Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Sexy Japanese Girls Like Men's White Briefs! Who Could Have Known? I Did!

All riiiiight! Japanese women get turned on by men wearing white briefs? After 50+ some years of doing so, it shows just want a trend-setting virile "sex god" I am! May I brag? I've been wearing short white men's briefs for years! (Not the same ones either!) Since my mom first bought me a pair when I stopped pooping in my pants I've been wearing briefs... I think I was in 4th or 5th grade in elementary school!

Yes! I am a sex god!!!!

I love the Tokyo Reporter. They have the funniest and wildest stories over there that are taken and translated from typical Japanese gossipy and weekly magazines. It's the kind of stuff that titillates (am I allowed to use that word?) the average Japanese husband or housewife.

I think the Tokyo Reporter gives me a perfect bird's eye view of what's really going on with the average Japanese Joe and Jane in this country.

Today's cool story is about how white brief underwear are now back in vogue!

Tokyo Reporter: "Women Going Wild Over Men's Briefs"

Several decades ago, most Japanese men wore white briefs (a.k.a. Jockey Shorts). But for various they began falling out of favor with women and their sales plummeted, to about half of what they were at the peak.

Shukan Post (Sep. 16-23), however, reports that since last summer white men’s briefs appear to have made something of a comeback....

...lovelorn advice columnist Mikako Kikuchi writes that “The times have changed.” To wit, while an overwhelming majority of females say they don’t particularly like to see men wearing white briefs, the number who now prefer them has increased.

“Women seek ‘security,’” says Kikuchi. Since the catastrophic earthquake and tsunami on March 11, they realized that a man’s income or job position didn’t count for much. Instead, they sought men who had the vitality to survive, even in the wild. And to these women, claims Kikuchi, men wearing white briefs come across as masculine hunks.

“White briefs are easy to become begrimed and spotted, so some guys who wear them are showing confidence in their ability to keep them clean. On the other hand if the guy isn’t concerned about them showing stains, it heightens his masculinity, as a wild, uncivilized type.

“When I meet up with guys in white briefs, I really get turned on!” Kikuchi confesses. 

Read the rest at Tokyo Reporter!

Isn't this great news guys? She writes: “White briefs are easy to become begrimed and spotted, so some guys who wear them are showing confidence in their ability to keep them clean." She's right! We do how to keep them clean! (Hint: when dirty after a few days, just turn them inside out!) And I do absolutely agree  that wearing white briefs shows confidence... Or, at least, it shows you don't give a sh*t about your underwear. 

I certainly don't.

Wow! Women get turned on when seeing guys in white briefs?! Women seek security? Yes! I am vindicated! 

Take that Susan Peck!!!!

Oh? "Who is Susan Peck, you ask?" She is the girl who gave me my BTSD (Brief Traumatic Stress Disorder)... Susan was an awesomely hot and sexy Japanese smokin' babe! (Well, she was half-Japanese!) She was my girlfriend for a short while when I was 19 or 20 or so... I've never forgotten, nor forgiven, her for how she ruined my life because she didn't like my underwear... 

It was 1979, I was the lead singer of a punk band (there were few of those in Los Angeles at that time). It was a great time for me and my gift to punk rock! 

In Santa Barbara for a gig in 1979

It was also the time when all the guys started wearing boxer shorts. Not me. I hated boxer shorts as they would bunch up in my butt crack and make me quite uncomfortable. Being a guy brought up as a cog in a consumer society, I wasn't into discomfort.

I liked the briefs mom bought for me at K-Mart. 

At that time, for a very short while, Susan was my girlfriend. Susan was a very beautiful girl and the former class queen at her high school. I was in lust with her (all the other guys were too! She was hot!) I would take her to my band's concerts and then I would try to get her to make out with me in my car.

I liked her because she was so pretty. I think she liked me because I was the singer for a so-so famous punk band (those being trendy and all at that time).

Artist's rendition of Susan

Since Susan was so babelicious, she had a lot of boyfriends who were lots older and more experienced than me, I'm sure, and since they had more experience and brains they took her to nice places like expensive restaurants, fashionable clubs and five-star hotels, etc. 

Since I was stoopid and a cheap skate, I took her to local concerts, cheap assed cinemas and preferred the back seat of my car for sex (cheaper, more exciting and quite "Randy" in the backseat of a car!)

Anyway, one of the few times we did stay in a hotel, I took off my jeans and there she saw that I was wearing white briefs and not boxers. She didn't like that. I think it turned her off totally. She asked why I didn't wear boxers. I told her that I didn't like them at all. I also was very conceited, had massive confidence about myself, and couldn't give a sh*t about underwear anyway... 

How could I have known girls like men's underwear so much? I thought it was just the guys who had underwear fetishisms!

I got irritated at her and growled, "What!? Are you dating me or are you dating my underwear?!" 

..and I... 
...for long....

Anyhow, girls getting turned on by white briefs is great news , eh guys? It shows that we do not need to wear sexy boxers that bunch up our butt cracks and make us uncomfortable and it saves us from having to shop!

How does this news save us from having to shop? Well, if you are like me then you've probably never bought underwear in your life.

When I was a kid, mom always bought it. Then, when you get a bit older, grandma buys them for you... (Thanks grandma for ruining my future marriage to Susan!!!) 

Then after getting married, your wife always buys it for you. (Hint: Guys! Never, but never allow your secretary to buy your underwear!)

The only people now who ever get see my underwear are my wife and kids (and grandma). No outsiders ever get that privilege... Oh, excepting my doctor and my acupuncturist and they are men... 

Hopefully, those two guys don't get turned on by my underwear...

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