Friday, March 11, 2011

Japan's Attack of the Giant Jellyfish From Space!

Millions of Massive Jellyfish are Invading Japan!
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. It's true! It has been reported from Hiroshima, of all places, that hordes of millions of giant jellyfish have invaded the seas around Western Japan. These jellyfish are massive with some weighing in at over 210 kilograms!

Super sonic jets cannot catch them!

Rockets cannot stop them!

Armored tanks are helpless before them!

Even guided missiles are powerless!

See the Giant JellyFish from Space Destroy an Entire Country! 

The entire population of Japan is in a panic and the Japanese government has asked for United Nations assistance in dealing with the invaders from outer space. They have also asked that people remain calm and stay indoors while the Japanese military attack the giant jellyfish by air and sea.

If the situation does not get under control, then the Japanese government will ask that nuclear weapons be used on the invaders.

Don't believe me? Well here's proof! The UPI reports:

HIROSHIMA, Japan, March 9 (UPI) -- Giant jellyfish, thought to be from Chinese waters, have been floating into the Sea of Japan and wreaking havoc on the Japanese fishing industry, officials say.

Millions of the creatures, each weighing almost 450 pounds with a bell reaching almost 7 feet across and trailing a tangle of long, stinging tentacles, have moved into the Sea of Japan every summer since 2002, reported Wednesday.

Armadas of giant jellyfish, Nemopilemanomurai, probably originate in the coastal waters of China, Shin-ichi Uye of Hiroshima University said. Uye said he has documented the movement of young giant jellyfish from Chinese waters into the Sea of Japan on currents, and the growth of these jellyfish along the way.

OK, well, I made up the part about the jellyfish being from space... Oh, and, I also made up the part about the people panicking and the Japanese government sending out the military and asking the United Nations for assistance.... And, I suppose, the part about the nuclear weapons was a bit "over the top."

But an invasion of giant jellyfish! What a great story, eh?

Is there anywhere else besides Japan that you could imagine even having a story like giant jellyfish like this in the news? Nope. Only Japan.

Now, if I can only get George Lucas to buy my idea about giant (cute) anime jellyfish from space coming to earth to capture our females to use as love slaves, I'd be rich!

God, I love Japan. 


Anonymous said...

Sell 'em back to the Chinese. They love eating jellyfish. That's probably the best solution...

Anonymous said...

jelly fish should be used as fertilizer.. get them bring them in sun dry them then mash into fertilizer...

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