST do is think: "Smile! Today is going to be a great day!" If you can't remember to do this by yourself, then write it in large red letters on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror.

4) Start using the Law of Attraction and positivity to create a good self-fulling prophesy to help you. Here's how. 

5) Start greeting everyone you meet with a happy and healthy "Hello!" or "Good Morning!" Stop sounding like you are dead to the world. If you greet people with an un-energetic salutation then you sound like you are losing. Stop it immediately. Everyone is searching for positive people. You should be that person. Instead of being "dark" and absorbing light like a sponge, you should give out light. People are attracted to light.

And, number six, OK, I said there'd be only five, so sue me...

6) Call your mom or dad or kids and tell them you love them and do it RIGHT NOW! Don't hesitate! Or, better yet, give them a great big hug and tell them yourself how much you love them and how beautiful they are. Realize that today is a fantastic day and you all are the luckiest people in the world... (Oh, and of you do go to bingo, take grandma... She's lucky, right?) 

Some people read this and think that I am a very lucky person. I am. But I've been through two divorces, a war with cancer, family members dying in bizarre car accidents, worrying about work as we all do (nothing special)... I've been through a lot of difficult times... But you know what? I never forget something special; I know that projecting negativity will just make things worse; I know that projecting positivity, in the face of great challenges, is creating a good outcome for myself and my loved ones through the power of the Law of Attraction. I know that, by being happy and thankful that I create a better situation for you and a better situation for myself.

Remember my friends, "The joy is in the action, not in the result."

Stay happy. Stay positive. Spread positivity. You already possess the greatest prize of all.

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NOTES: More tips on winning at life, being more positive and a better parent:

One Easy Step to Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life

Pocket Notebooks - the Secret of Millionaires and People Won't Listen

How to Stop Worrying so much and Become More Successful at Life

Make Your Own Success

One Easy Step To Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life 

Power of Positive Thinking and Self Fulfilling Prophesy 

Positive Thinking: The Story of A Guy Who Defeated 4th Stage Cancer - Two Sides of the Positive/Negative Thinking Coin 

Wishing, Hoping and Believing

Wishing, hoping and believing. The three are close in definition. But there's a huge difference. I think people too often get them confused and use them interchangeably to their own disadvantage. I think it is best to know exactly what they mean. Words have meanings and using them incorrectly can cause a disadvantageous situation.

Wish is an intransitive verb. Merriam Webster defines "wish" as, "To have a desire for (as something unattainable)." Related words are, "crave," "hunger," "covet," "desire."

"Unattainable"? Well, that's no good. It looks to me here that "wish" is sort of a waste of time.

"Hope" is defined as, "To cherish as desire with anticipation," or "to desire with expectation of obtainment."  "Expectation of obtainment"? Well, that's a bit better.

How about believing? "Believe" is defined as "To have a firm religious faith" or "to accept something as true, genuine or real."

I think, often times, that wishing and hoping can be a waste of time... Wishing is fine for children... Hoping too... But hoping, for adults, can be an awful waste of time.... I often hear from people at work situations that they "hope" things get better... Folks, "Hope" is a terrible business plan.

Hoping that things get better at work is like being a leaf on the ocean being blown every which way. Is this your plan for your future and for your families well-being? Hope?

Belief....Believing, and only believing, is the only one of the three that can deliver your hearts desire. Believing, along with doing the necessary preparation in order to achieve your beliefs, is what must be done.

Think about when the Wright Brother's made their first airplane flight or the old story in the bible when Jesus walked on water. It was impossible for man to fly. Did the Wright Brothers fly because of hope or because of wishes? No. They flew, in spite of all, because they believed that they could and they made the preparations in order to do so.

I also believe that the story of Jesus walking on water is a parable. Everyone knows that it is impossible for man to walk on water (even if he is the son of god - you and I are the son, the children, of god.... Don't they say we are all god's children?) So, I think the story of Jesus walking on water is a representation that if you believe, really believe, then you can do the impossible. After walking on water Jesus said, "I told you. All you have to do is to believe."

Belief moves mountains.

Also, instead of always wanting more and always climbing that mountain towards success, you also need to stop and make base camp. One cannot simply climb and climb Mount Everest. They must stop along the way to daily create base camp to rest before they can continue the journey the next day. You must do the same. You need to stop and to take an assessment of what you have and to give thanks to your loved ones and to your god.

Here's what I do, and I do this religiously everyday; I write down in my notebook this, "Thank you god for all the truly wonderful things I have and all the truly wonderful things I am about to receive."

I do this because, instead of always wanting and wishing, and hoping, or desiring things, I want to give thanks for the great things I already have. If I can wake up everyday and know in my heart, really believe, that I am one of, if not thee, most fortunate people in the world, I will create a positive and happy existence for myself and my loved ones and all the people who I come in contact with.  

I have another friend who has an ill partner. We met the other day and I related this story to him:

When my 1 1/2 year old daughter was diagnosed as having a rare, deadly childhood cancer, I was devastated. She was given a very low chance of survival. That particular type of cancer is extremely rare and, in Japan, about 2 or 3 kids get it a year... Most of them die within the first 6 months.

I sought out the help of a professional priest to help me and guide me with the battle I was about to enter alongside my daughter and my wife.

One day, at the beginning when I was especially distraught and worried, I told the priest, 

"I have realized how to cure my daughter and have come to understand the way. All I need to do is to get the doctors and nurses to believe, to really believe, in their hearts, that she will recover and then she will. That's what I must do."

To that, the priest replied,

"Mike! It doesn't matter what they believe. All that matters is what you believe."

Those words! That moment! It was like the skies opened up and god reached his hand down to me. 

Of course! It was all so simple! Why didn't I see it sooner? It only matters what I believe! My belief can move mountains! 

From then on, I didn't wish nor want, nor hope, that my daughter would recover from this rare and terrible disease, I knew. I knew it without a doubt. I also prepared and did what was necessary for that outcome because I believed. 

That was 16 years ago. My daughter is now a healthy, happy, beautiful high school student looking forward to college someday soon. 

She is only the second child to have ever overcome that cancer in Japan's history. She won't be the last.

At 16-years-old

You can do this too. Anyone can. Like Jesus said, "All you need to do is to have faith."

From today, take account of all the good things you have. Be thankful for them. If you have a sorrow, then take account of that too and do what is necessary and what is required so that you can believe in a positive and good outcome.

The only things that can be borne out of fear and worry will be more of the same. Prepare and do what is necessary and believe in the positive outcome.

You can create your own reality. You can accomplish the impossible. And when you do, don't be surprised, you won't have been the first and you certainly won't be the last.

Jesus Walks on Water Mark 6:45 ~ 51

⁴⁷ Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. ⁴⁸ He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, ⁴⁹ but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, ⁵⁰ because they all saw him and were terrified.

   Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ⁵¹ Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed.  

For Wendy... You amazed us all (except daddy. I knew you could do it). Thanks for your love and inspiration.

Positive Thinking and How You Can Jigsaw on Water!

Hey, you know that story from the bible about Jesus walking on the water? Yeah. It's a true story.

But before you jump up and down and think, "Mike's gone Christian zealotry!" Listen to this...

Let me explain. 

It is impossible to walk on water. Can't be done. 

But I believe that this story about Jesus walking on water is not to be taken literally. This walking on water is a parable of sorts. 

Both you and I know that man cannot walk on water. It's impossible! 

In the bible, when Jesus walked on water, another disciple did too, but that disciple became fearful and fell in the water. Jesus held out his hand and pulled the guy up and said something about the disciple having, "Little faith." 

What does this "Little faith" mean? 

I think it's simple, really. It's all the same. Call it what you want: Faith, belief, positive thinking, PMA, total optimism, whatever. ... they are all the same.

Walking on water is impossible. Can't be done. 

But the impossible can be done if you believe that you can accomplish something. 

Jigsaw Seen - Walking on water?

Imagine if the Wright Brothers didn't believe that they could fly, could they have? No! People told them "If God had intended man to fly, God would have given man wings!" Yet the brothers believed. And since they believed (had faith, positive thinking, PMA, total optimism) they were able to figure out how to fly.

Their belief moved mountains! Thus they were able to do the impossible: they flew!.... See? Jesus walking on water is not literal. It is figurative. Man flying is impossible, but they did it.... Belief can move mountains.... 

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This article is dedicated to my friend Jonathan Lea from the Jigsaw Seen. Jonathan wrote to me, 

"Mike, I do believe that anything is possible, of all The Kinks fans in the world, I am the only one that plays guitar with Dave Davies, my biggest influence when I was a teenager (I know it's not walking on water but still)."

I wrote back to him: "Jonathan, Nah, for most people I think that playing with Ray Davies of the Kinks is like walking on water." (Hell, "Walking on water?" No way! That's like walking three feet in the air!)

For more see: Matthew 14:31 (Very interesting stories... But just don't take this stuff too literally!)

My Best Friend Died

This is a very difficult post to write.


My best friend's name was David. His picture was on the front page of the newspaper. The newspaper said, "David, Father Die in Boating Accident." 

"That's impossible!" I thought. I didn't want to believe it. I read and reread the newspaper article over and over in the hopes that I was misunderstanding what I was reading. I was hoping it meant that 'David's father died. But not David.' 


Forgive me for wishing such a morbid thing, but that's what I thought.


...But there was no misunderstanding. David was dead.


I cried and cried. How could that possibly have happened? I just saw him the day before and we talked and had fun. We always had fun. David was my very best friend.


I think David was everyone's best friend because he was such a nice guy. 


When I heard the news, and realized it wasn't a mistake, I cried all day. I desperately wanted to know how it happened and why it happened. I wanted to know the exact details. I called my friends and, a few days later, they had a school meeting for classmates and explained to us about the accident. 


But I still wasn't satisfied with the details. Besides how and what, I wanted to know "why"? Why did god allow this to happen to my best friend? Why did god allow this to happen to such a good person? 


After all the questions I asked and all the details I found, I found out that they were fishing in the Lake of the Woods. The boat was overloaded and slipped under water and that the dad had tried to save David but the water was too cold and they both drowned.


That's how it happened. That still didn't answer the question for me as to why it happened. 


I was upset. "Why did god allow this to happen?" "Why does god allow bad things to happen to good people?" 


David was 7-years-old and he was boating and fishing with his dad in a lake in Minnesota. The photo of him on the front page of the newspaper was the class photo they took of him from our second grade class. I recognized it immediately.


That was 47 years ago. In 1964.


What a waste. He was a handsome kid. I think I was jealous of him because I thought he was more handsome than me. I wonder what he would have become had he lived? 


I have thought about David off and on over these past decades. Yesterday, memories of David suddenly came back to me like a shot to the head.


My own seven-year-old son was off to a friend's house to play with some other of his friends. I was sleeping on the sofa in the living room when my wife returned from the friend's house and she was very flustered. She woke me up. Her face was all red and she seemed like she was about to cry.


I was still half asleep. She started rambling on about something and it was difficult to follow what she wanted to say. It was concerning one of the boys who was supposed to come and play with my son and the others but couldn't make it that day. When my son's friend's mom had called that boy's father to ask about his absence, the father had said something like "He can't come to play as he is, 'no more.'"


He is "no more?"


My son's friend's mom is not a native English speaker so when my son (and her son) heard this "no more" they were sure she merely misunderstood and laughed about it. Why not? They were just playing with him at school yesterday and kicking the soccer ball around together.


This boy was happy as can be and as fit as a fiddle and had the whole world and his entire life in front of him... He was one of the top students in class. He was one of my son's best friends; he was everyone's best friend. He couldn't be "no more." That couldn't happen.


My son goes to a school with a large international enrollment. There are children at that school who come from all over the world. Some of their parents do not speak English well so sometimes there are miscommunications. My wife told me about this conversation and asked me to confirm if, "...he is, 'no more'" means what we think it means.


I called the boy's house, there was no answer. Then, against my better judgement, and against common courtesy, I called a cell phone number that is listed on the class schedule given to parents to be used in cases of emergency. I talked to the father.


I knew immediately from the tone of his voice what the meaning of "No more" was. It was exactly what you or I would fear it meant.


The poor boy had died the night before. I said, "I'm sorry" and "God bless you all" and hung up the phone. 


I thought immediately of my friend David from so many years ago. Here he was visiting me again. 


I also immediately thought of what I was going to tell my son and his other seven year old friends. Like I said, they didn't believe it. Why should they? It is unbelievable.  


How did this wonderful little boy die? We don't know yet. We will know how someday soon, I reckon. But we will never know "why."


Maybe the "why" is for each of us to decide for ourselves. I'm not sure.


I went to my son's friend's house to report the news. When the mother saw my face, she knew the news. I asked that she sit down and the kids playing to sit down also. I didn't beat around the bush. I told them the truth. 


There was stone silence. 


I'm not a priest, minister or man of the cloth so I didn't know what to say, but everyone was looking at me expectantly so I knew I had to say something. I spoke,


"I'm sure you will find out at school next week what happened to your friend. Now, I don't know. But, even when we find out what happened, it will always be difficult to understand why it happened.... 


When I was a little boy, I had a similar experience; my best friend drowned in a lake. I was so sad. I found out later how he died, but I never found out why. That's been many years ago and I still don't know why....


...All you can do now is to pray that he is happy and in a safe, warm place. And you must thank god for giving you the time you had to spend with this wonderful friend. Of course, you are sad and will miss him, but always thank god for the time you had and shared with your wonderful friend.... he will always be with you in your hearts...


Also remember that life is very short and we have to be very careful everyday. Accidents happen and, even though I am happy and healthy today, I could be hit by a car and killed or put in the hospital tomorrow, so we must be very careful when crossing streets or when walking near cars. It's always the car you don't see that is the one that hits you....


Pray for your friend and his family and always appreciate your friends that you have now. Give them a hug; give your parents a hug and thank god that you have such good friends and a mother and father who loves you very much."


I stuttered and stopped... I looked at their faces and they seemed to be thinking, "What is he talking about?"


I wanted to say, and should have said, something profound but I couldn't. I wanted to say something that would have made it all alright and set things straight. But I couldn't. What I said was lame. It was the minimum that had to be said, I suppose. 


Still silent, the kids all stared at me, eyes wide open and expressionless. The silence filled the room.


I sighed, paused and awkwardly looked at the floor. I didn't know what to do or say. I lightly slapped both hands on my knees and stood up. I meekly told the mother that I'd be back in a few hours to pick up my son as the kids held hands.


The kids were sad but they weren't crying. I think they still found it unbelievable that their friend could actually be gone so it hasn't sunk in what exactly has happened.


It may not sink in for 40 or 50 years. It didn't for me. Even then, as with me, they might know how, but they will probably never know exactly, "why"? 


Come to think of it, is there really ever a reason "why"?


There are lessons, I suppose. The lesson for me is that bad things do happen to good people. That can't be stopped. The only thing we can do is to try to learn something from it that can help the survivors to lead happier lives and become better people.


Later on when my son comes home, I'm going to hug him and try to explain the saying my good friend Ken always lives by. Ken says,


"Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die tomorrow."


I hope the lesson of David and my son's friend helps my own son and his friends. I also hope it helps others as it has helped me, to become, if even a little bit, a better person (I hope). It has taken me nearly 50 years to write down this tribute to my dear friend David. Now, his death taught me a lesson that I can teach my son.


Remember to hug your kids today and tell them that you love them and that they are beautiful. And, of course, teach them to dream and to live each day to the fullest and to appreciate all the wonderful things this earth and god has given us.


They say that tomorrow never comes, but tomorrow, I think, tomorrow often comes much too quickly.

Recurring Dreams and Alternate Universes

I think most people have recurring dreams. If most people don't, then maybe I am just weird because I have had the same five recurring dreams over and over for these last 27 years. Do you have recurring dreams? 

Since moving to Japan, I have had basically five recurring dreams. But, now that I think about it, one of these dreams, the dreams of me flying like a bird or a jet plane, stopped a few years ago.


I wonder why my dreams of flight have disappeared? Maybe because I turned 50 and stopped dreaming like a 17-year-old? No, I don't think it is that because I still feel like a 17-year-old many times (just won't be doing the crazy things I used to do).


The first of the five recurring dreams I've had was flying in the skies. They started when I was a small boy. In my dreams could fly like Icarus. Can you fly in your dreams? Those are fun dreams... Sometimes, I guess when my condition wasn't so great, I'd have a hard time achieving lift-off in my dream. I'd have to run and flap my arms as hard as I could until I took off. Sometimes it was a great effort and I had to try over and over. Other times, I was just like a graceful bird; a tiny step and jump and I was off soaring like an eagle in the clouds.


Then, when I got to about 30 or so, I could fly like a jet plane. In fact, many times I knew I was dreaming and that I was flying. I figured it was some sort of alternate universe and so I rode it like a snow-boarder rides the snow or a surfer rides the waves. I knew I was dreaming but didn't care. When  could really fly and fly like a rocket, doing a thousand miles and hour, I would consider flying over the Pacific Ocean and going to the United States to fly over my parents house.


Weird thing is that I would fly out a few hundred miles from the coast of Japan, look over the water, and turn around because I'd start getting scared. Scared that I would wake up and be flying over the cold ocean, fall into it, and have to swim back. I used to be a good swimmer, but not that good. Being so high over such deep water freaked me out so I'd turn back. Even though I knew it was just a dream.


The other problem with flying to the USA like a 747 in my dreams was that, at such high speeds, I had a difficult time turning and would often continue on a straight line when I wanted to make a hard left turn.


Sounds ridiculous because it was all a dream and I knew it, but I also felt that, somewhere in my heart, dreams were and alternate universe and a reflection on reality. I guess I still do.


Another dream that often occurred was fishing. I love fishing. Before I moved to japan, I went fishing every week. Sometimes two or three times a week. Fishing is heaven. Fishing is spiritual and fishing is close to God.

There is a saying about fishing. It goes like this: "Do you know what the difference is between a religious man and a spiritual man? A religious man goes to church and thinks about fishing. A spiritual man goes fishing and thinks about god."


I am a spiritual man. I'd go fishing everyday of the week if I could.


I used to dream about fishing at least once a week when I first came to Japan. Sometimes I dreamt about it every night for days in a row. That's because it is difficult to go fishing in Japan and I had been an avid fisherman since I was a small boy living in Minnesota. Minnesota is known as the "Land of 10,000 Lakes" so fishing is a lifestyle there.


Fishing in Japan, Tokyo especially, though, is a chore. Japan is a crowded place and the good areas for fishing on the coastline are usually taken by the local fishing collective so they don't take too kindly to your fishing in their good spots... In fact, they might give you the boot up the ass if they catch you fishing in their prime areas. Going fishing in Japan is not like the USA where you can just grab a rod and reel and head off to the lake or shoreline. In Japan, fishing is an all-day expedition like 18 holes of golf: You need a plan and it costs lots of money.


My other two recurring dreams, or maybe I should say nightmares, are related to work. Whenever work is going poorly or I worry about bankruptcy or the economy going down the tubes (an understandable and common recent worry since 2008) I have bad dreams of returning to the USA and going back to my old jobs. 


The worse job is returning to Prudential to the same old office and working with those dishonest people that I wrote about yesterday in Working With Thieves, Liars and Crooks. The weird part of the dream is that I am always scheming about returning to Japan and, even after one year, haven't sold one single contract yet they do not fire me in my dream.


Talk about being able to live off one's laurels!


The other work-related dream is that I go back to working at a Sears, Roebuck and Company in Ventura, California (it was in Oxnard when I worked there, but has since moved causing the city of Oxnard to sue the city of Ventura, but that's another story about the insanity of the USA).


When I was 17 I started working at Sears in the catalogue ordering department and then transferred to commission sales in the Photo & Office Equipment department. As a commission salesman, I made a heck of a lot of money in the late 1970's.


In my dreams, for some bizarre reason, I go back there and have to work in the sewing machine and vacuum cleaner department selling poorly made and badly designed Sears equipment. The nightmarish part of the entire thing, besides selling this poorly designed and quite unstylish junk, the same management is there at the company running around doing their weird hijinks.


There is the store manager, whose name escapes me, but he was a very short, yet handsome man. He dumped his beautiful wife and four beautiful daughters (whom he often brought to the store) to marry another woman (who he soon also brought to the store). I always noticed the daughter because they were very beautiful girls. He got his lightening strike from god when, soon after the divorce and marriage, he was diagnosed with some sort of brain cancer. No kidding. I think he soon died after that. 


Then there was a guy named Walter who was a section chief who was married but he ran around unable to control his libido and was trying to take every woman working at the store to bed. I guess his wife got fed up with it one day and dumped him and got another boyfriend.


Walt, being like the immature little boy he was, then decided that he wanted his "toy" back (the wife he disrespected and treated like sh*t) and, from what I understand, went screaming drunk to the boyfriend's house while she was there and started banging on the door and breaking it down.


The boyfriend shot him and killed him.


Later, after the funeral that I didn't attend, many Sears employees were complaining that the wife was wearing black but didn't seem sad. I heard them complaining about that and said nothing. It did nothing for me but confuse me as to what was really important to these people and what they were thinking about. 


There were lots of really weird things going on at Sears at that time. I found the same types of problems when I got myself transferred to the Sears in San Fernando Valley and found that store, too, was full of some very twisted people whose priorities were not success of the business and success of their personnel and staff but protection of their position and attempting to continue their lives acting like high school students with their idiotic politics and clicks.


But, I digress....


These are the recurring dreams I often have. Even in the case of Sears or my old jobs, it is nice to be able to see my old friends and to remember them in their beautiful youth. Even when I have nightmares, I am able to realize that they are nightmares and am able to view them like a movie so they rarely scare me. 


I went to see my sick old dad a few weeks ago. He wasn't the same person that I will always remember. In my dreams, he is a young and handsome 30+ some year old Marine wrestling with us kids in the yard. For the sick, aged and ill, dreams are an escape. Back to better times and the treasures of youth. 


Surely, dreams are one of the best things about living that there could possibly be. I look forward to sleeping every night and I look forward to the dreams of my youth.

How about your dreams? I think if you wake up and think, "Today is going to be great" and you keep track and write down your goals, you can control your dreams and make sure they are positive. Try it. For more on that, read, One Easy Step to Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life.