Friday, October 21, 2011

Too Many People, Too Many Parties

There's way too many parties in town. Be those real parties or virtual parties. When it comes to virtual parties, I am seriously thinking about dropping out of Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter. I have a blog, if really someone wants to find me, they can go there. It's my blog so it's my party. I'm thinking that I haven't the time for the other parties.

At big parties, there's too many people. I can't find those to have good, really interesting conversations with so easily. 

I can have intimate conversations with the few people I care about at small parties. At massive parties? Nope. At a huge party, few can have meaningful conversations at all. Besides that, the virtual parties have all sorts of problems...

Facebook has a poor record of invading our privacy.

Twitter sends junk mail and Spam all the time.

I still haven't really figured out what Linkedin is for so I use it to make silly remarks. 

My Linkedin. "Tosser" is British slang for "someone who masturbates"
It is a slag off off people who try to impress others with their Linkedin 
profiles. Like I said, Linked in is for people looking for jobs... Not to brag like a high school kid about how hot you are because of your current job position... Lame! 

I am not looking for a job (and if you ever read my Linkedin profile, you wouldn't offer me one! Chuckle!) I haven't figured out why gainfully employed people would put their profile on Linkedin. I mean, if they have a good job, then why put a profile on Linkedin? Unless, of course, it's kind of like the masturbation you see at high school class reunions where the people who haven't matured past 17 are still trying to impress each other.

What for?

These are my peeves about the virtual parties. Real parties (actually the ones that really matter) are a different story, but can often offer the same problems as the virtual parties: Too many people and no way to have an intimate and meaningful conversation.

Let me give you and example. Last night, my dear friend Paul, who is Buzz Marketing Director for Apple Asia and I attended a party in Harajuku. There we saw about 200 people who were attending the event to witness a new device.

After the demonstration was over, I introduced Paul to the Marketing Director and the Sports director of this major international company. There the four of us had a very good, in depth, meaningful conversation for about 20 minutes. We exchanged business cards and agreed to meet again and discuss ways that we can use our synergies to make our businesses better, have more organic, promotions and more powerful marketing.

After that conversation, and even though the event after party was just starting I said to Paul, "Let's go!" As we walked out, the pretty receptionist said to me;

"Are you leaving so soon? The party is just begun."

I replied, "Yes. We saw your product and talked to a few people. It was quite nice, thank you."

"But now is your chance to meet lots of people and pass around many business cards! Don't go now! You're missing a good chance."

I thanked her so much and Paul and I walked out.

I said to Paul, "I hope you don't mind" (he didn't at all). I continued, "There are so many people at that party, and parties like this, that I have come to realize that I could go around and meet 40 or 50 people (or more) and pass out tons of business cards, but what good would that do me? I think we met the two most powerful people there and we had a meaningful conversation with them..."

"I think that, going to parties like this, and having an in-depth, honest and sincere discussion with a few select people is much more useful and beneficial than going around and having a short, superficial conversation with many people..."

Paul interjected, "Yeah and then getting all these business cards from people who you can't remember even the next morning."

I was glad Paul saw things as I did.

Remember, whether it is a real party or a virtual party on Social Media, meeting and getting to know one or two people is much better than a surface conversation with dozens. By having a long conversation with just two people, I was able to do several very important things:

1) I can definitely remember their name, both first and last
2) I can definitely know their faces and I have a good idea of "who" they are
3) I know their personality better
4) I arranged a business meeting with them next week to discuss concrete details on how we can all work together to better our business for our mutual benefit.

How can you do that if you are at a party with 200 people and you pass out 60 cards in one and one-half hours? You can't.

Remember: at a party, there's only so much time available. Use that time wisely and focus it. Shallow, surface conversations will result in shallow results.

Deep, caring, sincere conversations will result in outcomes that better your life and your business.

It's a simple choice. nine times out of ten, the simples choices are correct.


Mark said...

I completely agree about those huge parties. I always feel like a Las Vegas dealer with my business cards. Therefore, I never go unless I have a purpose such as meeting a specific person or persons and or to gawk at the pretty girls.

So yes you left the party early and maybe you would have met another very important person, but it is all about the ROI. If you stayed the whole night you "May" have met someone, but the probability of you drinking the whole night away and feeling like isht the next morning is very high. I would rather get my business done and head home to be with my family.

Executive Search said...

I totally agree with you. For years now this has pretty much been my own modus operandi. Plus - for anyone who notices - it can look pretty cool: you walk in, talk privately with the keynote speaker or other power person and quietly walk out, people n¥may then wonder "who was that masked man?"
Well done!

Murasaki Shikibu said...

I always did wonder about why people were standing around talking to people from their own company at big Christmas parties. If I'm not mistaken you're supposed to be talking to the client and your suppliers, not your own people. :P

Murasaki Shikibu said...

Mike: This is off-topic but could you give me a few names of your favorite vegetarian restaurants in Tokyo? (Preferably in the Shinjuku area). Thanks!

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