Sunday, November 7, 2010

Never Try to Outrun a Japanese Motorcycle Cop

The title says it all: Never Try to Outrun a Japanese Motorcycle Cop. Seriously. Don't even think about it. You're not going to get away.

They call them "Shiro-bai" (White bikes) in Japan. They are the motorcycle cops. They are not your friends...

No. They are (like most cops) not out to make the roads or society safer; they are out to give you tickets and collect fines.

Actually, I tried once to out run a motorcycle cop in Japan. I made an illegal right turn on a street in Yokohama and, out of the corner of my rear-view mirror, I saw a cop running to get on his bike.

I made some very quick turns on some very narrow streets and I thought, "He is never going to catch me!" What an idiot I was! That guy was on on top of my ass like light-speed!

These Japanese motorcycle cops can ride, dude!

So, the moral of the story is that, never try to outrun a Japanese motorcycle cop. If you ever do get stopped by a Japanese motorcycle cop (and you are a foreigner) NEVER speak a word of Japanese to them. Be very polite. Act like you are lost. Act like you have no idea why they are stopping you.

I've done this several times and never gotten a ticket once!

Hint: Atsugi is the name of a very famous US airforce base in Tokyo. If a cop ever stops you, just try to look stupider than your normal self and repeat, "Atsugi? Atsugi?"

They will let you go. I know. I have a gold drivers license. Which means I haven't gotten a traffic ticket in 10 years.

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