Guys! Drink Like a Man! (the Ladies are Watching!)

Guys and ladies! Here's some great stuff for you about drinking and what drinking means to your relationship with the opposite sex!


I love reading Lew Rockwell.com. I read it religiously everyday. From reading Lew's blog everyday I've come to really understand just how messed up our government's are and how, in spite of those government's propaganda, the people's real enemy is their own government.


Those who have been paying attention should probably already know this but it bears repeating as much as possible. 


I also like reading Lew Rockwell for the great articles on life and 'how things are or how they should be.' I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get their head on straight and start filtering through all the crap and understand economics, manners and how this world really (or should but doesn't) works. Besides Lew's own articles, he has on board, some of the best writers in the USA and Canada today.


In today's Lew Rockwell, I found an article that, as a drinking man, was very interesting to me. It was an article that states the opinion (I think it is absolutely correct) that what you drink says a lot about you. It also says that ladies are judging you by what you drink! (If so, I got troubles!) 


This article was definitely written for an American audience. In Japan some things are different so I'll add on a "Japan addendum" at the end...


Here's the article in yellow highlight (with my comments, in white, of course!): 


What your cocktail says about you

Ever wonder why women always seem to be eavesdropping on your chats with the bartender? Well, the truth is, she’s probably judging your drink. 

Well, no. When does that ever happen? I think this guy watches too much TV! In Japan, She's probably hopping to the bar because the bartendar is a much more interesting guy than the rest of us guy customers are put together! Come on you guys! Get with the program here!

Maybe she knows, for example, what drinking whiskey says about you, even more than you do. Or what drinking beer says about you. Or what–shudder–drinking screwdrivers says about you.

Perhaps it’s time to revamp your glass. Or at least evaluate what your cocktail says about you. Here’s what she’s hearing…

What drinking whiskey says about you

Whiskey draws to mind a burly sort. This means that however well-groomed and well-versed you are, you’ve got the soul of a backwoodsman. What does drinking whiskey say about you? Whiskey implies to a woman that you’ve got the chutzpah to hammer down a door and hang a ceiling fan or, at least, ride a horse. It’s not important that you’re capable of any of these things. It matters more that you’ve got the dark mind, isolated heart and gritted teeth to bear the bitter taste; this is what a woman expects from whiskey. And it’s generally acknowledged that bosses respect whiskey drinkers more so than drinkers of almost any other sort.

You know... I never really thought about this... I can drink whiskey but prefer not to. I don't like the smell and I really don't like the taste... Good thing too. I hate carpentry work. Though I can say that I have two cases of this stuff in my cellar in case the end of the world comes. I bought whisky because I know that I won't touch it unless I really have to! Great idea, eh? In Japan, I think only older guys with some money drink this stuff.

What drinking martinis says about you

If you order a martini, you’re practically plastering a sign on your face that reads, “I have good taste. I have good money. I’m exhausted from my high-paying, suit-requiring career.” Martinis are no little thing. It’s not often a woman hears a young man ordering a martini. A martini means specificity, style and a small desire to be James Bond. In fact, it’s wise to only drink martinis straight up if you’ve got such broad shoulders, dashing suits and natural charm. Otherwise, go for on-the-rocks (and non-fruity-flavored types), which will slightly tone down the bold statement and relieve you of feeling watched while you’re sipping. Martinis are a general hit with executives and clients of any kind.

Hey! I like drinking martinis (make sure it is Tanqueray Gin only!)! I used to order a double martini at my favorite Italian restaurant here in Tokyo before dinner every time we went there (it's not there anymore)... Then, after a second, I'd slither off my chair like a glob of half melted jello and my wife would have to drive us home. Good times! Good times! I can't say that I have ever seen any Japanese person order one of these. 

What drinking mojitos says about you

Mojitos can be tricky, because mojitos served at various restaurant often resemble different drinks. If the glass is simply prepped with mint leaves, a lime slice, ice and the drink itself, you should be fine. In fact, this would give an impression of relaxed exoticism (i.e. confident and intriguingly adventurous.) However, if the glass arrives and seems to steal attention from your appearance rather than add to it, meaning that it magnetizes eyes over its frilly, brightly colored features, go the bathroom and drain it as quickly as possible. There’s no need to subject yourself to whispers for sipping what seems to be a peculiar cocktail too flavored to get you favored by onlookers. Unless you are vacationing at a vast beach resort or lunching at an ethnic restaurant, try to avoid the mojito if you want to meet women.

Mojitos!? With a name like this that sounds like it must be a Tequila based drink! If so, no thank you! When I graduated from college, my roommate Pete and Toru Taguchi drank 3 quarts of tequila by ourselves and I fell down two flights of stairs and cracked my head open. I had a massive hangover for three days after that. My hair even hurt! Good times! Good times! 

I'll never drink tequila again as long as I live... Oh, but I have been seeing pre-mixed mojitos in bottles at night clubs here in Tokyo... Pre-mixed cocktails!? Yuck! Tastes awful! 

What drinking screwdrivers says about you

No beautiful woman ever starts the story of how she met her husband with these words. “I saw him across the bar, drinking a screwdriver…” No boss ever clasped his prize employee’s shoulder and toasted their screwdrivers.

I thought screwdrivers were only good in the mornings at home alone (after a heavy night drinking) and with only fresh squeezed orange juice... This writer doesn't say it, but if you want to drink and not wind up "screaming for O'rourke" then don't be drinking stuff like screwdrivers... In Japan, real fresh squeezed orange juice is hard to find. It's always that concentrated stuff. Bleech! So you don't see too many Japanese drinking this stuff either.

Also! Important! Real men don't drink things like screw drivers or margarita's or, for that matter, go to Starbucks and order Cafe Ole or sissy drinks like Frappucino or Crappucino either!

What drinking gin and tonic says about you

Gin and tonics are definitely a step up from the screwdriver. Even if only because they do not contain a fruit juice but instead a bitter liquor and seltzer water, because they look elegant and are served in stylishly simple glasses, and because they call to mind a man who appreciates an easy time inebriating himself without under-appreciating the process. Gin and tonics are the B version James Bond (or James Bond on his day off in a dark saloon.) Gin and tonics are fairly nondescript, because a large collection of younger kids, women, ancient men and even depressed mothers drink them. This means you aren’t trapped in anyway, but you also haven’t made any kind of dashing statement, which means more work for you.

This seems to me to be the cocktail of choice for young Japanese women. In Japan, the choices are completely different (as I will show in a bit). Japanese girls like sweet drinks like this or what we call "Lemon Sour."

What drinking a godfather says about you

There’s not much explanation necessary for the godfather. When women discover what’s in the drink they’ll raise an eyebrow, and maybe later their skirts. 

They'll raise their skirts just because of your drink!? What a bunch of loose hussys you have in the USA! On the other hand, this drink, if translated correctly could have huge potential in the Asian market. If you know what I mean (wink! wink!)

When your boss hears you order it, he’ll raise an eyebrow and possibly your position in the company. 

No kidding? That easy?

The godfather, a solid and simple combination of one part scotch, one part amaretto, says you like it strong, with a kick and close to ‘much too intense for everybody else.’ The godfather makes you a standalone man, not only because many people rarely order them these days, but because you’ve managed to put a classic (scotch), with a semi-eccentric (amaretto). This means good things all around. 

Not in Japan it don't. In Japan the team is important. We don't need too many nails. As in "The nails that sticks out gets hammered down."

Moreover, you can drink a godfather in a tux, tattered jeans or denim jacket and it won’t matter. The drink itself speaks so highly of you and your undeniable, masculine strengths, that to fret over your clothes would undermine everything.

Undeniable masculine strengths? tux? No wonder I've never heard of this drink. I'm just a wimpy guy trying to stay out of trouble!

What drinking beer says about you

Founding Father Ben Franklin is quoted as saying, “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” That’s what women see in handsome guys drinking brews. They see proof that God exists. And that he wants everyone in the bar to be happy. Sooner, rather than later.

Really? God wants everyone in the bar to be happy sooner rather than later? If that's true then people should drink something stronger, no? It's takes me a long time to get drunk on beer. I like it but if you want me to get really happy, really quickly, then I have bring out some heavier artillery than just plain old beer (even though Japanese beer is really strong). Let me now tell you about the Japanese booze that I drink regularly... But before that, maybe this comment is true. If so that just shows that, while there might be a God, the USA is definitely not God's country... Why? USA beers all suck and taste like watered down donkey piss. Those poor people! You'd think the country that could land on the moon could come out with a decent beer. But they don't. Weird, eh?

Now, to localize this article for the Japanese crowd or us folks in Japan. Since the writer didn't mention about wine, I too, will avoid mentioning Japanese sake as, if I drink that stuff, I wind up singing and dancing on top of the tables. Good times. Good times.

What drinking Korean Sho-chu says about you

For one, it says, "I'm in Japan (or Korea)!" Because I've looked for this stuff in the USA several times. Couldn't find it. Shochu must be in the top 5 alcohols that the discerning - as well as non discerning - Japanese drink. The Japanese usually drink, beer, happoshu (like beer only low calories and cheaper), rice sake, whiskey (scotch) and shochu.

Shochu is just about all I ever drink anymore. I mentioned before that I have gout so the wine, beer and whiskey are out. shochu doesn't have the ingredients that cause gout attacks, so it's safe to drink in moderation for gout sufferers! That's fine by me as beer makes you fat, I already told you that I don't like the taste of whiskey, and I go crazy drinking sake... So shochu it is! shochu is strong (25% alcohol) and so it gets the job done right. And there's all sorts from the good stuff to the rot gut. There's expensive shochu and really cheap Shochu... 


4 1/2 stars!


I'll give you one guess which I drink usually...

What drinking Hoppy says about you

Hoppy is a non alcohol beer that was the drink of choice back in the 1950's ~ 1970's. But has had a mighty revival in Japan these past 5 years or so. Why? it tastes pretty good and the stuff is cheap. I mean dirt cheap. When guys would go out to drink, they'd usually treat themselves to one beer then follow that with a shochu tanked Hoppy to get themselves inebriated. For example, at most bars and  Izakaya today in Tokyo, a beer runs anywhere between ¥500 ~ ¥800. But a Hoppy with a large shot of shochu in it runs about ¥400 ~ ¥450... And, since both Hoppy and shochu are better for guys with gout... In a country like Japan where far too many of us drink far too much in excess, Hoppy it is on a hot summer day.  


4 stars!


What drinking lemon sours says about you

No. Guys, don't drink this. This is a girl's drink or it says that you don't drink at all...If you guys are going to drink this sweet cocktail, stick with ice water... At least you won't be throwing up in the street later on because you are a rookie and can't hold your liquor.... Good times. Good times.


2 stars!

What drinking one cup shochu says about you

This is the bottom of the barrel in Japan. This is a disgrace. Never drink this stuff in public. This says that you are already married or you were married and got a divorce because your wife couldn't handle your drunken ass all the time. Drinking one cup shochu says that you been in Japan so long that you are nearly destitute or your wife gives you an allowance so you haven't any money so you want to get the biggest bang for your buck, in the quickest way possible. Of course, you'd love to go to the Izakaya and have yaki-tori with the friends, but how can you do that with only ¥250 yen in your pocket? You can't. But you can buy one of these! Stop off on the grocery store on the way home from work and buy one of these, chug it down on the way home (make sure the neighbors don't see you!) and you have a nice light buzz when you walk in and say, "Tadaima!" (I'm home!)... Good times! Good Times!


Takara one cup shochu? 1.5 stars, but for ¥150 yen a bottle at OK store, what can you expect? (about ¥225 at a convenience store!)


What drinking Happoshu says about you

There's also one more category of drink that is popular called Happoshu. This is a sort of light beer. It's really cheap. Some brands even advertise that theirs has a slight metallic taste (as if that's a plus! Yeech!)... College students and poor people drink this stuff... Good Times!


Happoshu? 1.2 stars.


Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this informative article. What does your alcohol say about you?


I know what mine says about me and, frankly speaking, it's not a pretty picture!


Read more great stuff at Lew Rockwell.com.