Letter from DJ Al Tarded

Sometimes people write things to me that are so full of twisted and faulty reasoning that I am astounded. I have a son who just entered high school and I would expect a much higher level of writing skill, as well as thinking than the mail I received today.

The guy was responding to an article I wrote where I was giving hints to artists on how to treat DJs and get them to play your music. Refer: Your Music on The Radio? It's a Two-Way Street! https://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.jp/2017/12/your-music-on-radio-its-two-way-street.html

DJ Al took offense and proceeded to send me this tortured correspondence. First I will print his mail then I will post it again with my rebuttals to his confused points one by one.

First his original mail:

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In a commercial radio environment your comments are reckless and disrespectful. Many of the indie artists are working full time jobs and don't have people to check all the social media that goes on daily. What your statement comes down to is, if you don't say hi, I will take my ball and go home. When you play these artists how many plays a week are they getting? How many a day? Is it just during your show or throughout the entire day? It is fantastic that you are trending on Twitter, but that doesn't equate to the number of listeners. You say you have the data to show you have a lot of listeners, yet you don't point to any reference to prove this point. You were quick to point out the Twitter data though. I am not saying you don't have them, my real point is you come across as an arrogant spoiled on air personality. My suggestion to Indie artists, is you don't have to pay a dime to radio to get air time, and you don't need to kiss the butt of guys like these. If your mom doesnt follow you on FB do you ignore here too. (sic)

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Now, my rebuttal. My comments are in blue.

In a commercial radio environment your comments are reckless and disrespectful. 

My comments are reckless and disrespectful? (is this your attempt at trying to sound erudite?) What does that even mean, Al? Reckless in what way? Do you even know what the definition of reckless is? Reckless means, "Careless of consequences," Al... Consequences of my writing tips to indies artists? Maybe we need call in the UN Security Council?

Reckless and disrespectful? This is a subjective judgment with no basis in science or fact; and since all morality is subjective, it doesn't mean anything. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has an asshole too. Reckless and disrespectful to who, Al? Go on, tell us more....

Many of the indie artists are working full time jobs and don't have people to check all the social media that goes on daily. 

Working at a full-time job!? Oh my god. Unheard of. Working at a job? My lord...  

Look, Al, I'll explain it so that even you can understand; there are lots of factors that come into play whether someone "makes it" or not. I don't know a single indies musician that doesn't have to work. We all have to work. The ones who do "make it" are the ones who get lucky (it is said one makes their own luck) and the ones who make it overcome nearly insurmountable odds and obstacles... They have a job and play the guitar too!? How do they ever do that?  Good lord! When do they sleep, Al?

What your statement comes down to is, if you don't say hi, I will take my ball and go home. (sic)

No, Al, that's not what it says. What it says is that this is a two-way street and there are only so many minutes in a radio show, so I can't afford to waste time on artists who aren't overcoming the difficulties and obstacles we all must face. If you can't, someone else will. It's the real world.

When you play these artists how many plays a week are they getting? How many a day? Is it just during your show or throughout the entire day? 

OK. I'll bite at this twisted reasoning and leap off into left-field.... Just my show, Al? Let's count it, OK? 

But since you live in the sticks in a city with a population of 383,822 and Tokyo is over 38,000,000 according to a 2016 UN estimate. That means one play on my show on one day is worth about 1 play on your show for over 3 months. (100 plays on your station). How about it, Al? Do the math. I hope your mathematical skills are not a lacking as your reasoning skills... Actually, Al, it's even worse than 100 to 1. You guys have hundreds of radio stations in your area. Tokyo only has 5 commercial FM stations. 

It is fantastic that you are trending on Twitter, but that doesn't equate to the number of listeners. You say you have the data to show you have a lot of listeners, yet you don't point to any reference to prove this point. You were quick to point out the Twitter data though. 

Al, you can't be so lost as to not understand that there is a direct correlation between Twitter Trending and numbers of listeners... Do you claim to be ignorant of how it works? 

Let me explain to you how it works, OK? During my live show, on air, I tell listeners to Tweet something and add my hashtag, they do it... That's how it works, Al.... It's REAL-TIME, that's why it is called "TRENDING." 

Data from Neilsen research shows that, on average, out of 100 people, 1 might send an email to a radio station.... The numbers are slightly higher for Twitter (it's simpler to use). TV shows, radio shows, product manufacturers, etc. etc. all use Twitter in this way. Try it sometime, Al, you might even get into the Top in your neighborhood. Oh, did I forget that the population of tiny Japan is more than 3 times that of all of Canada? That should be pretty simple to figure out what that means, Al...

I am not saying you don't have them, my real point is you come across as an arrogant spoiled on air personality. 

Why? Why do you call me arrogant? Because I write an article to help artists to game the system and get an advantage? Did you write any articles giving anyone any tips? No? 

I am arrogant because I tell musicians what to do to get on air and stay there? Arrogant, because I try to help them get on air? Or am I arrogant because #Localmoose trends higher than your show on Canada's Twitter charts? Or are you just jealous because you are on a small local station? 

Because I do make the effort to help these artists and give them tips (no, life isn't always easy) you call me arrogant and spoiled? My ass. I work my butt off and have been breaking new artists on the radio for over 32 years... I have been involved the music business since 1977... 

My suggestion to Indie artists, is you don't have to pay a dime to radio to get air time, and you don't need to kiss the butt of guys like these. 

Your suggestion is more illogical nonsense. Try to stay on subject here, Al. Where did I ever say that any of us asked for money? Payola is illegal in most places and against the company rules (maybe you take it, good on you, Al.) 

No one asked for money. No one asked for butt kissing. It's 2017, try to get into the nineties, Al... If artists and losers have to whine about the difficulties of "making it" in the internet age then, no problem. We don't play your crappy music (because you are too busy at your McJob to make it anyway) and you don't support our programs. Wallah! Problem solved! Everyone's happy.

If your mom doesnt follow you on FB do you ignore here too. (sic)

Al, you've written some really stupid things here, but this is by far the stupidest thing you've written so far. My mom is not an indie artist, and if she were, and I did play her, I'm sure she'd have already liked my page... She's a mom. That's what moms do.