I love Christmas When (a Demented Poem About Christmas)

I love Christmas when.... (By Reggie Bates)

I love Christmas when....  

I love Christmas when 
Dad is stoned on booze 
picking fights with me and mom 
fights were sure to lose 
mom counters with a frying pan 
dad's head she's sure to bruise 
But I love Christmas when 
dad is stoned on booze 

I love Christmas when 
we're shopping at the mall 
people going bat-shit crazy 
shoppers wall-to-wall 
If only one hand grenade 
and I could have them all 
but I love Christmas when 
we're shopping at the mall


I love Christmas when 
the relatives all stop by 
all those people you just can't stand 
wishing they'd all die 
The only way to cope with it is 
to constantly stay high 
but I love Christmas when 
the relatives all stop by