Sunday, June 12, 2011

Radiation Causes Dreadlocks, Black Flag, Circle Jerking & Off!

I like Punk Rock. I like underground music. I like anything as long as it's new and not the Hit Parade of Hell. I hate that over produced corporate rock crap that they are always playing on the radio (not on my show, they aren't!) 
Nervous Breakdown is probably my all-time favorite Black Flag song

I like new things. I like adventure and excitement. Life is short so I want to enjoy it. I want to enjoy life so much that I'll try anything at least once.... excepting, maybe, the bizarre trends of the elitists such as three-some nipple bondage, Barack Obama and bungee jumping.

I want to enjoy my life.

I subscribe to several dozen free online music publications. One of my favorites is called  Punk Music. I like these publications because they actually send me free MP3's that I can download and play and do with as I wish.

Free? I love the sound of that.  

In the latest issue of Punk Music, they were talking about Keith Morris, lead singer of seminal punk bands from Los Angeles such as Black Flag, Circle Jerks and Off! Keith was asked what the secret was of his massive dreadlocks. They asked him if they could test his dreads to see what sort of goodies resided in there. Keith complied and allowed his hair to be tested and the results have come in: Keith Morris' dreads have extremely high levels of radiation (uranium to be exact) as well as arsenic and some other known not-so-goodies.

I thought this was funny. I thought it was good to finally have some humor about radiation since recently all we get is overly hyperventilating nonsense from people about how radiation from Fukushima is going to kill 200,000 people! Just like SARS was going to kill 150 million people. Just like Swine Flu was going to kill 50 million people. Just like bird flu was going to kill 75 million people, on and on and on...

They never happened.

Just as I wrote in Japan Nuclear Disaster Update and Strong Criticism of Western Media Sensationalism:

As of today, worldwide deaths from Swine Flu: 82. No nuclear weapons for Saddam (if he had any, do you really think we would have invaded Iraq?). Worldwide deaths from SARS: 100. Worldwide deaths from Bird Flu: 80. Don't even get me started on Man Made Global Warming!

But this post is about massive and dangerous amounts of uranium being found in the hair of the lead singer of a famous punk rock band!

All About Punk Music reports:
It's not often that we delve in science or beauty tips here, but today we're doing both by answering a question that has weighed on all our minds for years: What's the secret behind Circle Jerks/OFF! frontman Keith Morris' lustrous locks?

Turns out, it's uranium.

Vice Magazine, while pondering this conundrum, asked Morris for a sample of his dreads in order to submit them for analysis. Surprisingly, he complied.

Not only did the results come back showing high levels of uranium, but they also found arsenic arsenic and an excess of copper, which can lead to hair loss, which may be the reason why Morris just lets it all run wild. Don't mess with it if it's working.

The study, which has been reported here, doesn't explain if the uranium has mutated Morris into a super mutant here over the years - a sort of Super Circle Jerk - so we can only assume that the answer is yes, it has, and this is being kept under wraps in order to preserve his secret life running wild in the streets....

Cool! I chuckled when I read this. I love the "Who cares?" attitude of punks. Other rock'n'roll woosies probably would have freaked out and cut all their hair off. Wimps!

Depending on what you think about Keith Morris, Black Flag, the Circle Jerks and punk rock music in general, I reckon that the discovery of Keith having this irradiated material in his hair proves that the radiation is not as dangerous as we have been lead to believe....

Either that or it proves that punk rock really is brain damage!

If even only for the peace of mind of their parents, let's hope these punk rockers recover from their illness and get "better."


Read the hysterically funny article about the analysis of Keith Morris' hair here: 

From that article: 

In Keith’s case, he could suffer from depression and unnamed allergy symptoms, which doesn’t sound that bad considering he’s walking around with the Fukushima reactor on his head. In fact, Keith’s hair was probably the healthiest overall.
Read the rest at Vice Magazine: 
WE ANALYZED KEITH MORRIS' DREADLOCK - It Contained Uranium and Arsenic


Anonymous said...

As a 1980's Person I should have heard that song long ago, but this was the first time.

Thanks for providing me the experience.

I never made it onto a surfboard, never had a dread-lock either, but otherwise I could totally relate to the song.

Like you, I used to like adventure and excitement, until I got bit by a mosquito that gave me Filariasis. I didn't even have to travel to get it, it's a middle America thing now, although no one will broadcast that fact. It sapped the fun right out of me, i think i'd trade it for radiation in a heartbeat.

Moral of the story is, live it up and make the most of it while you can.

- Clark

mike in tokyo rogers said...

Dear Clark,

That really sucks. Isn't there a potential cure (or control) using antibiotics? Hope you get better real soon, dude!

Anonymous said...

antibiotics has worked somewhat, but not totally, and antibiotics is a whole nother bad set of side effects too.


Anonymous said...

I feel like adding, before I took antibiotics (and after) I sometimes experienced a metallic (copper?) taste from Filariasis,... maybe that's what People are dealing with in your other posts?

Now that I know what the symptoms look like, it appears that many People in my area have it, I wouldn't be surprised if it was quite widespread.

Also, thanks for the, "Hope you get better real soon, dude!" I don't Ever talk about this and it's the first time anyone has ever said that to me.
I've written about it a time or two, but that is always greeted with silence.

After dealing with this for several years... "soon" would be nice, I'd even settle for someday.

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