Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Incredibly, Over 92% of All Adults Have Bad Toilet Manners. Do You? Here's a Simple Test!

Like many etiquette rules: be conservative in what you do, and liberal in what you accept from others. - Old saying

I want to talk about a pet peeve... Or, should I say, a "Pet Poo-ve"?

The following is a true story.... 

I had known John and Suzie since I was a high school student. In fact, I introduced them. Now, they are living together...

I walk into John and Suzie's apartment and they are fighting again. What are they fighting about? The typical thing that a dysfunctional couple always fights about: The female is complaining that the male never lowers the toilet seat after he is done with his standing up position and relieving himself.

They both ask me my opinion (I guess I look like an expert or something). Suzie says, "Shouldn't the guy lower the seat after he's done so that the woman doesn't have to?" John pisses and moans that it is the duty of whoever enters to set the seat to the position that they need, not the previous person.

I ask, "Who used the toilet last?" Suzie says she did and she's sick of having to put the seat down every time she uses the toilet. I look in the bathroom. Indeed the seat is down.

I walk back into the living room to see the two fuming over this ridiculous nonsense.

"Well?" They both ask me...

"You are both wrong." I say....


That was 35 years ago. And from what I see I've taught my children well. Everywhere I go, to offices, homes, where ever only a small percentage of people close the toilet seat lid. I am anal-retentive that way. I notice things like that...

I always close the toilet lid before I flush. I was brought up by a woman that taught us proper manners. Even my eight-year-old son has better toilet manners than, dare I say, 92% of all people reading this blog post.

Here's why: My son knows that after every use of the toilet that it is not just the seat that should be closed, but the top lid too (what's a lid for, anyway?) Women who leave the toilet with the seat down yet do not close the lid have no business calling guys who don't lower the seat as savages... Hell, both, if they don't close the lid, seem like they were brought up under rocks.

Guys, girls, after using the toilet, you might think this is anal, but good manners and proper upbringing dictate closing the toilet lid.

Moms, dads, teach your children manners... Aren't you embarrassed when they go to some one's home and they don't close the toilet lid?

Guys, girls, when you date someone and go to meet the parents the first time, make sure you always close the toilet seat lid. Do it even if their family never does it. Why? Because they will start to notice that after you use the toilet that you always close the cover properly... That shows manners and that your parents were not, as Basil Fawlty would say, "Riff Raff."


Test your manners!

Which toilet seat position after use shows proper manners and upbringing?:

Hint: For people that don't wash their hands in public toilets because they don't want to touch door handles or toilet lids: Close the lid. Then grab some toilet paper, then wash your hands, then use the toilet paper to shut off the water and open the toilet door. Always carrying extra tissues is a good idea... This is a good way to avoid colds and the flu.

*By the way, before someone jumps on me for some silliness.... Miss Manners completely agrees with me (of course, it's common sense). She discussed this in a column once. When asked about the "seat up or down" issue she said they're both wrong, you're supposed to close the thing entirely including the lid (for both aesthetic and practical and health reasons). Always close the lid before flushing as that prevents dirty water particles from going into the air!


Anonymous said...

Lid is left up to remind one to check for spiders first as lid is lowered and before seating?

Anonymous said...

This article is total crap!!! ;) LOL!

Anonymous said...

I have a question of etiquette. If paper currency is cheaper, can we use it instead of toilet paper?

-Interested Observer

Anonymous said...

I voted crap because of an article about the stuff...

Andrew Joseph said...

To the Interested Observer - the Germans - pre-WWII used to use their money instead of buying toilet paper as it was Mark had devalued so much that it was near worthless. That was part of their punishment after WWI... and led to the fanaticism that led to the rise of Hitler and WWII... I'm talking roughly here - like 1-ply toilet paper... but perhaps if they could have used real toilet paper the Germans wouldn't have allowed Hitler into power.
And Mike... you are correct. Closing the lid... that was how I was raised.

Anonymous said...

Another reason to keep the lid down, in some parts of the world, is to keep the water the city shoots through the lines (as they clear the sewer lines from a clog) from ending up All Over your floor.

If the lid is down, most of the water gets re-directed back into the bowl.

If the lid is Up it goes - Out - and All over the floor.

... Learned that the hard way.

It's good manners for a reason. And that's just one, I hope to learn of no more reasons.

- IndividualAudienceMember

Anonymous said...

Great and useful article. Thanks.

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