Sunday, June 26, 2011

Anal Retentive Foreigners in Japan

The term in Japanese is ”ケツの穴ちいちゃい男” (Ketsu no ana chichai otoko) it literally means "A guy with a tight a*shole."

You'll never learn this term in any Japanese language textbooks or even from most Japanese friends. I learned this term from working with some Japanese comedian (Taro Furukawa) for over 12 years. Taro is one of my best friends. He is a real rock and roller and he and I have been involved with many legal and illegal activities before which shall remain unnamed.

He's the one who taught me this term, "Ketsu no ana chichai otoko".

Taro Furukawa

"Ketsu no ana chichai otoko" means "a guy with a tight a*shole" but, in English, I think it is closer to being "anal retentive."

Trust me that, god damn! there's a sh*t load of anal retentive foreigners in Japan. Really, I'm not kidding. Sh*tloads of them. The fact that I won't write "shitloads" and instead write "sh*tloads" shows that I am and wimp and one of these anal retentive folks.

Famous bumper sticker in USA: "I + love +
c*nt + tree + music"

Anyway, there's lots of these sh*thead foreigners in this country. God, what a bunch of dilweeds. 

This last week, I got this crap from a few of these dimwits concerning the origin of "Flyjin" and the boring repercussions. I can't believe that people even care about this anymore. They were complaining and insinuating that I was one of the "types" who thought up "Flyjin" and that I was losing friends.

First off, I' not smart enough to think of such a term and, two, I have no friends to lose. 

But, OK, I'm game. I'll play along. That morons who left Japan, at the start of the nuclear problems at Fukushima, split because of the "nuclear holocaust" that was going to happen, but hasn't happened, now defend that leaving Japan, because of said nuclear holocaust, was going to happen because the government was "lying" about that nuclear accident, that was supposed to happen that didn't happen, proves that the people who left Japan were right and those who stayed were "wrong" proves that the "Flyjin" were "right" (in spending hundreds of thousands of yen splitting and then returning though nothing has changed nor gotten better). This proves that the Flyjin were "right" and those that stayed were "fried" as in "Fryjin" even though the Flyjin have returned and the situation hasn't gotten any better or stable since March 15th. And not a single person has "fried".

Whew! Got that? Excellent logical and deduction skills! Bravo!

One clown, who will be unnamed, wrote on his Twitter account about how the term Flyjin started:

"Yes, the term was started by Gaijins. I personally know the sort of bad apples who did. They now have even fewer friends than b4."

Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! What a twit. Really? Let's be really anal retentive and pick this crap apart. Don't complain, that I do this only leads more stupid people to try follow this guy as his Twitter account is at least good for comedy.

First he says says:

"Yes, the term was started by Gaijins. I personally know the sort of bad apples who did."

Oh really? Aren't you embarrassed by this? You personally "know the sort of bad apples" who started this? Oh really? Or maybe this is a case of bad apples or jealousy on your part? You personally know the type? Or maybe you personally have penis envy to them?

Which is it?

Then this clown actually writes: 

"They now have even fewer friends than b4."

Laughable. Why? well, if you look, this clown only has 14 followers on Twitter. Fourteen! One four. 1 - 4. One - four! That's even less friends than your dog next door has on Twitter. Jeez. Think before your write, dude! That's just fricking embarrassing.


There's a ton of self-righteous foreigners in this country. You'd think that they'd have their arguments and act together before they go and shoot off some illogical and poorly written nonsense....

But then again, if they did check their work before handing in to the teacher, then they wouldn't be idiot students... That they fail to do the minimum check only proves that they are poor students and will always be anal retentive foreigners in Japan.... With (quite deserving) low paid jobs with little or no job security.

People who couldn't get jobs washing cars back home come to Japan and can at least get a job and a cute girlfriend. It's not too bad.... Yet they complain and run away at the first tinkling of the alarm. 

This is what we call ”ケツの穴ちいちゃい男” (Ketsu no ana chichai otoko).


boo said...

When I first heard the term, I thought it was quite lame (still do), but probably thought up by a geek English native speaker (not you!). Basically because 1) that variant of rhyming slang isn't popular in Japanese and 2) the term only works if you can pronounce it perfectly, not as フライ人, which most Japanese can't pull off.

Anonymous said...

Anal retentive foreigners in Japan? @Mike:look in the mirror-then you will see one

Andrew Joseph said...

Good job, Mike!
It sucks to say this being so far away right now, but I know I wouldn't have left. Japan was my home. Ohtawara-shi was my home. I hurt to leave. The opportunity to stay in Japan ad to help those who need help would have been key! Hell... the Fukushima 50! Those guys are heroes! Every person who stayed, and stayed to help out rather than run to save their own skin are deserving of the term flyjin. It's a well-deserved insulting term.
As for your buddy Taro... sounds like a great guy. Probably a good thing you and I never crossed paths when I was there in the early 90s. I think I'd have had liver damage and a police record!Ha! As such, I managed to hurt my liver all by my lonesome with a whole other bunch of gaijin buddies and Nihonjin buddies.
Boo to anal-retentive flyjin. Keep up the excellent work, Mike!

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous above is surely one. The writer even says he is anal rententive but Anonymous isn't bright enough to catch the parody.

Steve 'Poots' Candidus said...

Anyone that posts anonymously automatically qualifies as being anal retentive - or more accurately just an asshole.

If you have something to say put your name on it and take the responsibility for what you state.

Use anonymous for charitable donations where it belongs…

Steve 'Poots' Candidus

mike in tokyo rogers said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Steve, you crack me up! Thanks for the hearty laugh this morning.
Sign me, "Anonymous Mike"

Anonymous said...

Of course most foreigners in Japan are asswipes. What do u call people in yr country who come there & don't bother to learn to read or write? ILLITERATES! (Actually I know you call them much worse than that!)

Don't let these people get u down, Mike. UR writing what many of us r thinking but r afraid to say in public.

Trent (PS. I passed N1 Japanese proficiency 日本語能力試験 6 years ago)

Anonymous said...

What makes your buddy an expert on the size of ....?

Anonymous said...

He's the one who taught me this term, "Ketsu no ana chichai otoko".

Why is your buddy teaching you terms regarding the size of mens' ....?

mike in tokyo rogers said...

Dear anonymous... I suggest that you read books and perhaps you will learn something about usual American and English vernacular. Never heard the slang term "tight ass?" I suggest that you look it up and expand your vocabulary!

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